From: WRIGHT, EDDIE
Jun 26, 2016, 1:06 PM
When I first sat down to write this post, right after reading this article about a father who refused to claim his son’s body after he was killed in the Orlando Massacre at club Pulse, my outrage, anger, and disgust for this father who was causing more hurt and pain to his son’s family and friends was clear in my explicit word expression because…..I was mad as hell.
My blood was boiling as visions of a young mans body, alone in the morgue just waiting for his loved one’s to put him to rest flashed in my minds eye. I was livid and had to step away from what I was writing when I noticed how upset it made me.
I went and got a fresh cup of coffee, collected my thoughts, took a few deep breath as I read over what I originally wrote and then I started over.
I already know that plenty of people are going to post comments expressing their outrage at this fathers actions and more of the same from me wouldn’t help. So by the time I finished my coffee and calmed down, returning to my spiritual center, I realized this is one of those fathers I posted about a few weeks ago who won’t get the chance to heal the relationship with his child.
So now from my Gangster turned Guru perspective, I began to feel sad for this father, and all fathers who couldn’t overcome their own prejudices and fears by learning to love unconditionally. I’m sure this fathers son would rather I use this opportunity to again encourage father’s to reach out to their children and work on healing their relationships. If ever there was a time to offer your parental comfort it’s NOW.
I’ve been the master of bad choices and decisions as a parent, and with my life in general, I can admit and accept that. But when I got over my self-righteous, egotistical, know it all way of thinking, swallowed my macho man pride by letting my son know that I love him unconditionally, weather he’s gay, straight, transgender or what ever… A great peace, joy and happiness was felt within my soul.
I realized that with all my imperfections as a father, my son never stopped loving me even when I didn’t make it easy to be loved.
Each time I send out a post expressing the importance of our parental love, acceptance and support, I do it with the specific intent of reaching that father I used to be. Confused, alone, struggling with accepting what I couldn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. But what I did want was to have the courage to be the type of loving father I promised to be when I first held my son, looking into his eyes, silently letting him know that he could always depend on me. I broke that promise plenty of times, but life gave me another opportunity to live up to it and I try my hardest even in my complex situation.
I’m really trying my hardest now to come up with the right words to write that will wake up these fathers that are actually hurting inside, especially with a heart so cold that it allows a father to leave his child’s body unclaimed. No he doesn’t need another person to scold him for his actions, what he needs is a hug because he’s hurting and suffering from a broken heart.
I speak as a father that went through it and it’s going to eat him from within until he’s healed. It’s harder to do that now that he’s son has moved on but I’m sure that’s what his son would want. There are always opportunities to make amends, the first step is to stop causing more hurt and pain. I said it before and will probably say it a thousand times, making peace with my son by giving him my unconditional loving support to live his life in which ever way makes him happy was one of the best things I could do as a father. I hope others parents have the courage to do the same.
Eddie K. Wright aka Gangster turned Guru.
I want to make sure everyone has the chance to read Voice for the Silent Fathers so the first 10 to do the following by Sunday June 26th will be entered into a drawing to receive one of my first autographed copies.
1. ‘Like’ my FB page.
2. Leave an honest review on Amazon.
3. Leave a FB comment confirming that you shared your original copy of Voice for the Silent Fathers with a loved one.
The winners will be announced Sunday evening by 9 pm, PST.
1. Contestants must like/follow Author Eddie K. Wright on FB, Twitter or IG. (@eddiekwright @eddiekwrightauthor)
2. Only one entry per person.
3. Winner will be announced by 9 pm, PST Monday night.
HINT: After you post. Share your photo and ask your family and friends to hit the like button/heart. The photo with the most wins!
ALL fathers need to hear my story so…
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Click HERE and enter the code: DW54X at check out!
Buy it… Give it as a gift. Not just to YOUR father… but to ANY father you know!
Don’t forget… Fathers Day is THIS SUNDAY!
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Jun 13, 2016, 4:22 PM
The silence of turning off the radio after listening all day to the news reports of the Orlando terrorist attacks was comforting. So thankful that my son made a change in his plans because Pulse is his hang-out spot.
While sitting in front of my window seeing the Empire State building, World Trade Center, even the Statue of liberty, a million dollar view of the New York City skyline, from 7 flights up in M.D.C. Brooklyn, back fighting my case on appeal. Getting hit with 45 years was an enlightening experience to say the least, waking me up to what life’s really all about.
I wasted so many moments when I was free, worrying about stupid shit like what the hell I’m going to do when my son openly starts pledging his allegiance to that rainbow colored flag! I missed opportunities to prepare him for living in such a judgmental world. At that time, it was me, his own father being so judgmental, adding to the challenges I already knew he would confront.
And when I let go of my judgments with my loving acceptance, everything wasn’t peaches and cream. His justified anger and resentment towards me as a teenager took me on one hell of a roller coaster ride, with no seat belt, but I held on tight to the love for my son, life and God. We share a wonderful relationship because we had the time to work it out and we’re both grateful for that even with me in my current situation.
As I think about all of those victims, I wonder how many of them had thick headed fathers like myself, but didn’t have the opportunity to resolve their issues, and now won’t get a chance to right the wrong.
So for all those fathers out there with that “No son of mine” mentality, if ever there was a time to pick up that phone to burry the hatchet…it’s now. You don’t have to have all the answers, you don’t have to feel comfortable with their lifestyle, but what you have to do is let them know that in the end… None of that matters because they’re your child and you love them unconditionally, the way they love you.
It could be days, weeks, months, or years that have passed, it doesn’t matter. Send a text message of support for them during this difficult time and be grateful that their still alive to receive it. I’m sure their are plenty of fathers in Orlando Florida right now that would be willing to give anything to make peace with the loved one that was lost.
Maybe this tragedy will be your enlightening experience to put fatherhood in the proper perspective. This is not the time to drag up the pain that may have been caused in the past, we’re dealing with healing, the bottom line which is to let them know they are loved, especially by their fathers. Please trust me….it means a lot.
Eddie K. Wright (a voice for the silent fathers)
Seeing my son’s message waiting for me this morning with the subject line reading “Club Shooting” made it the first message I clicked on.
“Dad, I know you already heard about it but I just wanted to let you know I’m ok.”
I didn’t have a clue, so I typed him back saying send me the article, thinking it was just another all too familiar hate crime against the LGBTQ community. Twenty minutes later getting off the computer I noticed a crowed looking up at the television and when I joined them, I realized there was a terrorist attack at the club my son is known to frequent, leaving 50 people dead and another 53 injured.
My heart skipped a beat even already knowing my son was ok, but that inherit parental instinct took over and I needed to hear his voice. Holding my breath as I dialed his number, I was able to breath a deep sigh of relief only after he accepted my call. For some reason, my party like a rock star son changed his plans of going to club Pulse last night and decided to go home early, a miracle in and of itself.
A few weeks ago I posted about how every time I hear about a hate crime against people in the LGBTQ community, I have concerns for my son’s well being. When I received a message from a man who’s brother is gay, discussing how his father accepted and loved him unconditionally, what stood out was the fact that his father was a devout Muslim.
Although the young man responsible for this horrific crime stated his allegiance to ISIS in his distorted claim of being a Muslim, we must not allow his misguided anger and hatred reflect on how we view the Muslim community as a whole.
I’m not Muslim, and I’m not Gay, but I have Muslims friends and I’m the proud father of a homosexual son.
One of the most difficult lines I wrote in “Voice for the Silent Fathers” was admitting that as a black man, I was being prejudiced against my own flesh and blood. At one time I allowed my fears to supersede love. So let’s make sure this horrible act that derives from the fear of what’s not understood by some, doesn’t have a ripple effect in causing us to fear the Muslim community. This would only cause more separation and the true love of God reflects Unity.
Shameful acts of terror attempt to promote fear, but I’m confident that in the days and weeks to come, the caring love and support for the LGBTQ community and for humanity as a whole will once again express to the world that love always concurs fear!
To all of the parents, families and friends of the ones that lost their lives I send my deepest condolences. For those that were injured, I wish you a speedy recovery both physically and emotionally.
Eddie K. Wright aka Gangster turned Guru
Over six years ago, sitting in my cell at United States Penitentiary Canaan, drinking a fresh cup of hot instant Columbian coffee, flipping through a Hamilton book catalog, I noticed in the gay/lesbian section a book titled “The History of Homosexuality” and thought ‘this would have been a good reference book for Voice for the Silent Fathers’ which I was brainstorming at the time. My friend Paradise walked in and saw the section the catalog was open to and asked: “What’s up? You doing some research for the book about your son?”
“I’m thinking about it, not really sure if I’m going to need it but look, they got a book called “The History of Homosexuality.” I said as I passed him the catalog with my finger pointing at the specific title and small picture of the books cover.
“Well it has history, their talking about it in the bible.” he said.
“Yeah and there’s probably some interesting facts that people know nothing about that I can write about.”
“So order it Eddie.”
“Hell no!! Could you imagine at mail call with the whole Unit crowded around waiting for their names to be heard, knowing most of them are just being nosey since they haven’t received mail in years, seeing me receiving a book on Homosexuality in here of all places!!! Nah not going to happen” I said.
“That’s research for you sons book. If someone says something out their mouth, I’ll stab’em in the neck.” he said in all serious, lifting up his shirt revealing two long steal ice pick style prison shanks.
“Paradise, that’s exactly what I don’t want.”
“Man fuck that. I’m going to order the book for you in my name.”
“You don’t have to do that dice.”
“Eddie, I’m doing it. As a matter of fact, your birthday is this month, so it’s my gift. Say no more.”
One thing I knew…Paradise keeps his word, having been locked up about 15 years of a double life sentence. He’s also burnt out and knows it. He would not hesitate stabbing anyone in the neck and left the cell, walking directly to the computer with the catalog, typed in the information, printed out the money release form and it was ordered.
We knew it would take about two weeks until it was time to look out for the mail but just as we hit the two week mark, the prison went on an institutional lock down when this guy Joey, who was one of John Gotti Jr’s co-defendants was found stabbed to death.
During that lock down, mail is delivered individually to our cells so I figured at least we won’t have to go through any awkward situations when the book gets delivered. laughing to myself imagining what the correction officer that inspects the mail must have been thinking when he read the title and who it was going to. And what about the Unit officer who’s delivering it right to Paradises cell. I know I’m about to be joking Paradise about that, especially since out unit c.o. at the time was a big gay officer that had no shame about being gay either.
Well the joke ended up being on me because once Paradise received this extra big book with the title printed in huge block letters and a clearly flamboyant homosexual man on the cover…the first thing he told the big gay officer is “Take this to cell #118, it’s a birthday gift for Wright.”
I told you he’s burnt out!!
The nest thing I know is the unit officer is tapping my cell window signaling me over, as he opened the food slot.
“What’s up?” I asked
Looking at me with his goggling eye stare he said “I have a birthday present for you” as I grabbed the book he slid through the slot.
When I realized what it was, I just looked up at him, blushing a little at a loss for words and then he leaned closer to the door whispering ” You trying to tell me something?” batting his eye’s with a flirtatious smirk.
“Nah!! I’m just doing some research for a book I’m writing.”
“Sure. Right.” locking the slot winking his left eye, “Research” he said turning walking away.
Now I was the one being joked by my cell mate at that time, but I read the book front to back learning a lot of interesting things that I wrote down. As soon as we came off lock down, Paradise came to my cell asking about my birthday gift, laughing as he said “You like how I sent the book down with the C.O.?”
“Yeah Paradise, you could have waited until after we came off lock.”
“Nah, I figured you needed something to read.” he said with a funny smirk on his face, then asked “what did the c.o. say?”
“Nothing, let’s just say we shared a moment and leave it at that.” I said with a small chuckle.
It’s funny because every time I would see this officer, who used to pay no me no mind at all, nods his head and say’s “Wright.”
I just respond with my “How you doing?” and keep on moving.
This was just one of the many funny things that occurred during the process of my writing “Voice for the Silent Fathers” and wanted to share it with my readers.
Available now at http://www.voiceforthesilentfathers.com