Gangster Turned Guru Presents: Chapter Excerpt: “Esco”

I have no problem admitting that my gangster mentality stemmed from a false self-perception and lack of self-love to all the various gang members I’ve had as cellmates.  When I discuss how I’ve refused to entertain those negative thought patterns to Bloods, Crips, Gangster Disciples and Vice Lords that I’ve bunked with, most couldn’t imagine changing their lives being apart from their gang.

This was especially true for a 24-year-old Crip, from Long Island named Esco.  Short, stocky, half black and half Puerto Rican with an innocent looking baby face that has fooled plenty of people when put to the test.  He claimed to love the gang life.  He swore he knew it all, talking me to death with his gang mentality from which he perceived the world.

Every day at 3:30 p.m. as soon as the cell door locked for the count, Esco would sit up from the top bunk, where he’d spend most of the day and start to talk.

“Eddie, these guys always come to you for advice. What they can’t think on their own?”

“Actually, for a lot of us, thinking on our own is what we’re learning to do.”

“You’re learning to think on your own? Who don’t know how to do that?”

“You’d be surprised, Esco. When you don’t know who you really are, you live according to the authority of others.” I laughed thinking about my own past identify crisis. “You of all people should know that.”

“Why should I know?”

“Because you’re a Crip and have to follow whatever your OG says,” I answered.

He climbed down the latter at the end of the bed, ready to debate. “Everybody falls under the authority of somebody.  You follow the authority of these CO’s when they tell you to stand for the count,” he fired back.

“They don’t have to tell me to stand for count.”

“That’s because you’re already standing.”

“Exactly, under my own authority,” I said laying back on my bed with my hands behind my head, cradled by my pillow.

“Aren’t your followers under your authority?”

“My followers?”

“Yeah, Twin, Paradise, O, Tone, Javi and all those guys in and out of here all day asking you what to do, how to do it, and they listen because you think you’re smart from reading all those books.”

“It’s not that I think I’m smart, they trust me to give them positive advice.”

“Why don’t they ask me?” he wondered pulling his chair up along the side of my bed.

“Probably because we view things from a different perspective.”

“How’s that?”

“Esco, you’re still relatively young, trying to prove yourself in an attempt to figure out who you are.”

“Prove myself! I know how I give it up!! Ask about me! My name rings bells out in the streets!”

“I never heard of you!” I said shaking my head flashing a grin.

“That’s because you been locked up for so long! Call out on the streets and you’ll see. I bang! It’s what I do!”

“But what does it get you?”

“Respect!”

Squinting my eyebrows together I asked, “Banging gets you respect?  What are you banging for?” sitting up from my laid back position, giving him my full attention.

“For my set, my block! It’s what I do! I wasn’t a pretty boy, getting money type like you Eddie.  They call it gang banging because I bang!” he emphasized all hyped up, pounding his fist in his chest like a silverback gorilla.

“And all that banging is causing you those problems out in the streets.”

“What problems?  I’m good in my hood.”

“Esco, you sit here every night and day telling me your war stories against the Latin Kings and the Bloods.”

“Cause I give it up on those mother fuckers!”

“And they give it up on you!  The Bloods ran up on your girlfriend’s car and shot you in the leg.  The Latin Kings, shot up your baby mother’s house, thinking you were there.  Your son could have got hit.”

“That’s because they’re scared of me and know I’m a threat!”  He defended, raising up out of his chair, walking over to the cell door to stare at himself in the six magnetic mirrors I have on the door.

“Who’s scared of you?”

“They’re all scared of me!” he said, looking back over his shoulder, nodding his head.

“They’re not scared of you, simply because they’re banging on you and although you’ve gotten away, they killed your cousin Russ on his 21st birthday.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault, Esco. It’s a consequence of the lifestyle you’re choosing to live.”

“But he wasn’t banging, he was just with me all the time.”

“And somebody banged on him, for what?? Your set? The block?  Does it mean that much?”  I asked, leaving him silent for a few seconds, which is a difficult thing to do.

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

#respect

 

Excerpt, The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Resurrection

Everything I learned, revealed divine consciousness is God dwelling within and outside of us.  The good and the bad, the hot and the cold, all of it is God.  By putting things in that context, I didn’t have to know and understand everything. I was working on living with more trust and appreciation of the process by allowing moments to unfold.

I heard a story on the news which helped me stay grateful for all that I had and kept life in the proper perspective.

A young mother had just left church on Easter Sunday, in the Bronx with her family and had her young baby boy less than two years old, strapped in his car seat.

A stray bullet traveled through the back door, killing her son.

Situations like this used to be my justification for why there can’t be a God.  On what level did the Universal laws get activated to bring that experience about?  I believe God is in control. But hearing stories like that at times – wasn’t convincing.

Nia, my youngest child, was close to that same age when the story broke.  I couldn’t imagine the suffering that the family was experiencing.  I wanted that child’s life to not be a random act of violence.  I used that incident to realize how blessed I am to be able to see my daughters every week, kissing and holding them in my arms, even if it’s only for an hour in the crowded visiting room.

I’m sure that the child’s mother would change situations with me, no hesitation involved, happy to be facing 45 years, as long as her baby boy was alive.  I decided then on that I would never complain about being in prison.  I’ve experienced how important the right attitude was dealing with difficult situations that were ultimately based on your perception and faith.

“If only someone would have explained to me then, what I’ve now come to learn,” I thought, looking out on the unit, seeing impressions of myself at earlier stages in life when I had a gangster mentality, convinced I knew it all.

EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Real O.G.

“”I’ve condemned myself to hell on earth,” I thought.

Not only am I indicted for a drug conspiracy, but I was under investigation for extortion, a string of burglaries and armed robberies connected to a crooked Suffolk County cop, a group of shady lawyers and one of the Mafia’s five organized crime families.

When Erick Sermon went head first out a fourth-floor window, I was the first person called.   My crew had a reputation to dish out street justice.  There was no aspect of this gangster lifestyle I didn’t participate in.

That first year of incarceration, was one dramatic court hearing after another.  Each taking a toll on my mother. When she learned that my friends were cooperating with the government against me, she took matters into her own hands.

Mom walked quietly but carried a big stick.

My mother had a reputation of her own in the streets.

The district attorney learned that Mamma Wright was in Gestapo mode and brought it to the judge’s attention at the end of my hearing.

“Your honor, there’s one last issue I would like to address, concerning the defendant’s mother,” the prosecutor said pointing to my mother in the courtroom.

John, turned around with raised eyebrows, looking at my mom who smiled, shrugged her shoulders, listening to what was said.

“What’s your concern?” the Judge asked.

“We’ve received information that Mrs. Wright has confronted a number of potential witnesses and we would ask the Court to advise her to stop.  She’s attempting to obstruct justice.”

My mother kept smiling.

Then the Judge addressed her directly, “Mrs. Wright, although the Court does understand a mother’s love for her son, please cease contact with witnesses involved in this case.  Interfering with a federal investigation is a serious crime. Please allow your sons’ lawyer, who I’m sure has a licensed investigator, address any issues that have any significance to this case.”

“O.k.,” my mother said, nodding her head, still smiling at me as I was lead out of the courtroom.

That evening, I was unexpectedly called down for a legal visit.”

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

#theevolutionofagangsterturnedguru

#Launch2019

Living in the NOW

Aug 12, 2018, at 12:19 PM

People wonder how it is that I can cherish the moment of right NOW.

I admit it’s a learned behavior, especially in my current living conditions, back on appeal here at M.D.C. Brooklyn.

I’ve found that the key is learning to put life in the proper perspective, a perspective from which you have a choice to choose.

That’s what determines the conditions of our lives anyway, a series of choices that attracted the situation we find ourselves in NOW.

So NOW, what choices are we making?

I choose to be positive and optimistic regardless of what’s going on, and I’m faced with monumental challenges that don’t always appear to be working in my favor.

But I have this secret power of faith that I’m always able to rely on in difficult times.

Fears and worries of future events, only hijack the essence of the presence of NOW, cutting one’s self with a double-edged sword.

I choose to be happy and grateful, living in the moment of NOW because in all reality, NOW is all we have.

If I allow my mind to wander with all the should of’s, could of’s, and what if’s, I’d stress myself out, losing all the peace and poise I’ve learned not to take for granted.

I entertain a certain mental attitude of gratitude, that conforms to my spiritual system of belief, and choosing to cherish the moment of NOW positively, is a determining factor to the unfoldment of the conditions I attract to the NOW of my future.

There is an impelling creative force at work in our lives, directed by our thoughts and emotions. The choice to choose in this moment of NOW, expresses to the world who you are. If your not happy with that choice, in that same instant of NOW you can change.

The choice is always yours and always has been. Yet, when we find ourselves in undesirable conditions, accepting responsibility for our bad choices is hard to admit.

But NOW that you know, NOW you can do better, and there’s no more perfect time to apply what you NOW know then NOW!!

Eddie K. Wright, Gangster Turned Guru

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#theevolutionofagangsterturnedguru

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#eddiekwright

#mwrightgroup

#blackauthorshowcase

Pre-Introduction: The Evolution Of…

Coming in early 2019, Gangster Turned Guru Presents:  “The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru”

PRE-INTRODUCTION:

When I first sat down to write “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU,” it was the easiest 300 pages I ever wrote. Reliving the experiences of my criminal past, I wanted the reader to know that there wasn’t an aspect of this gangster lifestyle which I hadn’t participated in.

The ‘go hard or go home’, ‘get rich or die trying’, ‘feast or famine’ attitude for over 20 years had so many stories, that it was going to end up being a four book series. Fortunately, I recognized the content of what I was writing, in what would turn out to be the first three books were reading like non-fiction urban novels.

The message wasn’t corresponding to what I’m inspired to express. Although it’s who I was, it’s no longer who I choose to be and even though my intent wasn’t to glorify my gangster past, some might interpret it that way.

What if readers only buy the first three books without getting to the transformation part?

No.

Influencing anyone on the path is the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t need to build my gangster credibility with the reader. Trust me, my 45-year sentence from the United States Government as the leader of a criminal enterprise is resume enough to do that alone.

Who I thought myself to be, was not who I truly am and with the realization of life’s laws and principals, I’ve experienced how the truth is always the solutions to difficulties that I’ve been faced with. That truth lead me to change my process of thought because I’m the first to admit, I didn’t know how to think. Oh, I thought I knew it all when entertaining my gangster mentality, attempting to achieve what I expected to bring peace and happiness.

Yet the cause, which was the way I thought, didn’t correspond with the effect I was attempting to accomplish. I had no idea of the Universal laws and principals that govern life until I consciously made a decision to search for the truth.

My inner desire enlightened me to a spiritual way of living by realizing that we are immersed in a creative intelligence, an eternal goodness of unconditional love and law. The awakening to my true being, under conditions that most consider being hell on earth, is more evidence of the power we all have access to. I’ve achieved that peace and happiness which is enhanced by sharing this truth with others.

I’m not a spiritual sage or mystic. It wasn’t a beam of illumination or burning bush that woke me up late at night to tell me this spiritual truth. It was the experience of the laws and love of God that shed light on the darkness, making it clear for me to see that the darkness didn’t even exist.

Yet, as long as I continued to hold the perception and belief of being a gangster, the laws corresponding to that thought pattern created the outward experience. But the essence of who I am and who you are cannot and does not change.

The journey of life’s un-unfoldment is one of self-discovery that we each must individually experience in our own way. The importance of one’s personal experience can’t be emphasized enough since this is the foundation of your conviction in what you believe.

It’s not enough for me to say that we are all spiritual beings, unified with life, living in a Universe of creative intelligence that operates according to these Universal laws, set in motion due to the way we think, words we speak and actions we take to create our experience. That this law is God’s law of cause and effect based on an impersonal principle of being a natural law, which means that regardless if used destructively or constructively, the law will take the impression of our thoughts and attract the experience that our thinking directed it to do.

As good as that sounds, learning is not that easy. Most of us are actually bound by our creative freedom, from not consciously being aware of the influence our thinking has in creating the conditions we find ourselves experiencing.

With the law and infinite intelligence of God, there are no limits on what we can individually achieve, except the limits that we place on ourselves according to what we believe.

Spiritual knowledge of this Universal system of life brings the essence of your spiritual perfection to the surface. But until we individually make a conscious decision to challenge the false ideas held about ourselves, and analyze why our lives are in what appears to be a constant state of turmoil, then we can’t expect the habits of thoughts that created the present circumstances to attract something different in the future.

By changing my thought patterns from a gangster living in fear, being angry and frustrated with the world, to a mentality of a spiritual nature, God’s laws directed me to the right path in the choices that I make and experiences that I create. When I don’t know what to do or seem confused, I understand that there is an intelligence within me that does know and will reveal the answer, giving me this unyielding poise that I experience creating peace, harmony, and happiness that so many have trouble finding.

This understanding didn’t’ happen overnight. What’s important is that it happen and regardless of my outer situation, my inner experience of peace and love of God doesn’t change. So I teach what I’ve learned in an attempt to help others realize and recognize the divine essence of their being. I write in the modern-day language of an old all-inclusive universal truth, teaching God’s love, law and how it works according to the way we think. I keep a mental attitude of gratitude, discussing this truth that’s an antidote to the deep emotional pain and distress that so many of us suffer from.

You may not be in the dire situation that’s read about in the following pages, but the method and solutions to find peace and happiness with a meaningful life are the same.

One’s outer circumstances cannot dictate your emotional state unless you allow them to. We see this all the time with two people in the exact same environment, one is joyful and the other is miserable. The only difference between the two is the inner thoughts they choose to entertain.

This is the essence of our free will, the choice to choose how we think and what we think about. This makes all the difference in the creation of your life because you’ll experience who you think you are, even if it isn’t true. And here is where we find the unconditional love of God’s laws, allowing us to experience who we are not, in order to discover who we truly are.

I’ve created immeasurable challenges for myself, transforming them into opportunities that inspired a change that brought about “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU“.

#gangsterturnedguru

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#eddiekwright

An Open Letter to My Daughter Lexi!

Lexi

I was nervous when Drew said you wanted to talk, and passed the phone years ago. You had every right to be upset with me for not reaching out and allowing all the other drama in my life, affect our relationship.

But you were just as happy as me that we’ve reconnected, continually showing loving support.

You’ve grown into an amazing young lady, shocking me with your articulate insight and dreams of the future.

You, out of all of my children, send me the most pictures and e-mail messages (although you’ve been slacking lately) ijs.

You’ve overcome many obstacles and challenges at such a young age that there’s no doubt in my mind, you’ll achieve all your goals in the future.

I have this picture of you and Drew, hugging one another, barefoot on the beach, both with huge smiles and it reminds me of how lucky I am that you were there for each other at times when I should have been there for the both of you.

I’m blessed and grateful for having you in my life and for forgiving me so easily.

Love always, Dad.