Excerpt, Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: Chapel

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“Worry stems from a degree of fear, which is difficult to overcome because it’s how most of us are conditioned to think.”

“Conditioned to think?”  Carlos said, standing up walking over to the C.D. player and lowering the volume. “I don’t know how you were taught to think,” he said walking back over to his chair, “but I’m not conditioned or trained to think any type of way.”  Shaking his head, sitting back down.

“How did we go from praying and the spirits to how we think?” Jose asked.

“Because thinking is praying,” Paradise answered.

“Exactly!” I said, “You’re expressing your thoughts, activating the laws to attract the effect.”

“So you’re saying God has nothing to do with it?” Jose asked.

“God has everything to do with it,” I said, “because, it’s God’s law, but you’re not praying to God, you’re using the laws already established.   This is why it’s as if some people’s prayers are answered and others aren’t.  Some people know how to direct the energy using the law, depending on God’s law to bring about the result, some do it very consciously and have a strong faith and some do it unconsciously without understanding the process.”

“So what do you believe? In these laws or God and the spirits?” Jose asked, pulling his chair closer.

All eyes fell on me.

I paused again for a moment, “I understand that there is an all-wise, intelligent, all-knowing powerful Creator,” I began, “Call it God, spirits, the Universe or call it our higher power, it’s all part of us and we are part of it.”

“Now you’re part of God?” Paradise asked.

“Yes,” I said looking him dead in the face, “and so are you.  Many of the mainstream religions teach that we’re separated from God or the source of all life but that’s not true.”

“How do you know?” Carlos challenged.

“Because it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not?”

“Because a God of love wouldn’t want to be separated from her greatest creation.”

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

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An Open Letter to my Daughter Nia

Nia,

This out of all these letters is the hardest to write. You were robbed the most, as an unintentional victim of my mistakes. You of all my children, have never yet experienced me outside of the prison walls.

But you could never tell that based on the relationship we share. We can look at one another, and no words need to be spoken for us to have a clear understanding.

Last year, you looked at me and said, “WOW, you’re my dad,” and repeated emphatically, “You are my dad.” Then you gave me a big smile. Do you know that every time I look at you, every time I hear your voice, see your picture or think about you, which is all the time…that’s the exact thought that I have about you. “WOW, you’re my daughter!”

Everyone knows you’ve always had me wrapped around your pinky. I remember at an early age when you started recognizing your mesmerizing abilities over me, like a superhero coming into their unique special powers. It was when you boldly talked back to your aunt Mimi on the phone saying, “You need to talk to my father because he said I can have whatever I want!” Leading to Mimi reprimanding me about spoiling my princess.

But I could never do enough to right the wrong that my errors caused in the unforeseen consequences that have affected you. You’re a beautiful spirit with a joyful soul that has an inner strength to overcome any challenges you face.

I can write pages of all your potential and how much I love you but it’s not needed because every time we look at one another, “WE” know. There are no words that can fully express my love for you but I sum it up the best, letting you know that every time I see you, in my head I’m telling myself, “WOW, that’s my daughter!”

Love Always Daddy

An Open Letter To My Daughter Alexa

 

Alexa,

You’ve always been an added blessing in my life. I often think about the times we shared, hearing your two year old voice in my head, singing the song you made up in your car seat, after returning from one of our trips to Toys-R-us. “Eddie Papi is the best!”

 

I laugh whenever I think about when you attended Tutor time nursery school. Since only the male teacher assistant was in the class, you refused to let him take you to the bathroom. With tears in your eye’s you looked up at the teacher and said, “If you take me to the bathroom, my daddy will kill you!” Automatically triggering a call from the school.

 

I always wanted to be your protector as any father should.  I flip through our pictures from all the prison visits, seeing how much you and your sister have grown, reminding me of all that I’ve missed.

 

I’ve been the cause of many difficult challenges in your life and I apologize for that. Although you haven’t been to see me in a while, never think that my unconditional love for you will ever diminish.  You know like I know we share that unbreakable bond. You also know in your heart that….Eddie Popi is still the best!

 

Love always Daddy.