Temecula Bookwoms Interview

img_8391CLICK TO LISTEN:. Temecula Bookworms Interview

Feb 18, 2018 at 1:22 PM

I want to thank Temecula Bookworms for reading “Voice for the Silent Fathers”. With every new reader, I feel like I’ve made a new friend and I hope the feeling is the same.

1. In your book, you identify disassociation as your coping mechanism before coming to acceptance. What created the shift?

My disassociation or my detachment ended when I came to the point when I was really doing my own personal evaluation of who I am. When the suicide situation came into play, knowing that homosexual teens have the highest suicide rate, my son’s sexuality meant nothing to me. All I wanted was for him to live. I didn’t have the answers to how I would deal with his gayness, but death is final, you can’t come back from that.

2. Once you decided to accept your sons’ lifestyle how did you move towards a relationship with him and what was his initial response?

There were always small steps throughout the years. One that stands out is when I asked him if he was gay and he said “No” because he knew that’s the answer I wanted to hear, fearing my response if he told me the truth. I told him I would love him if he was but he didn’t believe that, and why should he when I mishandled other situation in the past. But when I wrote him the letters explaining I always knew he was gay and accepted him, his initial response was a little too much for me, with wanting to tell me about his boyfriends and talking to me like a friend instead of his father. I explained that to him and he respects that. We have boundaries that continue to grow more and more still.

3. What made your move successful for you?

The fact that there was nothing wrong with accepting my son. Once I chose to accept the truth of what is, there was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

4. In your book, you visit the concept of accepting relationships between parents and their gay children and the lessons you have learned the hard way. What are some of the primary lessons you have learned and how can a parent avoid those pitfalls?

I’ve learned to not judge what I don’t understand. All that stress, hurt, and feeling of disappointment were all my self-inflicted wounds because of my closed-mindedness. There’s no perfect way to avoid the pitfalls, that’s parenting. Your child knowing that their sexuality isn’t a determining factor in the relationship is the key to success.

5. As a father of a gay man, when you were targeted by your friends how did that play itself out in your life?

When my friends would joke about the possibility of my son being gay, I gave the macho gangster responses like “I’d kill him” or “I’d disown him” but he was just a kid. My friends have supported me. I’ve been congratulated for having the courage to admit I have a gay son, which is sad when you think about it.

6. How can fathers of gay men better support their sons and defend the relationships they have with their gay sons?

By making sure their sons know they have their love and support first. But then I’m still finding that I take steps to show it by asking about his current boyfriend and discussing different aspects of having a healthy relationship. Once when I called him, his boyfriend was there and I asked to speak with him. That meant a lot to my son and for his boyfriend at that time. So it’s not only saying you accept them but taking the actions to show your support.

7. A lot of people think that being Gay is a choice. What’s you’re feeling about that?

I don’t think it’s a choice. That’s like me saying, one day I choose to be heterosexual. I’ve always been straight and my son has always been gay.

8. What can we do as mothers to be more supportive of gay sons and their relationships with their fathers?

Force the fathers to read my book! But really, mothers might have to be the ones that explain to their sons that it’s the fathers who really have the problem. One reader told me that my son raised me, and on some level…he did.

9. What do you say to people who think being gay and living a gay lifestyle is sinful and we should not be accepting?

There was a time not to long ago when marriage of a different race was considered a sin and slavery wasn’t, all authorized using the bible. My God is one of unconditional love. I’ve experienced hell when I wouldn’t accept my son. I think calling the gay lifestyle “sinful” is a cop-out for those that fear change and refuse to evolve. It’s the easy way out of dealing with the reality that love knows no race or gender. Love is love.

10. Tell us about your next book series.

The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru is just what it sounds like. My spiritual journey of finding my true self, building a relationship with God and helping others to do that same.

Www.voiceforthesilentfathers.com

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Www.gangstertoguru.com

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

Feature Spotlight in P.A.R.C. Mag

Click cover to follow to my interview

I was honored to be interviewed by KC Loesener, CEO, and founder of P.A.R.C. Magazine.  

Their July 2017 issue is highlighting discovery and focus’ on subject matters where others have dug deep and discovered something about themselves and overcame or brought certain challenges to light.

My book Voice For The Silent Fathers shares how I overcame my personal challenge of being a young father and street gangster who’s son was gay. 

Please take a few minutes to read the article and share with anyone you know might benefit from reading it. I would also love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment. 

Click to purchase my book

Chattin’ it up with Ms. Jamie Timmons

jai-and-eddie

I was very excited to be asked for a follow-up interview with Ms. Jamie Timmons, Author and Owner of Matters of My Heart, an emotional support program for adult survivors of domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

This interview, more like a discussion between friends talks about Jamie’ thoughts on Voice for the Silent Fathers and how it’s impacted her life personally.  We also touch on my upcoming Gangster Turned Guru Presents series.

Grab a cup of coffee, sit back for the next 30 minutes and listen in.  Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think. “Chat It Up…”

Thank you,

Eddie K. Wright

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturnedguru

#eddiekwright

#jaitheauthor

#mattersoftheheart

Follow Up: “A Father Killed His son Because He Was Gay!”

After posting my thoughts last week in regards to the father that killed his son because he was gay, I received a response saying that his being gay wasn’t the reason and that the media is using that headline for their benefit. The information saying that father killed his son because he was gay was according to the Los Angeles district attorneys office, and if anyone knows that district attorneys make a theory with out having all the facts and then twist the facts they do have to fit their theory…It’s me.
So I may have jumped the gun by believing his son being gay was the only reason that father killed him. But it was so believable due to hearing fathers saying they would kill their son if he’s gay on such a regular basis. Yet, until we have all the facts and the true motivation behind Shehada Khailil Issa fatally shooting his son Amir Issa, I’ll leave that case alone, but I stand firm behind everything else that I posted because the fact is everyday there’s violence against the LGBTQ community.

On another note, this past week on Friday April 8th, Bruce Springsteen canceled his concert scheduled for April 10th in North Carolina because the state failed to pass legislation protecting the rights of the LGBTQ community. The North Carolina law prohibits transgender people from using bathrooms that don’t match the gender they were assigned at birth. The legislation also bans local governments from extending civil rights protections to gay and transgender people.

Now…  I’m a hip-hop head, but all walks of life have enjoyed Mr. Springsteen’s music at one time or another, especially his “Born in the USA” song.
For Bruce Springsteen and his band to have the courage to take such a strong position, has earned a great respect from me.
The message posted on his website read :
“Some things are more important than a Rock show and this fight against prejudice and bigotry which is happening as I write is one of them.” It went on to read “It is the strongest means I have for raising my voice in opposition to those who continue to push us backwards instead of forwards.”

Now I truly understand why they call Bruce Springsteen the Boss because that was a Boss move!
Corporations such as Apple, Google, and American Airlines are taking a stance in opposition to this law.  Pay Pal is switching it’s location out of North Carolina and the NBA is considering moving it’s next All-star game because f this state measure, signed by Gov. Pat McCrory (R) who praised it as needed “To stop this breach of basic privacy and etiquette.”

WOW!! I guess I shouldn’t be shocked when this past week in Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant (R) signed a law that would let businesses refuse service to gay couples based on religious objections. Talk about prejudice and bigotry!

So where as last week I addressed the concerns with the senseless violence against the LGBTQ community as a father with a son who reps that set to the fullest, addressing the civil rights are just as important because the two go hand in hand.
I don’t expect everyone’s views to change overnight, but it’s important at times to look at our past and learn form it, so that we don’t repeat it in the future. “Refusing service to gay couples based on religious objections..” That’s some 1960’s back of the bus, white’s only water fountain shit!! I know I pluck a lot of nerves in here when certain negative homophobic comments are made and i casually retort with “They used to say the same thing about blacks.” emotions get stirred claiming it’s not the same thing, but when you look at it with all honestly it is. I’m pointing that out in this weeks post, laughing with myself, realizing this is the second week as my role as “Gangster turned Gay community rights advocate!” Thanks Son!
Eddie K. Wright
#VoiceForTheSilentFathers

EXCERPT: Interview with Jamie Timmons of, Matters of My Heart. 

Jai: Did your son ever tell you eventually and how did you respond?
Eddie:  He never really had to tell me. I already knew. It was like this big pink elephant in the room and we both just ignored it as long as we could. And part of that reason is because I didn’t want to accept it at first. As a father, he looked to me to have the answers and I didn’t know how. I felt alone as a man, because this topic is so taboo. I mean, I had the love and support of my mother and sister, but they were women so it was different. Especially in the way that I was living, I mean, I was in a man’s world and I felt like my son was living in a galaxy far far away and I didn’t understand, and really didn’t want to understand at that time.

For full interview click here!