My Graduation Speech

I want to start by saying it’s an honor to be able to express myself for this ceremony.
When I first signed up for the Challenge Program, I came with an open mind to learn, but also with the lingering pre-conceived idea’s from negative things I’ve heard about the program block since I came to Canaan in 2008.

As much as my guys who were in Challenge tried to convince me to take the program, it just wasn’t my time.
But I knew that when I came over to the Challenge Program, it was with the intent to learn what I did not know to help reinforce a healthy lifestyle.

When I first heard about the tools of the program, with R.S.A.’s, the five rules of rational thinking, positive attitudes, criminal and cognitive thinking errors, it was a little intimidating. But at the same time I noticed how guys that have been in the program understood and learned them, so since I’m a pretty smart guy, I knew I’d comprehend them in time.

I came over here to challenge myself. I was excited to start my first book and proud of myself every time I handed one in on my count down to the final Transition book.

These were the goals I set for myself.
I wanted to graduate the program and become a mentor. I challenged myself to achieve these goals.

When I faced obstacles, mostly of my own creation, I used the tools that I’ve learned in the program to deal with them in a way that resulted in achieving my desired consequences.

An area in my life where the Challenge program has helped me the most is with communicating with my family, especially with my mother. She loves that I’m in this program and why wouldn’t she? Our family members and loved ones want us to do better for ourselves. I’ve found that using the program language with my mother when I notice she’s awfulizing or not being objective, or defiantly not using the 5 rules of rational thinking, I can bring it to her awareness and by attaching it to the program, she’s more receptive.

When I’ve admitted my faults while communicating with my daughters, I accepted responsibility, did the self-help up, got the feed back and then I explained that process I went through to my daughters. They respected and appreciated that I took these steps more than me just saying “I’m sorry I got upset.” This strengthens our relationship and that’s important to me.
Yes, I attribute that to what I’ve learned in this program.

Essentially it’s not about the program per se, it’s really about Challenging myself.
The program has given me a foundation of a format and structure to follow, designed to help and assist me with identifying the root cause of this prison experience I’ve created for myself.

That root cause is the way that I used to think.
My criminal thoughts were irrational, simply because they resulted in either my being in prison or death.
I knew that and still choose to entertain them.
I was blessed with prison, because I’ve now learned how to think rationally.

This did not happen over night, there were various stages of change.
For those of you who are new to the program, embrace the challenge to change.
No one expects perfection. But they do require progress in doing better with the choices and decisions that we make for ourselves. I can’t find fault with that, because I want better for myself.

When my beloved community members joke me about being “Programmed out,” I have no problem with proudly accepting that. I know who I’ve been and how my irrational thoughts attracted this 45 year sentence.
Entertaining cognitive and criminal thinking errors, do not produce my desired results.

Working on the journals, listening to seminars, and participating in the process groups helped me understand myself more and equipped me with the positive tools for my future.
I know who I am and I know all the potential I have. It’s the same potential all of you have if you choose to apply yourself by stepping up to this challenge. Please, don’t look at this as just another prison program. Look at it as an investment, investing in creating a better future for yourself.

Listen, I know that making a commitment to change is not an easy thing to do. I still and probably will always struggle with my attitudes and thinking errors, but that struggle isn’t as hard or as difficult as it used to be. I’m creating new thinking habits by thinking rationally.

In closing, I want to congratulate myself and fellow graduates whom I call the magnificent seven.
When our group first met, there were 28 of us and an individual who had previously been in the Challenge program, told us that only about 7 of us would make it up to this point.
Ironically, he was the first one that we lost from our group. But myself and Mr. Dixon automatically said, “I’m going to be one of those seven.” We set our goal and now we are both here.

We all helped one another through this process. That’s what this community is about. I’m grateful for the insight, self-discloser, feed back, and advice from all the community members and the treatment staff, Dr.Vogt, Mrs.B, Mr.Vogel, Mr.Schupper, and the true believer Mrs. Cook, thank you.

I’ll leave you with a simple quote from Jay-Z.
“Strive for what you believe in, set goals so you can achieve them!”
Jehovah!

The best Christmas in 14 years!

Dec 30, 2018 at 11:36 AM

It was way too long. 

Over a decade since I had last seen my son. 

The fault was mainly mine. 

In his later, teenage wild out years, I couldn’t and didn’t want to risk my out spoken, take no shit, quick to throw a snap back to anyone that dares to make a disrespectful under the breath comment about his lifestyle. 

He proudly defends his crown of me labeling him the gayest man on earth. 

So for him to come to visit me at Canaan, one of the most violent penitentiaries in America, wasn’t a good idea for a number of different reasons at that time. 

Our weekly phone calls would have to do. 

Christmas 2018 happened to fall on a Tuesday this year, when I get my visits here at MDC Brooklyn where I’m still waiting to hear the outcome of my appeal. 

My son, along with his sister Nia and my mother were coming to visit. 

In our recent phone conversations, I asked him not to get too emotional with the tears. 

Drew of course, sticking to his true form, denied my request. 
“I’m just a very emotional person and I won’t be able to hold it back,” said with a flamboyancy I had no choice but to accept. 

Walking through the visiting room door, a surprised lump caught my throat as I laid eyes on my son, looking like he stepped off the cover of the GQ magazine. 

While he kept his cool, it was I that was struggling to hold back the flood of tears as we embraced and I gave my son a kiss. 

The time flew by and after another strong hug and kiss goodbye, I gave the same to my mother and daughter, then doubled back for a third hug and kiss, thanking Drew for this incredible gift to end the year with.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Father/Daughter Talks… Priceless!

Dec 8, 2018 at 12:37 PM

The wailing moan of grief and distress from the phone receiver gouged at my heart. 
Weeping tears, sobs of sorrow while gasping from breath between the utterances of half spoken words, making no sense at all, caused my mind to kick into over-drive of worse case scenarios. 

“Is my mother all right?” I asked. 
No cognitive answer, more groaning and sniffles. 

“Sweetheart, calm down, take a deep breath and tell dad what’s wrong.” 
Between another fit of whimpering she managed to utter, ” I just don’t know what to do!!” 
Followed by a renewed lamentation of bawling tears. 

“Do about what, Honey?” I asked, struggling to keep a comforting tone, attempting to suppress the dramatic thoughts racing through my mind. “Please!” I begged to my 14 year old daughter Nia, “Just tell me what’s happen,” triggering another ten minute bout of groaning moans of sobs, giving way to an additional round of tears and sniffles. 

Finally she took the deep controlled breath and announced the cause of this dismal condition, “Blake moved out of state and I didn’t get to say good bye!” she cried and the water works continued. 

Blake the Snake. 
That’s what I called my daughters first little boyfriend. 

He reminded me too much of myself and that isn’t always a good thing. 
Now just like me when I kept getting in trouble in school, he got sent to another state until he got his act together.  
I can’t lie…there was that side of me that was ecstatic!! 

Blake’s little ass was finally outta here!! 
But I kept that to myself, knowing what we adults call puppy love is as real as it gets to my daughter and her broken heart. 

So in comforting daddy mode, I assured her it will be all right, allowed her to cry all she wanted, related to her hurt and pain and attempted to sooth her sadness. 
I’m glad she knows that she can always cry to me and that no matter what she will forever be daddies little girl.

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

Excerpt, The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Resurrection

Everything I learned, revealed divine consciousness is God dwelling within and outside of us.  The good and the bad, the hot and the cold, all of it is God.  By putting things in that context, I didn’t have to know and understand everything. I was working on living with more trust and appreciation of the process by allowing moments to unfold.

I heard a story on the news which helped me stay grateful for all that I had and kept life in the proper perspective.

A young mother had just left church on Easter Sunday, in the Bronx with her family and had her young baby boy less than two years old, strapped in his car seat.

A stray bullet traveled through the back door, killing her son.

Situations like this used to be my justification for why there can’t be a God.  On what level did the Universal laws get activated to bring that experience about?  I believe God is in control. But hearing stories like that at times – wasn’t convincing.

Nia, my youngest child, was close to that same age when the story broke.  I couldn’t imagine the suffering that the family was experiencing.  I wanted that child’s life to not be a random act of violence.  I used that incident to realize how blessed I am to be able to see my daughters every week, kissing and holding them in my arms, even if it’s only for an hour in the crowded visiting room.

I’m sure that the child’s mother would change situations with me, no hesitation involved, happy to be facing 45 years, as long as her baby boy was alive.  I decided then on that I would never complain about being in prison.  I’ve experienced how important the right attitude was dealing with difficult situations that were ultimately based on your perception and faith.

“If only someone would have explained to me then, what I’ve now come to learn,” I thought, looking out on the unit, seeing impressions of myself at earlier stages in life when I had a gangster mentality, convinced I knew it all.

EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru

Chapter One:  The Beginning

Eddie K. Wright

“I experienced the difference living in the black world and the white one. I was sheltered in the safe white world in the suburbs of Long Island, living on a dead end block with close-knit neighbors. Prejudice incidents still occurred with kids once in a while.  Being called a nigger was the one word I knew justified any physical beat down I dished out in childhood fights.  But I had a good healthy adventurous upbringing, riding BMX bikes, playing hide and seek, joining the boy scouts and playing soccer.

As I grew into my adolescent years, my white friends were into groups like AC/DC, Metallica, and Guns and Roses. I was into Africa Bambada, Sugar Hill gang and break dancing.

I was always encouraged to be whatever I wanted to be in life.

Get your education and the sky’s the limit.

But it wasn’t something that I believed. It sounded good when my mother would tell me but growing into a young black teenager, I held different views of life with a sense that my opportunities would be limited.

During my confused, angry, teenage years, I began getting into fights so I started selling weed, I had zero respect for authority and ended up attending five different high schools. Somehow I graduated from Central Islip High School on time in 1991.

At 18 years old, I had a newborn son named Andrew, who I was denying from my ex-girlfriend. I obtained numerous arrest and from what the principal said at the graduation ceremony, this was just the beginning of my journey in life.

I continued acting out on a path of self-destructive behaviors, thinking fighting and shootouts at clubs were cool, just to be known. When I began selling serious drugs, the way money came cemented the idea in my mind of what I wanted to do.

I heard that lifestyle would only land you in prison or the graveyard.

“It wouldn’t happen to me,” I thought.

But even when it did, after doing my time, six months in county jail, then four years in Virginia state prison, I felt so caught up in the life that I thought being a gangster was what God put me in this world to be. I was following my destiny, right off a cliff.

By 32, I was well known in the criminal underworld, connected to street gangs, drug cartels, and major mafia families. I had a house with no mortgage. My new wife was a beautiful young pregnant Columbian knock out. I was managing Erick Sermon, the legendary rap artist, and music producer, traveling the globe and making plenty of money. From the outside looking in, I was on top of the world. But my inner voice would ask “Where am I heading? When is all of this going to come crumbling down?”

Change is a powerful word. It can inflict a strong sense of fear, in those that need it the most.

When our lives have hit rock bottom, the suggestion to change is the one thing that can appear to make things even worse. As long as we live with self-destructive thought patterns and belief systems, difficult results will continue to show up in our life experiences.

I found myself asking life questions, answering them with the gangster thought system that clearly didn’t have the right answers to bring about change.

“What’s the meaning of life?”  “To get rich or die trying.”

“What brings happiness?” “Money and the things I can by with it.”

Those were the rules I lived by.”

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

#theevolutionofagangsterturnedguru

#Launch2019

Living in the NOW

Aug 12, 2018, at 12:19 PM

People wonder how it is that I can cherish the moment of right NOW.

I admit it’s a learned behavior, especially in my current living conditions, back on appeal here at M.D.C. Brooklyn.

I’ve found that the key is learning to put life in the proper perspective, a perspective from which you have a choice to choose.

That’s what determines the conditions of our lives anyway, a series of choices that attracted the situation we find ourselves in NOW.

So NOW, what choices are we making?

I choose to be positive and optimistic regardless of what’s going on, and I’m faced with monumental challenges that don’t always appear to be working in my favor.

But I have this secret power of faith that I’m always able to rely on in difficult times.

Fears and worries of future events, only hijack the essence of the presence of NOW, cutting one’s self with a double-edged sword.

I choose to be happy and grateful, living in the moment of NOW because in all reality, NOW is all we have.

If I allow my mind to wander with all the should of’s, could of’s, and what if’s, I’d stress myself out, losing all the peace and poise I’ve learned not to take for granted.

I entertain a certain mental attitude of gratitude, that conforms to my spiritual system of belief, and choosing to cherish the moment of NOW positively, is a determining factor to the unfoldment of the conditions I attract to the NOW of my future.

There is an impelling creative force at work in our lives, directed by our thoughts and emotions. The choice to choose in this moment of NOW, expresses to the world who you are. If your not happy with that choice, in that same instant of NOW you can change.

The choice is always yours and always has been. Yet, when we find ourselves in undesirable conditions, accepting responsibility for our bad choices is hard to admit.

But NOW that you know, NOW you can do better, and there’s no more perfect time to apply what you NOW know then NOW!!

Eddie K. Wright, Gangster Turned Guru

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#theevolutionofagangsterturnedguru

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#eddiekwright

#mwrightgroup

#blackauthorshowcase

An Open Letter to my Daughter Nia

Nia,

This out of all these letters is the hardest to write. You were robbed the most, as an unintentional victim of my mistakes. You of all my children, have never yet experienced me outside of the prison walls.

But you could never tell that based on the relationship we share. We can look at one another, and no words need to be spoken for us to have a clear understanding.

Last year, you looked at me and said, “WOW, you’re my dad,” and repeated emphatically, “You are my dad.” Then you gave me a big smile. Do you know that every time I look at you, every time I hear your voice, see your picture or think about you, which is all the time…that’s the exact thought that I have about you. “WOW, you’re my daughter!”

Everyone knows you’ve always had me wrapped around your pinky. I remember at an early age when you started recognizing your mesmerizing abilities over me, like a superhero coming into their unique special powers. It was when you boldly talked back to your aunt Mimi on the phone saying, “You need to talk to my father because he said I can have whatever I want!” Leading to Mimi reprimanding me about spoiling my princess.

But I could never do enough to right the wrong that my errors caused in the unforeseen consequences that have affected you. You’re a beautiful spirit with a joyful soul that has an inner strength to overcome any challenges you face.

I can write pages of all your potential and how much I love you but it’s not needed because every time we look at one another, “WE” know. There are no words that can fully express my love for you but I sum it up the best, letting you know that every time I see you, in my head I’m telling myself, “WOW, that’s my daughter!”

Love Always Daddy

An Open Letter To My Daughter Alexa

 

Alexa,

You’ve always been an added blessing in my life. I often think about the times we shared, hearing your two year old voice in my head, singing the song you made up in your car seat, after returning from one of our trips to Toys-R-us. “Eddie Papi is the best!”

 

I laugh whenever I think about when you attended Tutor time nursery school. Since only the male teacher assistant was in the class, you refused to let him take you to the bathroom. With tears in your eye’s you looked up at the teacher and said, “If you take me to the bathroom, my daddy will kill you!” Automatically triggering a call from the school.

 

I always wanted to be your protector as any father should.  I flip through our pictures from all the prison visits, seeing how much you and your sister have grown, reminding me of all that I’ve missed.

 

I’ve been the cause of many difficult challenges in your life and I apologize for that. Although you haven’t been to see me in a while, never think that my unconditional love for you will ever diminish.  You know like I know we share that unbreakable bond. You also know in your heart that….Eddie Popi is still the best!

 

Love always Daddy.

…I thought my life was over

The writing process of my memoir “Voice for the Silent Fathers” was emotionally therapeutic, making the book a personal success by helping to heal the relationship between me and my son. The readers’ comments have been and continue to be very inspirational and I’m thankful for them all.

I have a few copies of “Voice for the Silent Fathers” circulating through the prison and a list of names of those next in line waiting to read it. Who would think that a book about a father’s struggle to accept his homosexual son would be competing with all the urban hood novels so popular in the penitentiary?

Having people I don’t really know mention certain intimate parts of my life or thoughts I’ve had that at one time I never expected to share took some getting used to. Everyone has a story of a sibling, nephew or uncle in their life that’s gay and after reading “Voice for the Silent Fathers” they were able to relate with many of my struggles and came to the same conclusion of what loving unconditionally really means.

Another rewarding gift which makes the book a success, are the conversations it stirs that has lead to the launching of The Voice for the Silent Fathers Talk Radio Show which will launch later this fall.  Not everyone holds the same point of view on topics but a healthy discussion is better than staying silent. Various issues that are challenging society today will be explored. (Subscribe to the channel here:  blogtalkradio.com/voiceforthesilentfathers)

In 2017, my publisher, The M Wright Group will be releasing “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU” from the Gangster Turned Guru series, detailing my transformation upon discovering God’s unconditional love, the Universal laws, and the self-empowerment of consciously creating our experiences.

At a time when I thought my life was over, I was awakened to the truth and realized that my life had just begun. This insightful memoir is a journey of moral growth, ethical guidance and the spiritual enlightenment of a Gangster Turned Guru.

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturedguru

#eddiekwright

Chattin’ it up with Ms. Jamie Timmons

I was very excited to be asked for a follow-up interview with Ms. Jamie Timmons, Author and Owner of Matters of My Heart, an emotional support program for adult survivors of domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

This interview, more like a discussion between friends talks about Jamie’ thoughts on Voice for the Silent Fathers and how it’s impacted her life personally.  We also touch on my upcoming Gangster Turned Guru Presents series.

Grab a cup of coffee, sit back for the next 30 minutes and listen in.  Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think. “Chat It Up…”

Thank you,

Eddie K. Wright

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturnedguru

#eddiekwright

#jaitheauthor

#mattersoftheheart