Aug 22, 2016, 12:07 PM
As I wrote in “Voice for the Silent Fathers”, the acceptance of my son’s homosexual lifestyle didn’t happen overnight. There have always been steps in my development and growth. Once I acknowledged and accepted that my son was gay and let him know that I loved him none-the-less, it didn’t mean that my growth process was complete. I set limits on what I did and didn’t want to know and although my son wanted to discuss certain things with me through the years, he was able to recognize that I was still growing in my responsibilities as his father when it came to his gay lifestyle issues.
God bless him for being so sensitive and understanding. As those boundaries began to widen and expand through the years, I realized how much he valued my opinion and insight when it came to discussing relationships. That was another milestone we crossed that again made me recognize that I was making it more difficult than what it was. Drew continues to allow me to direct where the flag post go when setting the boundaries and is always congratulating me for having the courage to speak up as a father of a child in the LGBTQ community.
We correspond threw e-mails and speak once a week every Sunday at 7 p.m. and about a month ago he mentioned that he re-connected with his first true love, you know….that “One” and that he was looking forward to him coming to visit. Each week as the date for the visit approached, I could hear how excited and happy he was because things had just been going real good between him and his friend. I gave him my fatherly advice with taking it slow, don’t expect too much and don’t get distracted from all the positive things he’s been achieving ect… and he assured me he wouldn’t.
The much anticipated weekend finally arrived and he told me how great it was on our scheduled Sunday 7:00 p.m. call as he expressed that his friend was leaving in the morning.
“Where is he now?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s right inside” Drew answered while sitting on the outside porch eating and ice cream as we talked.
“Well put him on the phone” I said.
“What!?” the shock of my request was clearly evident in his tone.
“You heard what I said Drew”
After a slight 3 second pause he said “OOO-Kay” as I heard him opening the front door saying “My father wants to talk to you.”
His friend got on the phone and we had a nice pleasant conversation. He was polite, friendly, and understood when I explained that I knew he was in my son’s life in the past, but at that period of time I wasn’t to receptive to what was going on but now I look forward to meeting him. I could tell that he was shocked at our conversation, and when Drew got back on the phone he said “I can’t believe you!!” because I completely caught him by surprise.
I know that my son was proud and of course a little embarrassed as all children are when parents want to talk with their significant other at every age. This is the man that my son cares about and who makes him happy so since I care about my son’s happiness, it’s only right that I embrace whoever he chooses to share his life with. This includes his other friends also.
Honestly, I always knew this day would come but I would just block it out my mind. After getting back on the phone with Drew and sensing another breath of relief that his old man has crossed another mild stone, it made me feel happy and proud of myself for just how far I’ve come.
Eddie K. Wright