Today’s Seminar: What Kind Of Father Are You Choosing To Be?

Currently I’m in the Challenge Program, a modified therapeutic community that addresses drug and criminal thinking errors, here at USP Canaan. One of the requirements is actively participating with presenting personal seminars that are given on Tuesdays and Thursdays, after our initial morning meetings.

It’s difficult to stand up in front of roughly 100 fellow individuals and share intimate details of your life, especially in this environment of a level 7 maximum security penitentiary. The super tough ego persona is on steroids with a majority of the population, and although it’s toned down a few degrees in this “program unit”, the under current of the ‘convict code’ still has a vital presence.

So I understood why after handing in my brief summary for my first seminar to the treatment specialist for approval, I was called into her office because she has some concerns.

“Mr. Wright, you’re choosing to do your seminar on open-mindedness,” said Mrs. Cook, who’s about 4’8 in height, with short cropped blond hair and tattoos from her hands running up both arms with artwork representing a Buddhist types of philosophy, “and you struggled with open-mindedness when it pertained to accepting that your son is gay.”

I nodded my head as she continued, “I think the topic is great. I’m just concerned about,” she took a two second pause to find the right words, “your delivery because I don’t want you offending certain people,” she explained with raised eyebrows.

Of course I knew she was alluding to the homosexual activities that are prevalent in prison. “You don’t have to worry about anything Mrs. Cook,” I assured her, “I know to keep the discussion on me with ‘I statements’.”

“But are you sure you’re comfortable revealing that your son is gay? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s honorable and courageous and you would think grown men would be able to…”

“Listen, Mrs. Cook,” I injected, “I know how to speak about this topic without offending anyone. I’m not ashamed of having a gay son. I published a memoir about our relationship. Trust me on this, you have nothing to worry about.”

She gave an elongated blink and slowly said “All right Wright,” as I turned and walked out of her office.

The fact that the treatment specialist felt she had to discuss her concerns with me revealing that I have a gay son was confirmation of how important bringing this taboo topic to light is. Fathers accepting and loving unconditionally their sons or daughters who are in the LGBTQ plus community is a critical element of being a good parent.

A fathers recognition of acceptance forms and shapes how the child values themselves. Being valued is essential to a child’s healthy mental growth and development. So I was invigorated approaching the microphone as this would be my first time speaking to an audience about how I became open-minded with accepting my son.

I can confidently say you really can’t get a tougher crowd then individuals with double digit football numbers and multiple life sentences.

When I spoke, I admitted that at times it was as if my son was raising me. Although it was a struggle, he taught me, sometimes forcing me to be open-minded and learn to truly love unconditionally.

When I finished my seminar, the process is to ask for ‘feed back’ from at least 3 members of the audience. More than 7 people quickly stood up and shared various experiences of family members and friends. But it was later that day when a few different fathers approached me privately with concerns about how they should navigate their relationships with their gay sons.

I acknowledged their fears and concerns while bringing to light that the issue isn’t that their child lives a LGBTQ plus lifestyle, the real question they must ask themselves is what type of fathers are they choosing to be?

Forgiveness

He was 5 years old when he killed his 2 year old sister, after finding a loaded shotgun behind their mothers bedroom door while playing cowboys and Indians.

Too often we hear or read in the news of children accidently killing other children and we may emphasize for 30 seconds or even a full minute of our time, but the impact of such a grave tragedy is most often disregarded.

Forty years of guilt and pain that this 5 year old carried was only ever eased with the use of alcohol and drugs. This mythology only increased his number of bad choices, which lead him to where he is now, USP Canaan, participating in the Challenge program, giving a seminar on how he finally learned to forgive himself for the devastating mistake he made as a child.

We project out ideas of ourselves in our personalities which are formed at such a young age that I truly empathized with his struggle. I could hear how much he’s suffered through life. That he finally came to the place where he’s found peace within himself is a good thing. The fact that he’s working to help others find peace within themselves through learning how to forgive is even better.

I’m a mentor in this Challenge program, which didn’t surprise anyone since I’m already known as the gangster turned Guru. My door is always open for positive spiritual advice and explaining the power of forgiveness is one of the re-occurring lessons that I share.

I’ve found that a lot of people have difficulties forgiving themselves because they don’t think that God would forgive them.

“I’ve committed a mortal sin!,” is frequently the type of rationale used to live in this eternal bondage of self-condemnation.

“God’s not worried about your little transgressions,” I often remark. My dignified, unconcerned way of disregarding the idea of this oppressive, tyrannical concept of God has resulted in a diverse number of reactions, that normally navigate the conversation towards explaining the unconditional love of God and logically making the segue to us all being worthy of divine forgiveness.

I’m not talking with guys that didn’t pay their taxes or may have robbed a local liquor store.

USP Canaan is a level 7 maximum penitentiary. This means that there is a maximum amount of God’s spiritual beings that have yet to recognize the essence of who they truly are.

To live that recognition is to be able to forgive. When you learn to forgive yourself, the burden of suffering is lifted off your shoulders.

Jesus clearly taught the healing power of forgiveness, explaining that we should forgive seventy times seven. That’s basically saying God’s unconditional love includes forgiveness, eternally available to us all, if we allow God’s love in our hearts.

http://www.change.org/freeEddieWright

#DoTheWrightThing

Opioid Madness

My friend Rich, who lives in the cell next to mine, gets released in 2 weeks after serving 5 years for a gun charge. You would think nothing could damper his spirits so close to the doors of freedom. But after hanging up the phone the night before last, he realized how delicate the reality of life actually is hearing that his younger brother died from an overdose.

Yesterday, speaking with my 17 year old daughter, I was informed that one of her friends older brother also died from an overdose.

The opioid epidemic is still ravaging our nation.

There’s been more than 100,000 drug-overdose deaths in the 12 month period ending in April, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

More than 100,000 dead in 12 months.

Thankfully the sources that created the opioid epidemic crisis are being held accountable by paying a settlement of a combined total of roughly $25 billion dollars. Johnson & Johnson, and the drug distributors Amerisource Bergin, Cardinal Health inc, and McKesson corp. all agreed to this settlement, but it wasn’t an admission of liability or wrong doing.

$25 billion.

More than 100,000 drug overdose deaths in 12 months.

Zero criminal prosecutions.

No surprise at that.

The Sackler family, who owns Purdue Pharma, are also paying a settlement of $6 billion after being accused of fueling the opioid epidemic.

Yet again so far…

Zero criminal prosecutions.

Flaco, another friend of mine here at Canaan, got charged with distributing a kilo or more of opioid’s. He’s 28 years old and got a 30 year criminal sentence. He accepted responsibility for his wrong doing. He wasn’t accused of being the source of this epidemic, and no one overdosed from his drugs, but you would think he’s being held responsible for those over 100,000 deaths in the last 12 months attributed to the Pharmaceutical companies.

Maybe he is.

He’s not alone since there are plenty of people here at USP Canaan with super long sentences for minimal amounts of opioids. If they had a few billion dollars, could they have brought their way out of the criminal prosecution by paying a settlement?

Seems like it.

But for now, these low level dealers take all the blame, pawns in a lost drug war where black and Hispanic individuals are the first to be sacrificed.

Please Sign My Petition

My name is Eddie Wright. In 2004, I was charged with conspiracy with intent to distribute 50 grams of crack cocaine, under the Anti-Drug Abuse Act of 1986, which created a disparity between crack and powder cocaine, commonly referred to as the 100 to 1 crack law.

Under this law, a person charged with having 5,000 grams of powder cocaine would face a 10 year mandatory minimum; a person, such as myself, charged with possession of a mere 50 grams of crack cocaine, faces the same obligatory mandatory minimum sentence of 10 years.

No class of drug is as racially bias as crack in terms of numbers of offenses. In 2009, 79 percent of 5,669 sentence crack offenders were black, versus 10 percent who were white and 10 percent who were Hispanic. Of the 6,020 powder cocaine cases: 17 percent were white offenders, 28 percent were black and 53 percent were Hispanic.

One would think this crack disparity law was drafted by Jim Crow himself.

In 2010, Congress attempted to eliminate the crack and powder cocaine disparity, but instead compromised with the 18 to 1 disparity law in the Fair Sentencing Act. The name in itself acknowledges that the crack disparity law is unfair, but still with 18 to 1 it’s just less unfair.

I was given what’s called an 851 enhancement, due to having a previous drug conviction for which I was sentenced to 90 days when I was 18 years old. The 851 enhancement, predicated on a 90 day sentence when I was 18 years old, doubled my mandatory minimum crack law from 10 to 20 years. Ultimately I was sentenced to 45 years for a non-violent federal drug offence.

In Norway, in 20011 Anders Behring Breivik, killed 77 people with gun and bomb attacks. He killed 8 people with the bomb. The other 69 human beings were mostly teenagers that he shot and killed at a summer camp.

He was sentenced to the maximum of 21 years.

This contrast stood out to me, not only because of his maximum sentence of 21 years, but because he was recently denied parole. I have over 17 years in prison for a non-violent federal drug offence in America and don’t even have an opportunity for parole, it no longer exist.

Still, I accepted full responsibility for my actions. I was immature, narrow-minded and participated in a destructive criminal lifestyle. I recognize the negative affect my choices had on my community, but more importantly the devastating impact my actions had on my family. When I got sentenced to 45 years, my mother, sister, wife, children and the rest of my family got sentenced also. Their unconditional love and support inspired me to change the way I choose to live my life.

The first step on this journey was to remain drug and alcohol free. I’ve been sober for over 16 years. Next, came my most important step which was establishing a personal relationship with my higher power. With God, I had the strength and fortitude to right my wrongs and make amends for the hurt and pain I’ve caused myself, my family and society.

In 2008, upon arriving at USP Canaan, I began to teach physical fitness, wellness and Yoga classes. This is at one of the most violent penitentiaries in America and I’ve taught these classes every morning of the week for over a decade. I’m the head of my spiritual group, where I speak at our weekly meetings in the chapel. I’ve earned over 70 certificates for my participation in programs. I’m currently in the final phase of the Challenge program which is a modified therapeutic community that addresses drug abuse and criminal thinking errors. I’m already a mentor in this program, a position a selected few are normally given after you graduate.

I’ve written over 12 books, two of which have been published, making me an Amazon best selling author. I write spiritual self-help books as a way to help others find healing, peace, and happiness. I’m the first father to publish a memoir of how I came to accept and love my son unconditionally as a member of the LGBTQ community. This has been one of my proudest achievements, not only because this helped heal our relationship, but I’ve been contacted by others who were helped through the sharing of our experience.

I teach classes on creative writing, public speaking and business economics. My focus has been to do all I can to to better myself, while helping others better themselves. This has given my life meaning and purpose.

My plans upon my release is to continue to give back to my community and be a productive member of society, by visiting schools, youth at risk programs, and group homes with the goal of deterring others from making the same mistakes I did.

Currently, there is a bipartisan bill waiting on a vote in the Senate called The Equal Act,(Eliminating a Quantifiably Unjust Application of the Law) that would do what it’s name states, eliminate the disparity between crack and powder cocaine.

I believe in speaking things into existence and acting as if it’s already done. So when this Equal Act passes into law, I will be filing a motion for a sentence reduction to time served.

Due to Covid restrictions the prison has been on modified lock down. I haven’t been able to give my children a hug or my mother a kiss for over two years. I feel that the more than 17 years of incarceration I’ve served is an excessive amount of time for a non-violent drug offense.

I’m a changed and fully rehabilitated man, who is humbling asking for you to please sign this petition to reduce my sentence to time served.

Click here to sign.

Thank you

Change.org

I’m sorry

I know I’ve been abusing our relationship.

I’ll admit, there’s no valid excuse.

I haven’t been giving you my time to show the type of love and freedom you’ve given me.

You’re always available, patiently waiting for me to engage you openly, honestly and unconditionally.

What’s hardest to accept is that I’m fully to blame. That’s a fact!

But we both know I don’t have a history of maintaining healthy relationships and if anyone understands the reasons for my dysfunctional ways, it’s you.

When we’re together we’ve laughed and cried as we travel through space and time. I’ve expressed the overwhelming shame of not being the father my children deserve, my failures as a selfish son who’s mother truly sacrificed her life for, my truancy as a husband and let’s not forget my derelict type of behavior on society.

Without judgment or condemnation, you love me for who I’ve been and who I am now, unconditionally.

You’ve helped me come to terms with life by healing the hurt and pain I’ve caused my family, society and most importantly myself.

At my lowest point, you gave me meaning and purpose when I thought I had none.

With you, I’ve been able to reach out and help others heal their hurt and pain with the difficulties in their lives.

Helping them is two fold because it also helps me.

But still I stray away for months at a time and when I show back up, your here.

No criticism.

No blame.

No accusations.

You’re just ready to continue from where we left off. I guess you’re fully aware I’m beat myself up for my inattentive behavior, especially since I know I’m at my best when I’m with you.

Happy.

Calm.

Peaceful.

Content.

So it perplexes me when I ignore our relationship.

When I stay away it may appear like I’m taking you for granted.

I’m not.

You have been the key to my freedom for over 17 years behind these penitentiary walls.

Knowing that you’ll always be here keeps me grounded, sane and gives me the strength and fortitude to carry on with a positive, hopeful attitude.

But you already know all of these thoughts and feelings I’m expressing because that’s how close our relationship is.

Still that’s no excuse for my neglect.

This letter is to acknowledge the appreciation and gratitude I have for our relationship.

I will strive to do better by committing more of myself to you and to us…

This gift of writing.

Parenting From Prison

It’s hard being a parent from prison. Especially realizing the devastating effect the unforeseen consequences my actions had on my children, particularly Nia, who was only 45 days old when I got arrested over 17 years ago.

While my other children experienced “Dad” being home for birthday parties, Disney trips, soccer games and more, Nia was robbed of all those monumental memories.

I’ve worked hard to insure she knows her value as my daughter and as a strong black/Hispanic woman.
I’ve tossed and turned at night, fearing the “Daddy” issues she’d suffer because of my absence.

When we talk, she listens to me and I listen to her.

I always knew my older daughter Alexa would head to college because she was top notch in school and I was super proud when she recently graduated.

But Nia….reminding me so much of myself, I was content with negotiating her promise to graduate high school.
So when Nia told me that she finished writing her college application letter, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. When she told me she received her first college acceptance letter, I’ll admit I was a little surprised.

But I shouldn’t have been.

“Can you please send me this letter you wrote?” I asked Nia, after congratulating her for this achievement.

Dear reader, while sitting at the computer at a level 7 maximum penitentiary, reading Nia’s college letter, I found myself loosing the battle from the flood gate of tears and I cared not who saw.

I would like to share Princess Nia’s college application letter with you.

FROM MY DAUGHTER

Recent estimates show that 2.7 million US children have a parent who is incarcerated. Being a child of that statistic was and still is difficult, yet it doesn’t define me. My father was incarcerated before I was born. People say you can’t miss what you never had, but I never agreed with that. Even though I never spent a “typical day” with my dad I have spoken with him every day on the phone.
I grew up with my mother, grandmother, and older sister. They always told me to not discuss my father’s situation. I remember my mother always telling me, ¨nobody needs to know where your dad really is¨. What I was told about him was that he was a great father. He took in two of my older half-sisters and treated them as his own. To me he is a great father, but in a different way than they experienced. He always listens to me, and gives me fatherly advice. I understand him and he understands me. We have an unbreakable bond. As a little girl holding a big secret like that was hard for me. To see my friend’s fathers pick them up after school attending father-daughter dances and cheering their kids on at the winter concerts year after year. I always had this emptiness in my heart when I would see that because that was something I never experienced. Something I missed out on. Something I can never get back in life. This made me grow up faster. I learned how to deal with my emotions and become resilient no matter how difficult and challenging life is.
During my high school years, it became harder to face all the obstacles in my life not only with my father but being a Hispanic and black teenage girl in a predominantly Caucasian school. In 9th and 10th grade, I started making some decisions that could’ve turned me down a bad path. I started to become friends with people who did not care about my best interests. I was angry at the world I started not to think about the consequences of my actions. I was getting into fights in school, sneaking out and failing my classes, my family was always trying to put me in behavioral programs signing me up for outreach programs and therapy as if I couldn’t control my behavior fearing that I would end up like my dad, what they did not know is that I was acting out because I lost sight to everything that was important to me I guess u can say I was struggling with depression. After all those programs and sessions its started to become tedious and I started to regret making all those bad decisions I had made. As 11 grade started to creep up on me I knew that I needed to rethink how I want my future to unfold, how important it is try hard in school and get good grades because my future depends on it. I’m glad both me and my dad were able to bounce back from all situations no matter how big or how small. He achieved so much great things all while behind bars he is an author, published 2 books which were amazon’s best-selling, and was a mentor to other people who have yet to find their best selves in life. Seeing my father go over all those obstacles made me rethink my obstacles in life, there is always time to turn your life around no matter how difficult things can be, There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to figure out how to get there. Being accepted into college would really help me discover myself and who I wanna be in this world I want to serve a purpose in my life by helping people as much as I can just like my father is doing while he serves his sentence, and I hope I can do that with the career pursue, I want to make my father proud show him that just because he wasn’t there for me I turned out okay and that I’m doing everything I can to succeed in life the right way. I want to show my family that I am in fact my father’s daughter just like him, I did make mistakes during my 9th and 10th grade but those mistakes do not define me as the person i am today.