Gangster Turned Guru Presents: Chapter Excerpt: Killer Canaan

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“…I laid back down in my bed, put on my headphones to catch the local radio station news, when I heard “United States Penitentiary Canaan, is locked down due to the murder of office Erick Wilkins, by an inmate in the unit he was assigned to.”

“Oh shit P-Lee!” I shouted, shooting up out of the bed and snapping on the light.

“Yo! What’s up man?” raising from under the blanket, eyes squinting from the sudden brightness.

“We’re locked down because they killed a CO last night.”

“Get the fuck out of here, Eddie.”

“I just heard them announce it on the local news,” I said, walking over to the cell door to look out on the unit, “And the TV’s are turned off.”

“Oh shit, they’re about to put us through it.  They killed a fucking officer,” P-Lee said, shaking his head while climbing down the latter.

“I’m glad my mother brought the girls to visit last weekend because we’re about to be on lockdown for months,” I said, walking over to my locker and pulling out my bag of commissary to do a quick inventory assessment, preparing to ration out my personal food for the duration of this ordeal.

An hour later, the main unit door slammed shut and I heard the jiggling keys of the officers.  I walked over to the door and saw them loading cardboard boxes on the pushcart.

“Food trays are up P-Lee.”

“Good, I’m starving.”

Two officers were feeding the unit, coming to each cell door, unlocking the food slots and shoving in the two brown cardboard meal boxes, along with two cartons of milk.  This type of meal wouldn’t sustain a kindergartner, let along two grown men.  Watching the officers as they approached, I saw the anguish on their strained screw faces.

Rumor on prisoner.com said that allegedly, four officers that work on the compound were ordered by the shift lieutenant, to shake down an inmate named Jessie’s cell, which is a standard procedure normally done by the one officer working the unit.  For some reason, the shift Lieutenant, nicknamed “Big Show,” because he looked just like the professional wrestler, tall, overweight, bald with a thick mustache, directed the four compound officers to rip this particular cell apart, and they did.”

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Gangster Turned Guru Presents: Chapter Excerpt: “Esco”

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I have no problem admitting that my gangster mentality stemmed from a false self-perception and lack of self-love to all the various gang members I’ve had as cellmates.  When I discuss how I’ve refused to entertain those negative thought patterns to Bloods, Crips, Gangster Disciples and Vice Lords that I’ve bunked with, most couldn’t imagine changing their lives being apart from their gang.

This was especially true for a 24-year-old Crip, from Long Island named Esco.  Short, stocky, half black and half Puerto Rican with an innocent looking baby face that has fooled plenty of people when put to the test.  He claimed to love the gang life.  He swore he knew it all, talking me to death with his gang mentality from which he perceived the world.

Every day at 3:30 p.m. as soon as the cell door locked for the count, Esco would sit up from the top bunk, where he’d spend most of the day and start to talk.

“Eddie, these guys always come to you for advice. What they can’t think on their own?”

“Actually, for a lot of us, thinking on our own is what we’re learning to do.”

“You’re learning to think on your own? Who don’t know how to do that?”

“You’d be surprised, Esco. When you don’t know who you really are, you live according to the authority of others.” I laughed thinking about my own past identify crisis. “You of all people should know that.”

“Why should I know?”

“Because you’re a Crip and have to follow whatever your OG says,” I answered.

He climbed down the latter at the end of the bed, ready to debate. “Everybody falls under the authority of somebody.  You follow the authority of these CO’s when they tell you to stand for the count,” he fired back.

“They don’t have to tell me to stand for count.”

“That’s because you’re already standing.”

“Exactly, under my own authority,” I said laying back on my bed with my hands behind my head, cradled by my pillow.

“Aren’t your followers under your authority?”

“My followers?”

“Yeah, Twin, Paradise, O, Tone, Javi and all those guys in and out of here all day asking you what to do, how to do it, and they listen because you think you’re smart from reading all those books.”

“It’s not that I think I’m smart, they trust me to give them positive advice.”

“Why don’t they ask me?” he wondered pulling his chair up along the side of my bed.

“Probably because we view things from a different perspective.”

“How’s that?”

“Esco, you’re still relatively young, trying to prove yourself in an attempt to figure out who you are.”

“Prove myself! I know how I give it up!! Ask about me! My name rings bells out in the streets!”

“I never heard of you!” I said shaking my head flashing a grin.

“That’s because you been locked up for so long! Call out on the streets and you’ll see. I bang! It’s what I do!”

“But what does it get you?”

“Respect!”

Squinting my eyebrows together I asked, “Banging gets you respect?  What are you banging for?” sitting up from my laid back position, giving him my full attention.

“For my set, my block! It’s what I do! I wasn’t a pretty boy, getting money type like you Eddie.  They call it gang banging because I bang!” he emphasized all hyped up, pounding his fist in his chest like a silverback gorilla.

“And all that banging is causing you those problems out in the streets.”

“What problems?  I’m good in my hood.”

“Esco, you sit here every night and day telling me your war stories against the Latin Kings and the Bloods.”

“Cause I give it up on those mother fuckers!”

“And they give it up on you!  The Bloods ran up on your girlfriend’s car and shot you in the leg.  The Latin Kings, shot up your baby mother’s house, thinking you were there.  Your son could have got hit.”

“That’s because they’re scared of me and know I’m a threat!”  He defended, raising up out of his chair, walking over to the cell door to stare at himself in the six magnetic mirrors I have on the door.

“Who’s scared of you?”

“They’re all scared of me!” he said, looking back over his shoulder, nodding his head.

“They’re not scared of you, simply because they’re banging on you and although you’ve gotten away, they killed your cousin Russ on his 21st birthday.”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault, Esco. It’s a consequence of the lifestyle you’re choosing to live.”

“But he wasn’t banging, he was just with me all the time.”

“And somebody banged on him, for what?? Your set? The block?  Does it mean that much?”  I asked, leaving him silent for a few seconds, which is a difficult thing to do.

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

#respect

 

The Clock is Ticking

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My daughter Nia, is in her 2nd month of high school and with all the worries of drugs, drinking, and of course these no good boys….there’s another internal clock of worry ticking in my mind, one that the parents of past generations didn’t have to fathom…..the possibility of our child’s school being next in line for a mass shooting.
Last year taught us it’s not “if” there’s going to be another school shooting, but “when”.

To have to tell my 13-year-old daughter, to jump out the nearest window should she ever hear gunshots, even if she’s on the second floor, isn’t me being irrational. What’s irrational is that nothing has been done to curb the chances of it happening again. No new laws passed, no ban on automatic weapons, as a matter of fact, I haven’t heard either political party really mentioning school shootings or gun control recently and I’m an avid a.m. talk radio listener.

With the constant bombardment of breaking news, having distraction after distraction, the slaughter of our children at schools seems to be thought of like something from the past. But that alarm clocks going to rings off and the next mentally disturbed kid with easy access to an AR-15 is going to remind us that we got caught sleeping.

It’s unfortunate that the time is coming, all I can do is pray it’s not at my daughter’s school and then rest the clock since it’s bound to happen again. Tick Tock!

Let that be a reason for you to get out and VOTE!

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#eddiekwright

Excerpt, Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: Chapel

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“Worry stems from a degree of fear, which is difficult to overcome because it’s how most of us are conditioned to think.”

“Conditioned to think?”  Carlos said, standing up walking over to the C.D. player and lowering the volume. “I don’t know how you were taught to think,” he said walking back over to his chair, “but I’m not conditioned or trained to think any type of way.”  Shaking his head, sitting back down.

“How did we go from praying and the spirits to how we think?” Jose asked.

“Because thinking is praying,” Paradise answered.

“Exactly!” I said, “You’re expressing your thoughts, activating the laws to attract the effect.”

“So you’re saying God has nothing to do with it?” Jose asked.

“God has everything to do with it,” I said, “because, it’s God’s law, but you’re not praying to God, you’re using the laws already established.   This is why it’s as if some people’s prayers are answered and others aren’t.  Some people know how to direct the energy using the law, depending on God’s law to bring about the result, some do it very consciously and have a strong faith and some do it unconsciously without understanding the process.”

“So what do you believe? In these laws or God and the spirits?” Jose asked, pulling his chair closer.

All eyes fell on me.

I paused again for a moment, “I understand that there is an all-wise, intelligent, all-knowing powerful Creator,” I began, “Call it God, spirits, the Universe or call it our higher power, it’s all part of us and we are part of it.”

“Now you’re part of God?” Paradise asked.

“Yes,” I said looking him dead in the face, “and so are you.  Many of the mainstream religions teach that we’re separated from God or the source of all life but that’s not true.”

“How do you know?” Carlos challenged.

“Because it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not?”

“Because a God of love wouldn’t want to be separated from her greatest creation.”

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#eddiekwright

Gangster Turned Guru Presents: Banning Assault Weapons

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Do some Americans love automatic weapons more than their children?
In the wake of the most recent school shooting over a month ago, asking if Americans love their automatic weapons more than their kids should appear to be an illogical question, but after the elementary school shooting in Connecticut and nothing being done to ban assault weapons, who could deny the obvious truth?

Yes, some Americans love their assault weapons more than their children. I know the N.R.A. and gun advocates will say “It’s not the guns, it’s the second amendment of the constitution that we love” or “It’s not the guns, it’s the people.”

Conspiracy theorist justification for weapons of war is that any day big government can raise up to suppress the free will of the people. They act as if our United States military isn’t equipped with weapons so advanced that any automatic weapon would be as useful as a sling shot against them. They have tanks, helicopters, jets, drones and stealth bombers making that a nonsensical argument.

Let’s face reality, mass shootings aren’t even the new norm in America. The real question we should be asking ourselves is why? I’m not writing pretending to have the answer that would stop all these mass shooting. I’m making a conscious observation to what’s taking place.

Is the solution really to arm teachers, have more police officers stationed in our schools, malls, movie theaters and all shopping centers? Should we have metal detectors at every public entrance, x-raying bags and removing our shoes prior to entering all buildings?

Unfortunately, we all know there will be another mass shooting in the news and until drastic measures are taken, the killings will continue. The powerful pushback on any type of legislation for banning assault weapons is indisputable with where “the powers that be” stand.

You would think a ban against assault weapons and bump stocks, which were used in the Las Vegas massacre, would be a reasonable start. But with 89 guns to every 100 citizens in America, until there’s some type of extreme change, the result will continue to be the same.

I’m a concerned parent. I have daughters in college and in middle school. My party like a rock star son, thankfully changed his mind about going to Pulse, the same night that mass shooting occurred. There were protest, memorials, and inspiring speeches but in that same state of Florida, a mentally disturbed 18 year old was still able to walk into a gun store and purchase an AR-15.

My friends, God works for us by working through us. We can drastically reduce the number of mass shootings in America the moment the mass consciousness of Americans choose to do so. We’re currently planning and soon will be sending human beings to Mars, are we to believe that our great American minds can’t solve the problem of mass shootings?
I say American minds because America is the only country in the world that has this on going problem.

I’ve been a felon since I was 18, so I’ve never had a second amendment right, but I’ve always knew where I could buy a gun. What I could never get my hands on, as hard as I tried, were Cuban cigars.

Look, no one’s even calling for a ban on all guns. You could still have your shot guns, rifles and hand pistols. Gun owners will still be able to hunt and protect their households, it just won’t be as easy as walking into a local gun shop to buy an AR-15, should someone who’s had a bad day choose to shoot a large number of people.

Banning assault weapons won’t stop the gun violence in America, but it seems like a rational first step to impeded the damage that’s inflicted by one who’s attempting to administer a maximum amount of harm. It would be one action that let’s our children know we did something for their safety to show them their loved more than automatic weapons.

“It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.”
Moliere

Feature Spotlight in P.A.R.C. Mag

Click cover to follow to my interview

I was honored to be interviewed by KC Loesener, CEO, and founder of P.A.R.C. Magazine.  

Their July 2017 issue is highlighting discovery and focus’ on subject matters where others have dug deep and discovered something about themselves and overcame or brought certain challenges to light.

My book Voice For The Silent Fathers shares how I overcame my personal challenge of being a young father and street gangster who’s son was gay. 

Please take a few minutes to read the article and share with anyone you know might benefit from reading it. I would also love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment. 

Click to purchase my book

Chattin’ it up with Ms. Jamie Timmons

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I was very excited to be asked for a follow-up interview with Ms. Jamie Timmons, Author and Owner of Matters of My Heart, an emotional support program for adult survivors of domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

This interview, more like a discussion between friends talks about Jamie’ thoughts on Voice for the Silent Fathers and how it’s impacted her life personally.  We also touch on my upcoming Gangster Turned Guru Presents series.

Grab a cup of coffee, sit back for the next 30 minutes and listen in.  Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think. “Chat It Up…”

Thank you,

Eddie K. Wright

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturnedguru

#eddiekwright

#jaitheauthor

#mattersoftheheart