Temecula Bookwoms Interview

img_8391CLICK TO LISTEN:. Temecula Bookworms Interview

Feb 18, 2018 at 1:22 PM

I want to thank Temecula Bookworms for reading “Voice for the Silent Fathers”. With every new reader, I feel like I’ve made a new friend and I hope the feeling is the same.

1. In your book, you identify disassociation as your coping mechanism before coming to acceptance. What created the shift?

My disassociation or my detachment ended when I came to the point when I was really doing my own personal evaluation of who I am. When the suicide situation came into play, knowing that homosexual teens have the highest suicide rate, my son’s sexuality meant nothing to me. All I wanted was for him to live. I didn’t have the answers to how I would deal with his gayness, but death is final, you can’t come back from that.

2. Once you decided to accept your sons’ lifestyle how did you move towards a relationship with him and what was his initial response?

There were always small steps throughout the years. One that stands out is when I asked him if he was gay and he said “No” because he knew that’s the answer I wanted to hear, fearing my response if he told me the truth. I told him I would love him if he was but he didn’t believe that, and why should he when I mishandled other situation in the past. But when I wrote him the letters explaining I always knew he was gay and accepted him, his initial response was a little too much for me, with wanting to tell me about his boyfriends and talking to me like a friend instead of his father. I explained that to him and he respects that. We have boundaries that continue to grow more and more still.

3. What made your move successful for you?

The fact that there was nothing wrong with accepting my son. Once I chose to accept the truth of what is, there was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

4. In your book, you visit the concept of accepting relationships between parents and their gay children and the lessons you have learned the hard way. What are some of the primary lessons you have learned and how can a parent avoid those pitfalls?

I’ve learned to not judge what I don’t understand. All that stress, hurt, and feeling of disappointment were all my self-inflicted wounds because of my closed-mindedness. There’s no perfect way to avoid the pitfalls, that’s parenting. Your child knowing that their sexuality isn’t a determining factor in the relationship is the key to success.

5. As a father of a gay man, when you were targeted by your friends how did that play itself out in your life?

When my friends would joke about the possibility of my son being gay, I gave the macho gangster responses like “I’d kill him” or “I’d disown him” but he was just a kid. My friends have supported me. I’ve been congratulated for having the courage to admit I have a gay son, which is sad when you think about it.

6. How can fathers of gay men better support their sons and defend the relationships they have with their gay sons?

By making sure their sons know they have their love and support first. But then I’m still finding that I take steps to show it by asking about his current boyfriend and discussing different aspects of having a healthy relationship. Once when I called him, his boyfriend was there and I asked to speak with him. That meant a lot to my son and for his boyfriend at that time. So it’s not only saying you accept them but taking the actions to show your support.

7. A lot of people think that being Gay is a choice. What’s you’re feeling about that?

I don’t think it’s a choice. That’s like me saying, one day I choose to be heterosexual. I’ve always been straight and my son has always been gay.

8. What can we do as mothers to be more supportive of gay sons and their relationships with their fathers?

Force the fathers to read my book! But really, mothers might have to be the ones that explain to their sons that it’s the fathers who really have the problem. One reader told me that my son raised me, and on some level…he did.

9. What do you say to people who think being gay and living a gay lifestyle is sinful and we should not be accepting?

There was a time not to long ago when marriage of a different race was considered a sin and slavery wasn’t, all authorized using the bible. My God is one of unconditional love. I’ve experienced hell when I wouldn’t accept my son. I think calling the gay lifestyle “sinful” is a cop-out for those that fear change and refuse to evolve. It’s the easy way out of dealing with the reality that love knows no race or gender. Love is love.

10. Tell us about your next book series.

The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru is just what it sounds like. My spiritual journey of finding my true self, building a relationship with God and helping others to do that same.

Www.voiceforthesilentfathers.com

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Www.gangstertoguru.com

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

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The Best Birthday Gift Ever!

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My cell is considered an executive suite for two reasons. The first is that I have a direct TV shot of two out of the four 50 inch flat screens, so should I choose to I could stay up all night watching television that we listen to through our walkmans.

My celli’s love the fact that I don’t watch much TV, so when we lock in at 9:30 pm for the night, they can stack our two blue plastic chairs on top of one another, place the pillow over the backrest for a cushion and sit comfortably watching their shows.

When word spread that I don’t watch TV, offers to buy my cell started coming in. Yes, you read that right, offers to buy a prison cell. It’s one of those things you don’t hear about or see on prison shows like “Lockup,” but cells are sold all throughout the federal system.

I got this current cell the old school way. Once I saw it was empty, first thing in the morning I moved in and made the change with the counselor and that was it. There was a little fuss when those that had their eye’s on the cell woke up later to find me already comfortably moved in, but you snooze you lose, the early bird gets the worm and all that.

I wasn’t trying to hear anything about it and they defiantly didn’t want to argue with me because I was here for only a few weeks at the time and mentally I was still in a penitentiary mode that no one wanted to test.

Currently, the market value of my cell is at a one-time price between $200-$250. The Presidential suites, where you can see all four televisions go for up to $500. But the second more important reason my cell is considered an executive suite is that my 7th floor view where I spend hours gazing out at the New York city skyline has another million dollar view when I look down across the street of the Metropolitan Detention Center and see a huge one-story warehouse that runs the length of the block whose side red brick wall faces our building.

Single parking spaces the line the street, where I see correction officers coming to work, attorney’s on their way to meet with clients, mothers, wives, girlfriends, kids and friends on their way entering the building to bring an hour of freedom for a visit.

On the corner of 29th and 1st street, directly in front of my cell towards the back of the red brick wall, there is a dark burgundy aluminum structure sticking out on the side that was probably used for extra storage or deliveries.

It’s been out of commission for years since there’s no roof and a tree about eighteen feet tall growing in the middle of it, but this aluminum burgundy structure gets plenty of use.

It’s a platform of expression for us that look at it every day seeing signs from a loved one that has turned this aluminum burgundy structure into a memorial of inspirational support.

Fathers day and birthday wishes signs reading how much we’re missed and loved, balloons, flags, blown up photos and pictures drawn by children are all testimonials that help every one of us in this building during these challenging times.

It doesn’t have to be a sign specifically for us, placed by our family members, we all appreciate the effort that’s made and know that it’s our loved ones who are doing the real hard time.

Everyday family members stand across the street looking up at our darken windows waving and blowing kisses, hoping that their incarcerated loved one is looking back. I always take my nail clipper and repeatedly tap on the window acknowledging their presence, letting them know they’ve been seen and efforts are appreciated.
During the last two week lockdown when there were no visits, I saw the same mother come once each week to put up a sign and blow kisses for a full hour towards our building, letting her son know the level of love and devotion she has for him. It reminded me of my mother who’s giving me that same type of support, not only these last 13 years in prison but for each moment of my life.

I had a visit on Tuesday, October 24th, which was considered my birthday visit since I’m turning 45 on Friday the 27th. During the afternoon lock-in prior to the visiting session, I looked out at the wall seeing all the same expressions of love from the day before. An hour later, when they unlocked the doors, I rose up from my bed to prepare to get ready to hear my name called to the visiting room, extra excited to see my mother and daughter Nia.

I glanced out the window again and noticed five blue helium balloons tied up on the corner of the wall and instinctively knew it was my mother and Nia that hung them. They were both beaming with smiles when I walked into the visiting room and said, “I saw the five balloons!” as soon as I hugged them hello.

This morning, I woke up and stared at my balloons. I went and worked out, took my shower, got dressed, fixed my 2nd cup of coffee and enjoyed it sitting on my plastic chair looking down out my window seeing the three dark and two light blue birthday balloons blowing in the wind.

I’ve often written how these years in prison make me grateful for the small things in life. A handwritten letter, a thinking of you card, pictures and taking the time to visit. I’ve been blessed throughout these years to have people in my life that do all these things showing nothing but loving support.

I know in a week or so those five blue birthday balloons will be deflated, hanging by the string, fluttering in the wind against the wall, but the symbol of love that those balloons represent is everlasting and the best birthday gift I’ve ever received!

AVAILABLE NOW: Gangster Turned Guru Presents:

“A Day in the Life with Coffee and Paradise”

I am currently an inmate in a Federal Prison serving my 12th year of a 45-year sentence!  If I can find peace and happiness in this type of environment… How is it that people in the ‘free’ world can’t? What is it that I know or what woke me up? I’ve been asked these questions thousands of times and now, following a conversation I had with an inmate, who’s asked these and more,  I’m ready to share my thoughts on what I’ve learned with YOU!

This E-Book is available exclusively for Kindle at Amazon.com for .99. (FREE July 27 – 31, 2016)

I look forward to sharing my insights with you!

#gangsterturnedguru

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Gangster Turned Guru Presents:

A day in the life coverHere is an excerpt of the much-anticipated introduction to my upcoming series

**This is a quick read and will be available July 26, 2016, for .99!

INTRODUCTION

We’ve all heard various stories of spiritual sages that go off into the desert, upon a mountain top, into the wilderness or deep inside a cave for an extended period of time to gain a clear understanding of God or this thing called life. Christian monks considered it a privilege to be locked in a small damp dusty room, no bigger than a prison cell, where they are brought meals and all they do is contemplate on the words of the bible.

The Buddha sat in meditation at the edge of a stream for days until he finally reached his state of Nirvana claiming to finally be awake. Near death experiences have been said to awaken the inner realization of the true spiritual essence within.

That’s not how it happened for me. My spiritual wake-up call took place in a world of chaos and turmoil, in the school of hard knocks, where I had to finally address all my negative characteristics and traits that supported my gangster mentality in order for me to completely experience a spiritual transformation.

Order now to read the rest of this story.  Amazon.Com

 

FREE paperback for all Kobo pre-orders of e-book!

kobo-preorder

Pre-Order Voice for the Silent Fathers for Kobo eReader and receive a FREE paperback version when we go to print! ($14.99 value)

We are excited to announce that Voice for the Silent Fathers, scheduled to launch on June 1, 2016 is now available to pre-order for Kobo eReader!*

VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS is Eddie K. Wrights memoir detailing the controversial experience of being the young father of a son who would grow up to be the gayest man on the planet!  His “NO SON OF MINE!!” street gangster mentality evolves during his difficult life journey coming to realize that his responsibility as a loving father didn’t change just because his son is gay.

To receive a FREE paperback version of Voice for the Silent Fathers you need to do two simple things today.

  1.  Pre-order the e-book for Kobo eReader for only $9.99

  2. Join our mailing list

Upon release of the print version, we will contact you for your address.

Thank your for your support!

(This offer expires on Monday, February 29, 2016)

*The Voice for the Silent Fathers e-book is also available on iBooks and Nook and will be available on other retailers (Amazon Kindle, Sony Reader and PDF) soon!

FREE paperback for all Nook at Barnes & Noble pre-orders of e-book!

BarnesNoble-Preorder-300x133

Pre-Order Voice for the Silent Fathers for Nook at Barnes & Noble and receive a FREE paperback version when we go to print! ($14.99 value)

We are excited to announce that Voice for the Silent Fathers, scheduled to launch on June 1, 2016 is now available to pre-order for Nook at Barnes & Noble!*

VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS is Eddie K. Wrights memoir detailing the controversial experience of being the young father of a son who would grow up to be the gayest man on the planet!  His “NO SON OF MINE!!” street gangster mentality evolves during his difficult life journey coming to realize that his responsibility as a loving father didn’t change just because his son is gay.

To receive a FREE paperback version of Voice for the Silent Fathers you need to do two simple things today.

  1.  Pre-order the e-book for Nook at Barnes & Noble for only $9.99

  2. Join our mailing list

Upon release of the print version, we will contact you for your address.

Thank your for your support!

(This offer expires on Monday, February 29, 2016)

*The Voice for the Silent Fathers e-book is also available on iBooks and Kobo eReader and will be available on other retailers (Amazon Kindle, Sony Reader and PDF) soon

#voiceforthesilentfathers

FREE paperback for all Apple iBooks pre-orders of e-book!

iBooks-Preorder1-300x133

Pre-Order Voice for the Silent Fathers on Apple iBooks and receive a FREE paperback version when we go to print! ($14.99 value)

We are excited to announce that Voice for the Silent Fathers, scheduled to launch on June 1, 2016 is now available to pre-order on Apple iBooks!*

VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS is Eddie K. Wrights memoir detailing the controversial experience of being the young father of a son who would grow up to be the gayest man on the planet!  His “NO SON OF MINE!!” street gangster mentality evolves during his difficult life journey coming to realize that his responsibility as a loving father didn’t change just because his son is gay.

To receive a FREE paperback version of Voice for the Silent Fathers you need to do two simple things today.

  1.  Pre-order the e-book on Apple iBooks for only $9.99

  2. Join our mailing list

Upon release of the print version, we will contact you for your address.

Thank your for your support!

(This offer expires on Monday, February 29, 2016)

*The e-book is also available for the Barnes & Nobel Nook and will be availabe for other versions (Amazon Kindle, Kobo eReader, Sony Reader and PDF) soon!

#voiceforthesilentfathers