Temecula Bookwoms Interview

img_8391CLICK TO LISTEN:. Temecula Bookworms Interview

Feb 18, 2018 at 1:22 PM

I want to thank Temecula Bookworms for reading “Voice for the Silent Fathers”. With every new reader, I feel like I’ve made a new friend and I hope the feeling is the same.

1. In your book, you identify disassociation as your coping mechanism before coming to acceptance. What created the shift?

My disassociation or my detachment ended when I came to the point when I was really doing my own personal evaluation of who I am. When the suicide situation came into play, knowing that homosexual teens have the highest suicide rate, my son’s sexuality meant nothing to me. All I wanted was for him to live. I didn’t have the answers to how I would deal with his gayness, but death is final, you can’t come back from that.

2. Once you decided to accept your sons’ lifestyle how did you move towards a relationship with him and what was his initial response?

There were always small steps throughout the years. One that stands out is when I asked him if he was gay and he said “No” because he knew that’s the answer I wanted to hear, fearing my response if he told me the truth. I told him I would love him if he was but he didn’t believe that, and why should he when I mishandled other situation in the past. But when I wrote him the letters explaining I always knew he was gay and accepted him, his initial response was a little too much for me, with wanting to tell me about his boyfriends and talking to me like a friend instead of his father. I explained that to him and he respects that. We have boundaries that continue to grow more and more still.

3. What made your move successful for you?

The fact that there was nothing wrong with accepting my son. Once I chose to accept the truth of what is, there was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

4. In your book, you visit the concept of accepting relationships between parents and their gay children and the lessons you have learned the hard way. What are some of the primary lessons you have learned and how can a parent avoid those pitfalls?

I’ve learned to not judge what I don’t understand. All that stress, hurt, and feeling of disappointment were all my self-inflicted wounds because of my closed-mindedness. There’s no perfect way to avoid the pitfalls, that’s parenting. Your child knowing that their sexuality isn’t a determining factor in the relationship is the key to success.

5. As a father of a gay man, when you were targeted by your friends how did that play itself out in your life?

When my friends would joke about the possibility of my son being gay, I gave the macho gangster responses like “I’d kill him” or “I’d disown him” but he was just a kid. My friends have supported me. I’ve been congratulated for having the courage to admit I have a gay son, which is sad when you think about it.

6. How can fathers of gay men better support their sons and defend the relationships they have with their gay sons?

By making sure their sons know they have their love and support first. But then I’m still finding that I take steps to show it by asking about his current boyfriend and discussing different aspects of having a healthy relationship. Once when I called him, his boyfriend was there and I asked to speak with him. That meant a lot to my son and for his boyfriend at that time. So it’s not only saying you accept them but taking the actions to show your support.

7. A lot of people think that being Gay is a choice. What’s you’re feeling about that?

I don’t think it’s a choice. That’s like me saying, one day I choose to be heterosexual. I’ve always been straight and my son has always been gay.

8. What can we do as mothers to be more supportive of gay sons and their relationships with their fathers?

Force the fathers to read my book! But really, mothers might have to be the ones that explain to their sons that it’s the fathers who really have the problem. One reader told me that my son raised me, and on some level…he did.

9. What do you say to people who think being gay and living a gay lifestyle is sinful and we should not be accepting?

There was a time not to long ago when marriage of a different race was considered a sin and slavery wasn’t, all authorized using the bible. My God is one of unconditional love. I’ve experienced hell when I wouldn’t accept my son. I think calling the gay lifestyle “sinful” is a cop-out for those that fear change and refuse to evolve. It’s the easy way out of dealing with the reality that love knows no race or gender. Love is love.

10. Tell us about your next book series.

The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru is just what it sounds like. My spiritual journey of finding my true self, building a relationship with God and helping others to do that same.

Www.voiceforthesilentfathers.com

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Www.gangstertoguru.com

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

Advertisements

A father killed his son because he was gay!

crimescene-tape

On Friday, Shehada Khalil Issa,69, of North Hills was charged with fatally shooting his son, Amir Issa 29, outside the family’s home earlier this week because he was gay, according to the Los Angeles district attorney’s office.

Reading that a father killed his 29-year-old son because he was gay immediately caused strong mixed emotions to surge through my body. The politically correct statement would be condemning the father for such a senseless act.  Killing his son just because he’s gay… Who would ever think…. Hold up… I’d be a hypocrite to act like I never said “I’d kill my son if he was gay” and I know I’m not alone. That’s an all too common response when I tell other fathers my son is gay. “Eddie, you’re a better man than me because I would kill my son…” Although the intentions are never really there to the point where the statement is taken seriously, after reading about this tragic situation, it shines yet another spot light on how serious it is.

About a month ago I felt the urge to write something to post after reading about the trial of Elliot Morales, who taunted Mark Carson and his partner Danny Robinson, saying “What are you, gay wrestlers?” before fatally shooting Mark Carson in the face on a Greenwich Village street.  I didn’t want people to start thinking, now that I’m releasing a book addressing this issue my intent was to be some new advocate for the LGBTQ community.  I’ve written a number of manuscripts intending to debut them as spiritual self-help books branding “Gangster turned Guru”, not expecting to come out as “Gangster turned fight for the rights of the gay community spokes man.”  And I’m not that… but I would be because first and foremost I’m a concerned father, and the thing is every time I read or hear about the unprovoked violence, specifically against gay men, reoccurring fears for my own sons safety pulls at my heart. Especially with Drew’s “Accept me as I am and if you don’t well fuck you!” attitude. I’m proud that he’s always had the courage to express who he is.  It’s the ignorance of other’s and how they’ll react that terrifies me, and one of the reasons why I chose “Voice for the Silent Fathers” to be my first release. Shehada Khalil Issa, the father who couldn’t overcome his own fears and prejudices, will now have to live with the choice of murdering his son Amir Issa for the rest of his life.

Supporting parents, specifically fathers of children in the LGBTQ community allows them to let down their macho man egotistical mindset, to come and find peace with acceptance of their loved one. I’m the first to admit I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a father, but I’ve had the opportunity to ask forgiveness for the hurt and pain I’ve caused my son in order for our relationship to heal. Reading about what this father did makes me reflect on how blessed I am to have such a wonderful meaningful relationship with Drew.  It’s something that I cherish.

Now there’s going to be plenty of people that will stand in support of this father that murdered his child just because he was gay.  Pats on his back, nods of respect from those claiming they would do the same thing and that groups not exclusive to men.  I’m naturally inclined to give women the benefit of being more enlightened, but all of them aren’t.  Shehada Issa might not show any remorse now, but there will come a time when those happy memories of his son Amir begin to haunt him, especially since Amir’s not coming back.

So for those who aren’t in contact with their children, parents, or friends just because they live a lifestyle that you may not particularly agree with, take a moment to be honest with yourself in asking if you have the courage to swallow your pride by not basing your relationship according to one’s sexual preference or identity, but instead on who that person truly is.

The bottom line is… We all share the one common denominator uniting us all… LIFE, from an all-inclusive, unconditional loving God.  Let me reiterate that… From an ALL INCLUSIVE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVING GOD!!  Allow that to be the foundation to build upon when it comes to your relationships.

~Eddie K Wright, Gangster to Guru!!

Article reference:

Los Angeles father accused of killing his son with a shotgun because he is gay:  http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/la-father-accused-killing-son-gay-article-1.2586050

Murder suspect gets to torment hate crime victim in court:

http://nypost.com/2016/02/23/homophobic-killer-says-gay-man-had-the-bullet-coming-to-him/

#VoiceForTheSilentFathers

FREE paperback for all Nook at Barnes & Noble pre-orders of e-book!

BarnesNoble-Preorder-300x133

Pre-Order Voice for the Silent Fathers for Nook at Barnes & Noble and receive a FREE paperback version when we go to print! ($14.99 value)

We are excited to announce that Voice for the Silent Fathers, scheduled to launch on June 1, 2016 is now available to pre-order for Nook at Barnes & Noble!*

VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS is Eddie K. Wrights memoir detailing the controversial experience of being the young father of a son who would grow up to be the gayest man on the planet!  His “NO SON OF MINE!!” street gangster mentality evolves during his difficult life journey coming to realize that his responsibility as a loving father didn’t change just because his son is gay.

To receive a FREE paperback version of Voice for the Silent Fathers you need to do two simple things today.

  1.  Pre-order the e-book for Nook at Barnes & Noble for only $9.99

  2. Join our mailing list

Upon release of the print version, we will contact you for your address.

Thank your for your support!

(This offer expires on Monday, February 29, 2016)

*The Voice for the Silent Fathers e-book is also available on iBooks and Kobo eReader and will be available on other retailers (Amazon Kindle, Sony Reader and PDF) soon

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Press Release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Contact: Mimi Wright, Owner
Company Name:  The Wright Group, Project Management

Books Name:  Voice for the Silent Fathers
Telephone Number:  760-717-7534
Email Address:  mwrightgroup@gmail.com
Web site address:  www.eddiekwright.com

THE WRIGHT GROUP TO PUBLISH VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS

OCEANSIDE CALIFORNIA, FEBRUARY 1, 2016 – The Wright Group, Project Management, will publish VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS, Eddie K. Wrights memoir detailing the controversial experience of being the young father of a son who would grow up to be the gayest man on the planet!  His “NO SON OF MINE!!” street gangster mentality evolves during his difficult life journey coming to realize that his responsibility as a loving father didn’t change just because his son is gay. The book is scheduled for publication on June 1, 2016.

In his first memoir, Eddie shares his story of becoming a father at 18 years old who realized his son was showing ‘stereotypical’ signs of being gay while still in diapers.  Spending most of his adult life engulfed in the street gangster/hip hop culture where this subject was not only hushed, but deeply frowned upon, he gives us the voice for what’s been kept silent for far too long, confronting almost every aspect of this taboo topic.  It took years for him to silently accept his son’s homosexuality himself, regardless of all the signs.  When his son was five years old, his favorite color was pink and there was nothing Dad could do about it.  By the age of fourteen; he was an internet sensation, dancing on YouTube building his fan base to guarantee his success when performing as a drag queen a few years later.  Eddie addresses the questions most are scared to ask; Was there anything I could do to stop my son’s homosexuality? When did I know my son was gay? What made him that way?  Parents will find comfort in reading that Eddie admits that his son’s feminine behaviors embarrassed hi and he seriously contemplated abandonment, a choice that too many fathers feel they have to choose.

He shares witnessing the desperation in the eyes of fathers, from all walks of life, who have pulled him aside, away from listening ears wanting to know the answers to these frequently asked questions, agonizing the possibilities that their son might be gay.

“Wow, your voice is one that is rarely heard in this discussion and I for one am deeply appreciative for the insights you offered. My own father disowned me briefly as a teenager for being gay and like you was a man immersed in a macho world. Although he and I were never very close as he became ill and suffered the demise of cancer I was able to be there for him in a way that my other siblings couldn’t and I was able to, in the end, have a closeness with him that made all the distance between us for all those years irrelevant. Thanks for doing this.” ~Troy Lynch

Eddie has been writing for over 10 years while serving his Federal sentence for a street lifestyle that played a key role in his thought process regarding his gay son.  Using his writing and speaking skills as tools to inspire a positive way of living, this former gangster turned Guru brings his story of transformation to life in a way that makes it safe for parents and loved ones to discuss what they think and how they feel about their child living an alternative lifestyle.

###

THE WRIGHT GROUP, PROJECT MANAGEMENT provides a variety of services including book self publishing assistance.  Launched in February of 2015, The Wright Group is quickly becoming the go to resource for individuals and small companies for all of their project management needs.  For more information, visit our website at The Wright Group.

#voiceforthesilentfathers

A reminder of WHY I needed to write this book!

Today, while speaking at my weekly spiritual meeting, expressing the proud fact that I’m preparing to launch my book about being the father of a gay son who I accept and love unconditionally, I was unexpectedly interrupted…
“How the hell can you condone that!” a member of the group shouted with such hostility and anger that a wave of heat engulfed my body, igniting my adrenaline as my past gangster defense mechanisms prepared for a physical attack, recognizing the hatred in the eye’s of the one who spat the question.

Keeping my cool, I calmly responded.
“I love my son unconditionally, and I want him to be happy living his life, what ever way he chooses”.

“That’s why the world is so fucked up!!” he fired back, continuing his tirade “men are holding hands, kissing each other in public, I don’t want to see that shit and my kids shouldn’t have to see it either. It’s sick and it’s every where, on TV these dam reality shows are all promoting homosexuality.”

“Ok, I hear you” I replied ” and your free to have your opinion, it’s your right, but that same freedom applies to others also. There not affecting you so…”
“They are!! I don’t want to see that perverted shit!” he yelled.

“Hold up, there are some people that don’t like those long ass dreads your wearing, claiming there dirty and smell, so since they have an opinion about that should you be forced to cut them off?” I asked.

“That’s not the same thing” he said shaking his head with a slight sucking of his teeth.

“Not exactly” I responded “but the same argument your making because you don’t agree with the way an individual chooses to live their life, sounds similar to arguments made in the 60’s and 70’s when blacks and whites started being more open with there relationships or when a white woman kissed a black man of TV for the first time. That got a lot of people angry and you sound similar to them.”

“Here you go again Eddie, with your extreme analogies, comparing apples to oranges.”

“No, I’m trying to get you to view things from a different perspective and encourage you to have a more open mind, without being so judgmental of what you may not understand.”

“I understand. It’s wrong and I’m done talking about it.” he said looking both directions for someone to agree with him. No one did.

Changing the topic and moving on with our meeting, I thought about how some people would be against a book saying it’s all right to love your homosexual child.

When I see people on the news holding signs reading “God hates fags!”, actually spending their time painting those hurtful words, along with the hostility that was radiating from the one member of our group, it reminded me that although society as a whole has come a long way with acceptance and tolerance for the equal rights and freedom of the LGBT community, there’s still a lot of work to be done in this new coming year of 2016.

I look forward to doing my part.

Happy New year!!

#voiceforthesilentfathers

“Voice for the Silent Fathers” Introduction

I never thought I’d write a book and never a book on a topic like this, but life is funny that way. I found myself raising a son at 18 years old, still a kid myself, with a baby boy headed down that taboo highway. I was confused, frustrated, and angry at the world. “Why me?” I often thought in those early days… Why has life thrown me this crazy curve ball?
Back then it wasn’t so easy to talk to my friends about my son’s odd behavior, something’s you just didn’t talk about it. So I struggled alone, doing everything I could to stop the unstoppable.
This book is the “Voice of the Silent Father” for those going through the same thing I went through; and this is my story:
I was raised by my single white mother in the suburbs of Suffolk County, Long Island along with my sister Luvina who’s three years older than me. Our African American father played a limited role in our lives, moving back to Rochester New York, when I was two months old.
Visiting with my father a few weeks out of the summer wasn’t enough to make a big impact, let me correct that, it wasn’t enough to instill the positive impact a young black male needs.
I wanted the type of dad that all of my friends had, taking them to Yankees games, and throwing the football around, but my father never made much of an effort to be interested in my life, which looking back to those early days definitely a contributing factor for me turning to the criminal lifestyle.
I promised myself that I would be the father I needed instead of the father I had. But who would have thought that fatherhood would inflict me with a catastrophe that would have me second guessing that promise.
My son Drew was born September 20th 1990. I don’t know if homosexuality is a biological or mental condition. I never thought Drew grew up making a conscious decision to be gay, in the way other kids are making plans to be firemen, police officers, or doctors.
When I would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would tell me all the normal kid choices and never straight out said “Dad, I want to be a gay ballerina dancer!” but as a father with a keen street intuition I sensed something was having a premature influence affecting Drew.
At a very young age he started sucking his teeth and rolling his eye’s copying his mother. He would alter his voice to imitate a girlish tone and it would get on my nerves with every word spoken like the gayest stereotype on TV. This was when he was still very young, a toddler and I avoided paying too much attention to these signs for fear of re-reinforcing those flamboyant behaviors.
Around others, especially the women in Drews life, I was depicted as “Mr. Macho”… The bad guy who was “over-reacting” when I addressed and attempted to correct certain mannerisms that couldn’t be ignored.
My “Gaydar” was active watching all his behaviors for a “Gayness Alert!” which would make me rush in like the heterosexual swat team to stop whatever he was doing and make it more boyish.
Most often other adults would tell me that my son would grow out of his feminine characteristics, but what if he grew into them? No one had an answer for me to that.
I’ve read and seen a lot of media theories on what causes homosexuality, and although I’m not an expert or have a degree in psychology or some other paper certification printed and framed hanging dusty on display for all to see, I am the father of the gayest son on earth. When I say gay, I don’t mean the quiet closet type, maybe that I could have handled that but no- the son that I was meant to father was probably doing lady gaga impressions in full drag queen attire while still in his mother’s womb, born to show the world what being gay, proud and loud really meant, and lucky me, I had a front row seat.
Questions plagued my mind, searching for answers, maybe even a “cure” for my son’s condition.
Was it in his genes? I don’t remember having any gay family members on my side of the family. Was it programmed into his D.N.A.? Or was my son choosing to be gay? If so, then I should have the right to choose if I want a gay son, which of course I didn’t.
I wanted a son that grew to be a man, like me, I wanted a son that has lots of girlfriends and would one day save up three months’ salary at his very manly job and place an engagement ring on his beautiful future wife, not some… “Life Partner.”
Back then with my limited experience when you said the word gay, I would picture a pervert, infected with AIDS that’s molesting little boys, because isn’t that what homosexuals do?
In the crowd I hung out with I wasn’t the only person to think that way.
If Drew chooses that path, I’ll take whatever steps to completely relinquish any type of association with him, making him hate me.
I know what you’re thinking… How could you feel that way about your own son… Gay or not?
It was a tough mindset being a teenage Dad and learning as I went through the years and tears but I thought that would at least solve the problem
for both of us. He wouldn’t want to see me and I wouldn’t want to see him, walking around limp wrist, for all the world to see.
I was at a crossroad without a compass, with no one to advise me on such an unorthodox situation.
Don’t most fathers disassociate themselves from their child, once they find out that they’re going to like men?
I pushed back the wall of my son’s gay future with both hands, fighting, cursing, and questioning God and my sanity. I’m old school and hard headed thinking I could stop the incoming tide of change.
My experience should help any person that has someone in their life that lives differently, specifically is that person is your gay or lesbian child.
Stereotypes attached to homosexuality have a staggering effect on society. I retained many of those stereotypes, used derogatory terms, made queer jokes and laughed openly at any one living an alternative lifestyle.
But the Universe thought it appropriate to send me the situation of having a gay son.
Me… Eddie Wright… Street Entrepreneur… Ladies’ man and hustler.
The ironic point to be made here dear readers was that as a black man, I myself was being prejudiced against my own flesh and blood, and as a black man in America… That’s a hard pill to swallow and embarrassing to admit.
This book is meant to teach other Fathers and all parents of gay children the lessons I learned the hard way, and should start a discussion on having a meaningful relationship between fathers and their children that choose to live gay-straight- or somewhere in between. My voice will be silent no more.
#voiceforthesilentfathers