My Graduation Speech

I want to start by saying it’s an honor to be able to express myself for this ceremony.
When I first signed up for the Challenge Program, I came with an open mind to learn, but also with the lingering pre-conceived idea’s from negative things I’ve heard about the program block since I came to Canaan in 2008.

As much as my guys who were in Challenge tried to convince me to take the program, it just wasn’t my time.
But I knew that when I came over to the Challenge Program, it was with the intent to learn what I did not know to help reinforce a healthy lifestyle.

When I first heard about the tools of the program, with R.S.A.’s, the five rules of rational thinking, positive attitudes, criminal and cognitive thinking errors, it was a little intimidating. But at the same time I noticed how guys that have been in the program understood and learned them, so since I’m a pretty smart guy, I knew I’d comprehend them in time.

I came over here to challenge myself. I was excited to start my first book and proud of myself every time I handed one in on my count down to the final Transition book.

These were the goals I set for myself.
I wanted to graduate the program and become a mentor. I challenged myself to achieve these goals.

When I faced obstacles, mostly of my own creation, I used the tools that I’ve learned in the program to deal with them in a way that resulted in achieving my desired consequences.

An area in my life where the Challenge program has helped me the most is with communicating with my family, especially with my mother. She loves that I’m in this program and why wouldn’t she? Our family members and loved ones want us to do better for ourselves. I’ve found that using the program language with my mother when I notice she’s awfulizing or not being objective, or defiantly not using the 5 rules of rational thinking, I can bring it to her awareness and by attaching it to the program, she’s more receptive.

When I’ve admitted my faults while communicating with my daughters, I accepted responsibility, did the self-help up, got the feed back and then I explained that process I went through to my daughters. They respected and appreciated that I took these steps more than me just saying “I’m sorry I got upset.” This strengthens our relationship and that’s important to me.
Yes, I attribute that to what I’ve learned in this program.

Essentially it’s not about the program per se, it’s really about Challenging myself.
The program has given me a foundation of a format and structure to follow, designed to help and assist me with identifying the root cause of this prison experience I’ve created for myself.

That root cause is the way that I used to think.
My criminal thoughts were irrational, simply because they resulted in either my being in prison or death.
I knew that and still choose to entertain them.
I was blessed with prison, because I’ve now learned how to think rationally.

This did not happen over night, there were various stages of change.
For those of you who are new to the program, embrace the challenge to change.
No one expects perfection. But they do require progress in doing better with the choices and decisions that we make for ourselves. I can’t find fault with that, because I want better for myself.

When my beloved community members joke me about being “Programmed out,” I have no problem with proudly accepting that. I know who I’ve been and how my irrational thoughts attracted this 45 year sentence.
Entertaining cognitive and criminal thinking errors, do not produce my desired results.

Working on the journals, listening to seminars, and participating in the process groups helped me understand myself more and equipped me with the positive tools for my future.
I know who I am and I know all the potential I have. It’s the same potential all of you have if you choose to apply yourself by stepping up to this challenge. Please, don’t look at this as just another prison program. Look at it as an investment, investing in creating a better future for yourself.

Listen, I know that making a commitment to change is not an easy thing to do. I still and probably will always struggle with my attitudes and thinking errors, but that struggle isn’t as hard or as difficult as it used to be. I’m creating new thinking habits by thinking rationally.

In closing, I want to congratulate myself and fellow graduates whom I call the magnificent seven.
When our group first met, there were 28 of us and an individual who had previously been in the Challenge program, told us that only about 7 of us would make it up to this point.
Ironically, he was the first one that we lost from our group. But myself and Mr. Dixon automatically said, “I’m going to be one of those seven.” We set our goal and now we are both here.

We all helped one another through this process. That’s what this community is about. I’m grateful for the insight, self-discloser, feed back, and advice from all the community members and the treatment staff, Dr.Vogt, Mrs.B, Mr.Vogel, Mr.Schupper, and the true believer Mrs. Cook, thank you.

I’ll leave you with a simple quote from Jay-Z.
“Strive for what you believe in, set goals so you can achieve them!”
Jehovah!

God Is Good

Since my spiritual comprehension isn’t adequate enough to where I believe I can fly, I don’t jump off of buildings.
My understanding isn’t such where it makes it possible for me to walk through a brick wall, so I use the door.

One of the reasons I have a solid spiritual conviction of the Universal laws and Principals that I’m comfortable with accepting that there are some things I don’t know about the Intelligent Source of Life.

Going as far as that which I spiritually understand, is what resonates and solidifies the truth that resides in me.
The Universal laws are limitless and the Principals of life are infinite.

I’m not intimidated or discouraged when attempts are made to challenge my co/creation relationship with God.
“Why don’t you create your way out of prison Mr. Guru?”

Idle efforts to cast doubt on what I know to be true are made by those who attempt to throw me off my path, instead of walking along with me.

I generously accept their not-knowingness, often replying with only a pleasant smile. But for others, that’s not enough so I’ve admitted, “I don’t have the same degree of spiritual awareness at Jesus, but if I did, I would walk on water.”

I don’t spend my time complaining about why certain things don’t work.
I apply what does work and experience the benefits from that.

You see, when it’s a co/creation relationship and you’ve done your creative part, the how and when is up to God.
I’m cool with that.

Just knowing I’m ONE with the Universe gives me the patience, faith, and trust that answers my prayers.
Sometimes that answer is NO!
Only when it’s not in alignment with the bigger picture that God and I are in the process of creating.
I’ve realized that through countless personal experiences.

By understanding the Universal law and it’s absolute Principals, I remain calm throughout the storm and maintain my peace in the mist of what appears to be chaos.

Don’t get me wrong, at times, I still ride that rollercoaster of emotions. Yet after a few deep breaths or a moment of meditation, I no longer react I respond in the most positive way I can.
This is how I achieve my most desirable result.

What I want for myself, I want for others. This is the principal of Unity, ultimately manifesting the goodness of life, because

God is good!

Today’s Seminar: What Kind Of Father Are You Choosing To Be?

Currently I’m in the Challenge Program, a modified therapeutic community that addresses drug and criminal thinking errors, here at USP Canaan. One of the requirements is actively participating with presenting personal seminars that are given on Tuesdays and Thursdays, after our initial morning meetings.

It’s difficult to stand up in front of roughly 100 fellow individuals and share intimate details of your life, especially in this environment of a level 7 maximum security penitentiary. The super tough ego persona is on steroids with a majority of the population, and although it’s toned down a few degrees in this “program unit”, the under current of the ‘convict code’ still has a vital presence.

So I understood why after handing in my brief summary for my first seminar to the treatment specialist for approval, I was called into her office because she has some concerns.

“Mr. Wright, you’re choosing to do your seminar on open-mindedness,” said Mrs. Cook, who’s about 4’8 in height, with short cropped blond hair and tattoos from her hands running up both arms with artwork representing a Buddhist types of philosophy, “and you struggled with open-mindedness when it pertained to accepting that your son is gay.”

I nodded my head as she continued, “I think the topic is great. I’m just concerned about,” she took a two second pause to find the right words, “your delivery because I don’t want you offending certain people,” she explained with raised eyebrows.

Of course I knew she was alluding to the homosexual activities that are prevalent in prison. “You don’t have to worry about anything Mrs. Cook,” I assured her, “I know to keep the discussion on me with ‘I statements’.”

“But are you sure you’re comfortable revealing that your son is gay? Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s honorable and courageous and you would think grown men would be able to…”

“Listen, Mrs. Cook,” I injected, “I know how to speak about this topic without offending anyone. I’m not ashamed of having a gay son. I published a memoir about our relationship. Trust me on this, you have nothing to worry about.”

She gave an elongated blink and slowly said “All right Wright,” as I turned and walked out of her office.

The fact that the treatment specialist felt she had to discuss her concerns with me revealing that I have a gay son was confirmation of how important bringing this taboo topic to light is. Fathers accepting and loving unconditionally their sons or daughters who are in the LGBTQ plus community is a critical element of being a good parent.

A fathers recognition of acceptance forms and shapes how the child values themselves. Being valued is essential to a child’s healthy mental growth and development. So I was invigorated approaching the microphone as this would be my first time speaking to an audience about how I became open-minded with accepting my son.

I can confidently say you really can’t get a tougher crowd then individuals with double digit football numbers and multiple life sentences.

When I spoke, I admitted that at times it was as if my son was raising me. Although it was a struggle, he taught me, sometimes forcing me to be open-minded and learn to truly love unconditionally.

When I finished my seminar, the process is to ask for ‘feed back’ from at least 3 members of the audience. More than 7 people quickly stood up and shared various experiences of family members and friends. But it was later that day when a few different fathers approached me privately with concerns about how they should navigate their relationships with their gay sons.

I acknowledged their fears and concerns while bringing to light that the issue isn’t that their child lives a LGBTQ plus lifestyle, the real question they must ask themselves is what type of fathers are they choosing to be?

Parenting From Prison

It’s hard being a parent from prison. Especially realizing the devastating effect the unforeseen consequences my actions had on my children, particularly Nia, who was only 45 days old when I got arrested over 17 years ago.

While my other children experienced “Dad” being home for birthday parties, Disney trips, soccer games and more, Nia was robbed of all those monumental memories.

I’ve worked hard to insure she knows her value as my daughter and as a strong black/Hispanic woman.
I’ve tossed and turned at night, fearing the “Daddy” issues she’d suffer because of my absence.

When we talk, she listens to me and I listen to her.

I always knew my older daughter Alexa would head to college because she was top notch in school and I was super proud when she recently graduated.

But Nia….reminding me so much of myself, I was content with negotiating her promise to graduate high school.
So when Nia told me that she finished writing her college application letter, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. When she told me she received her first college acceptance letter, I’ll admit I was a little surprised.

But I shouldn’t have been.

“Can you please send me this letter you wrote?” I asked Nia, after congratulating her for this achievement.

Dear reader, while sitting at the computer at a level 7 maximum penitentiary, reading Nia’s college letter, I found myself loosing the battle from the flood gate of tears and I cared not who saw.

I would like to share Princess Nia’s college application letter with you.

FROM MY DAUGHTER

Recent estimates show that 2.7 million US children have a parent who is incarcerated. Being a child of that statistic was and still is difficult, yet it doesn’t define me. My father was incarcerated before I was born. People say you can’t miss what you never had, but I never agreed with that. Even though I never spent a “typical day” with my dad I have spoken with him every day on the phone.
I grew up with my mother, grandmother, and older sister. They always told me to not discuss my father’s situation. I remember my mother always telling me, ¨nobody needs to know where your dad really is¨. What I was told about him was that he was a great father. He took in two of my older half-sisters and treated them as his own. To me he is a great father, but in a different way than they experienced. He always listens to me, and gives me fatherly advice. I understand him and he understands me. We have an unbreakable bond. As a little girl holding a big secret like that was hard for me. To see my friend’s fathers pick them up after school attending father-daughter dances and cheering their kids on at the winter concerts year after year. I always had this emptiness in my heart when I would see that because that was something I never experienced. Something I missed out on. Something I can never get back in life. This made me grow up faster. I learned how to deal with my emotions and become resilient no matter how difficult and challenging life is.
During my high school years, it became harder to face all the obstacles in my life not only with my father but being a Hispanic and black teenage girl in a predominantly Caucasian school. In 9th and 10th grade, I started making some decisions that could’ve turned me down a bad path. I started to become friends with people who did not care about my best interests. I was angry at the world I started not to think about the consequences of my actions. I was getting into fights in school, sneaking out and failing my classes, my family was always trying to put me in behavioral programs signing me up for outreach programs and therapy as if I couldn’t control my behavior fearing that I would end up like my dad, what they did not know is that I was acting out because I lost sight to everything that was important to me I guess u can say I was struggling with depression. After all those programs and sessions its started to become tedious and I started to regret making all those bad decisions I had made. As 11 grade started to creep up on me I knew that I needed to rethink how I want my future to unfold, how important it is try hard in school and get good grades because my future depends on it. I’m glad both me and my dad were able to bounce back from all situations no matter how big or how small. He achieved so much great things all while behind bars he is an author, published 2 books which were amazon’s best-selling, and was a mentor to other people who have yet to find their best selves in life. Seeing my father go over all those obstacles made me rethink my obstacles in life, there is always time to turn your life around no matter how difficult things can be, There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to figure out how to get there. Being accepted into college would really help me discover myself and who I wanna be in this world I want to serve a purpose in my life by helping people as much as I can just like my father is doing while he serves his sentence, and I hope I can do that with the career pursue, I want to make my father proud show him that just because he wasn’t there for me I turned out okay and that I’m doing everything I can to succeed in life the right way. I want to show my family that I am in fact my father’s daughter just like him, I did make mistakes during my 9th and 10th grade but those mistakes do not define me as the person i am today.

Gangster Turned Guru Presents: ‘And so it begins!’

This young Haitian guy Stevie, but calling himself Hyena, came back to the unit after spending 40 days in the hole.

He’s 21 years old but when I tell you he looks like he’s 12, I mean it. He’s shorter than my 13 year old daughter and weighs about 100 pound soaking wet. If we were free in the world together, I’d take him right to my Princesses middle school to beat up all the little boys that want to be her boyfriend.

Hold up, that was the over protective father, triggering my past gangster mentality taking over.

Anyway, Hyena lost his mother in the earthquake that devastated Haiti and came to live with his uncle in Brooklyn. It didn’t take long for the lure of the streets to take hold and he’s since found himself as a member of the Cripps.

Charged with armed robbery, the Feds offered him 10 years on a plea deal.

He came to my cell, asking me for advice.

“Eddie, ten years is like life,” he said with his strong Haitian creo accent.

“That’s how it seems now, but your young, you’ll be all right. Take that!”

“You say that like it’s nothing because you have over 13 years in already.”

“No” I corrected, “I say it like it’s a good deal and if you think about going to trial, they’ll knock your head off with twenty years or more.”

“Well, I’ll go to trial and they’ll have to give me that!” He said.

I’ve heard this argument many times before and I recognize it as the fear talking.

I also understand that he’s looking towards me for advice because he’s scared for his life.

“Hyena, your running around on gang time. You just got out the hole and your chasing the next high smoking all that K-2.”

“I been a Crip before I came to the Feds and I’m Cripping until that day I die. I get high all day cause there’s nothing else to do.”

“There’s plenty to do. Your not making the choices to do it.” I said continuing, “You have to want better for yourself and that means you’ll have to do change.”

“Change for what? They want to give me 10 years!!” He said leaning forward in the chair, running his hands through his mini-afro.

“First of all, if you start changing now, you won’t loose your good time and you’ll be home in like eight years.”

“Eight years!!”

“Listen, this is what comes with the lifestyle your choosing, so get used to it. You want to be a gangster, bust your gun, wave your flag while throwing your little hand signs, then be prepare to do more time after that because you’ll either be killed or come back to prison, those are the consequences.”

“I want like two or three years,” he said like he didn’t hear what I just told him.

“That’s easy to say but the way your thinking and the actions your taking in here are attracting a different result. Take that little bitty 10 years, hopefully it will be enough time for you to wake up and live your true potential.”

Standing up, offering his hand, shaking his head he said, “Man, you say take 10 years like it’s nothing. I can’t hear that right now.”

“You don’t want to hear it, but I speak the truth to the youth!” I said as he turned and walked out my cell.

As much as I would like to grab Hyena, sit him back in the chair and talk to him until he’s ready to change, I know that he has to want better for himself first.

He has no idea that the patterns of thoughts he’s entertaining are setting the laws of attraction in motion to draw his experiences.

He’s convinced himself that he’s a Crip in his mind and speaks without understanding that our words have the power to become the results of what’s spoken. Hyena can’t see the logical conclusions of the path he’s currently on and when I was his age, neither could I.

I try to discourage those headed on that path, but in the mist of doing time, it’s a difficult barrier to conquer.

Instead of focusing on how much time I’ve done or have to do, I pay attention to what I’ve accomplished and my future goals.

Right before we locked in that night, I passed Hyena my “Day in the life with coffee and Paradise” book.

He gave it back this morning, having finished it since it’s only 30 pages.

“Does life really work like that?” he asked.

“That’s a question you should be able to answer if your honest with yourself. Think back to how you were thinking in the past and what lead to where you are now.”

“I like the way you break all that down with the laws and principals. Do you have something else to read?”

“Of course.”

And so it begins.

 

#eddiekwright

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturnedguru

#fathersonrelationships

#unconditionallove

#inmateauthors

#blackauthors

#mwrightgroup

Temecula Bookwoms Interview

CLICK TO LISTEN:. Temecula Bookworms Interview

Feb 18, 2018 at 1:22 PM

I want to thank Temecula Bookworms for reading “Voice for the Silent Fathers”. With every new reader, I feel like I’ve made a new friend and I hope the feeling is the same.

1. In your book, you identify disassociation as your coping mechanism before coming to acceptance. What created the shift?

My disassociation or my detachment ended when I came to the point when I was really doing my own personal evaluation of who I am. When the suicide situation came into play, knowing that homosexual teens have the highest suicide rate, my son’s sexuality meant nothing to me. All I wanted was for him to live. I didn’t have the answers to how I would deal with his gayness, but death is final, you can’t come back from that.

2. Once you decided to accept your sons’ lifestyle how did you move towards a relationship with him and what was his initial response?

There were always small steps throughout the years. One that stands out is when I asked him if he was gay and he said “No” because he knew that’s the answer I wanted to hear, fearing my response if he told me the truth. I told him I would love him if he was but he didn’t believe that, and why should he when I mishandled other situation in the past. But when I wrote him the letters explaining I always knew he was gay and accepted him, his initial response was a little too much for me, with wanting to tell me about his boyfriends and talking to me like a friend instead of his father. I explained that to him and he respects that. We have boundaries that continue to grow more and more still.

3. What made your move successful for you?

The fact that there was nothing wrong with accepting my son. Once I chose to accept the truth of what is, there was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

4. In your book, you visit the concept of accepting relationships between parents and their gay children and the lessons you have learned the hard way. What are some of the primary lessons you have learned and how can a parent avoid those pitfalls?

I’ve learned to not judge what I don’t understand. All that stress, hurt, and feeling of disappointment were all my self-inflicted wounds because of my closed-mindedness. There’s no perfect way to avoid the pitfalls, that’s parenting. Your child knowing that their sexuality isn’t a determining factor in the relationship is the key to success.

5. As a father of a gay man, when you were targeted by your friends how did that play itself out in your life?

When my friends would joke about the possibility of my son being gay, I gave the macho gangster responses like “I’d kill him” or “I’d disown him” but he was just a kid. My friends have supported me. I’ve been congratulated for having the courage to admit I have a gay son, which is sad when you think about it.

6. How can fathers of gay men better support their sons and defend the relationships they have with their gay sons?

By making sure their sons know they have their love and support first. But then I’m still finding that I take steps to show it by asking about his current boyfriend and discussing different aspects of having a healthy relationship. Once when I called him, his boyfriend was there and I asked to speak with him. That meant a lot to my son and for his boyfriend at that time. So it’s not only saying you accept them but taking the actions to show your support.

7. A lot of people think that being Gay is a choice. What’s you’re feeling about that?

I don’t think it’s a choice. That’s like me saying, one day I choose to be heterosexual. I’ve always been straight and my son has always been gay.

8. What can we do as mothers to be more supportive of gay sons and their relationships with their fathers?

Force the fathers to read my book! But really, mothers might have to be the ones that explain to their sons that it’s the fathers who really have the problem. One reader told me that my son raised me, and on some level…he did.

9. What do you say to people who think being gay and living a gay lifestyle is sinful and we should not be accepting?

There was a time not to long ago when marriage of a different race was considered a sin and slavery wasn’t, all authorized using the bible. My God is one of unconditional love. I’ve experienced hell when I wouldn’t accept my son. I think calling the gay lifestyle “sinful” is a cop-out for those that fear change and refuse to evolve. It’s the easy way out of dealing with the reality that love knows no race or gender. Love is love.

10. Tell us about your next book series.

The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru is just what it sounds like. My spiritual journey of finding my true self, building a relationship with God and helping others to do that same.

Www.voiceforthesilentfathers.com

#voiceforthesilentfathers

Www.gangstertoguru.com

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

The Best Birthday Gift Ever!

My cell is considered an executive suite for two reasons. The first is that I have a direct TV shot of two out of the four 50 inch flat screens, so should I choose to I could stay up all night watching television that we listen to through our walkmans.

My celli’s love the fact that I don’t watch much TV, so when we lock in at 9:30 pm for the night, they can stack our two blue plastic chairs on top of one another, place the pillow over the backrest for a cushion and sit comfortably watching their shows.

When word spread that I don’t watch TV, offers to buy my cell started coming in. Yes, you read that right, offers to buy a prison cell. It’s one of those things you don’t hear about or see on prison shows like “Lockup,” but cells are sold all throughout the federal system.

I got this current cell the old school way. Once I saw it was empty, first thing in the morning I moved in and made the change with the counselor and that was it. There was a little fuss when those that had their eye’s on the cell woke up later to find me already comfortably moved in, but you snooze you lose, the early bird gets the worm and all that.

I wasn’t trying to hear anything about it and they defiantly didn’t want to argue with me because I was here for only a few weeks at the time and mentally I was still in a penitentiary mode that no one wanted to test.

Currently, the market value of my cell is at a one-time price between $200-$250. The Presidential suites, where you can see all four televisions go for up to $500. But the second more important reason my cell is considered an executive suite is that my 7th floor view where I spend hours gazing out at the New York city skyline has another million dollar view when I look down across the street of the Metropolitan Detention Center and see a huge one-story warehouse that runs the length of the block whose side red brick wall faces our building.

Single parking spaces the line the street, where I see correction officers coming to work, attorney’s on their way to meet with clients, mothers, wives, girlfriends, kids and friends on their way entering the building to bring an hour of freedom for a visit.

On the corner of 29th and 1st street, directly in front of my cell towards the back of the red brick wall, there is a dark burgundy aluminum structure sticking out on the side that was probably used for extra storage or deliveries.

It’s been out of commission for years since there’s no roof and a tree about eighteen feet tall growing in the middle of it, but this aluminum burgundy structure gets plenty of use.

It’s a platform of expression for us that look at it every day seeing signs from a loved one that has turned this aluminum burgundy structure into a memorial of inspirational support.

Fathers day and birthday wishes signs reading how much we’re missed and loved, balloons, flags, blown up photos and pictures drawn by children are all testimonials that help every one of us in this building during these challenging times.

It doesn’t have to be a sign specifically for us, placed by our family members, we all appreciate the effort that’s made and know that it’s our loved ones who are doing the real hard time.

Everyday family members stand across the street looking up at our darken windows waving and blowing kisses, hoping that their incarcerated loved one is looking back. I always take my nail clipper and repeatedly tap on the window acknowledging their presence, letting them know they’ve been seen and efforts are appreciated.
During the last two week lockdown when there were no visits, I saw the same mother come once each week to put up a sign and blow kisses for a full hour towards our building, letting her son know the level of love and devotion she has for him. It reminded me of my mother who’s giving me that same type of support, not only these last 13 years in prison but for each moment of my life.

I had a visit on Tuesday, October 24th, which was considered my birthday visit since I’m turning 45 on Friday the 27th. During the afternoon lock-in prior to the visiting session, I looked out at the wall seeing all the same expressions of love from the day before. An hour later, when they unlocked the doors, I rose up from my bed to prepare to get ready to hear my name called to the visiting room, extra excited to see my mother and daughter Nia.

I glanced out the window again and noticed five blue helium balloons tied up on the corner of the wall and instinctively knew it was my mother and Nia that hung them. They were both beaming with smiles when I walked into the visiting room and said, “I saw the five balloons!” as soon as I hugged them hello.

This morning, I woke up and stared at my balloons. I went and worked out, took my shower, got dressed, fixed my 2nd cup of coffee and enjoyed it sitting on my plastic chair looking down out my window seeing the three dark and two light blue birthday balloons blowing in the wind.

I’ve often written how these years in prison make me grateful for the small things in life. A handwritten letter, a thinking of you card, pictures and taking the time to visit. I’ve been blessed throughout these years to have people in my life that do all these things showing nothing but loving support.

I know in a week or so those five blue birthday balloons will be deflated, hanging by the string, fluttering in the wind against the wall, but the symbol of love that those balloons represent is everlasting and the best birthday gift I’ve ever received!

The Ultimate Writers Retreat

We’ve all heard the saying “Everyone has a book in them,” yet the most difficult obstacle would be authors have is actually finding the time to sit down and write the murder mystery, romantic drama, science-fiction fantasy, spy novel or non fiction memoir without having to worry about the gas and electric bills, providing three meals and the numerous everyday necessary responsibilities causing distractions from that creative zone to freely express thoughts and ideas to be shared with the world.

I don’t have that problem, waking up at 5:30 am after seven hours rest, enjoying my first strong hot black coffee while checking e-mail messages at the computer followed by a two-hour work out session. After a nice sweat, I take a steaming hot shower, get dressed in some comfortable gray sweatpants and matching tee shirt, then I mix a banana with a scoop of peanut butter and small carton of milk, like they gave us in elementary school to go with my bran flakes, nuts, and granola cereal. By 9:15 am, it’s time for my second cup of coffee that cools on the table behind me while I lay my notebook out on the bed that I use as my writers’ desk.

If there are no pen marks on the light tan cotton blanket it’s a sign of writer’s block, but that doesn’t happen much because I’m surrounded by an overabundance of true-life stories with main characters anxious to reveal details of everything from murderous gangland plots, wall street money schemes, credit card scams, embezzlers, gun traffickers and even Isis terrorist. I don’t have to solicit their stories or pry for details, actually, I just sit back and listen, finding myself saying “I don’t want to know about that!” far too often.

If there’s one person that knows the power our government yields with the broad scope of a conspiracy it is I, have been fighting my draconian sentence for such a charge since 2004. It’s taken me over 12 years, but I’m finally back in New York at M.D.C. Brooklyn on a 2255 motion for ineffective assistance of counsel. Most of the guys in my unit are here on pre-trial or transferring to another prison. This facility is a lot different from where I’ve spent my previous 8 years at USP Canaan, where there were stabbings every week and we could count on a murder or two a year.

I was shell-shocked for the first few months I came here. There’s a big difference between being in a jail and a penitentiary. Jail is like the rides at a local carnival, the penitentiary is like the rides at a Six Flags Great Adventure amusement park.

Some of these guys look like juveniles and coming here I realized the gang epidemic is spreading through New York like in the West Coast L.A. back in the 80’s. A young Puerto Rican Crip calling himself French is just 18 years old, he was six when I got locked up!! He only weighs about 130 pounds with black low hair cut like a member of the Beetles and an angry babyface who has no idea what’s waiting for him once he reaches the real compound of the Penitentiary.

I see him on the visiting floor every week with his mother, who’s about my age but looking older by the week due to the stress brought on by the light of her life.

It breaks my heart to see, considering I’m being visited by my mother, who’s been giving unyielding support to me on my numerous prison trips since I was his age. I know what lies ahead for this young kids mom since when I tried to talk to French about changing the way he lives he wasn’t trying to hear me.

“I’m a Crip for life! That’s what’s cracking O.G.” he said, calling me a title of respect since I’ve been down so many years due to my previous gangster way of life.

At first, I took offense when all the younger guys called me O.G. (which stands for Original Gangster), not upset with them but with myself. I came in on this sentence when I was 32 and I’m about to turn 45 now asking myself “Were all those years wasted?”

Most would probably think “Yes” but I can attest to the fact that after a year into this sentence, I had the desire to change the way I live and that choice to change saved my life. Spiritually, I built a relationship with my higher power, God and I had some issues to work on but we’ve been good for some time. Physically, I was about 50 pounds overweight so I changed my diet, stuck to a work out routine, lost all the excess weight, started practicing Yoga and I’m as fit as ever. Mentally, I had to learn how to think, not from a gangster mentality but from a spiritual point of view by understanding the power of my thoughts, words, and actions.

I had to think about a new career so I began to write and discovered that when I pick up my blue Bic ballpoint pen, open my wireless notebook with the steaming aroma of my black coffee setting the ambiance to unlock the mental doors of my creative imagination, I am once again free. Not only am I free but I’m at peace, I’m happy and I’m blessed.

I’m not delusional, I realize that being in prison isn’t the ideal situation, but honestly, it can be a writers paradise.

I have an unlimited amount of resources to tap into, real characters that crime writing authors would love to sit with for an hour or two for a question and answer session. I live an F.B.I. profilers dream, to interview these individuals that come seeking guidance from the Gangster Turned Guru.

Most of them want me to write their books, after having read my first published book “Voice For the Silent Fathers”, but I advise them to start to write for themselves because if anything, writing is therapeutic and if they stick to it (which most don’t) hopefully they will discover the gift of freedom that writing offers.

I intend to share some of these stories in the future because I just can’t let this material go to waste. Even in this moment of writing, my new celli who’s been here for a little over two weeks is laying on the top bunk, staring out the window, shaking his head wondering how he ended up here. He’s one of the MS-13 gang leaders which are responsible for over 20 killings in the last two years on the east end of Long Island. The reality hasn’t set in on him yet, he’s only 23 and was about to be deported when the Feds charged him in a new indictment. His other three fellow gang members on the unit are charged with taking part in murdering two teenage girls and four young teenage boys in Brentwood as an initiation rite to join the gang, and he’s still wondering why he’s here! I’ve seen this movie before and know where it’s going. But his story will have to wait until it plays itself out.

Earlier this afternoon, I spent about an hour in a theological discussion with a young man who’s charged with promoting terrorism as an Isis recruiter. El Chapo’s right-hand man and best friend was asking me for physical training advice this morning when I finished my work out. These three interactions are just from today and I’ve been here for 18 months hearing and witnessing episodes that can keep a writer like myself running out of ink.

I use my interaction as an opportunity to shed light on the conditions we all find ourselves in and most that listen are receptive to my guidance because I’ve walked a similar path and speak in a non-judgmental tone. But I still give the raw and uncut truth about the situation we’re in and why.

When many of these guys, most young gang members, come to ask me for legal advice I don’t like being the bearer of bad news when I have to tell them “Tell your lawyer to get you a plea deal for 20 years!” They look at me like I’m crazy. I’ve had the toughest of street thugs unable to hold back tears, that if he had learned to cry years earlier probably would have helped him avoid this situation, but that’s neither here nor there. I take the time to explain that being in your early twenties, you can come home from a twenty year bid and live a productive life, which is something you currently can’t do with a life sentence that Federal Judges have no problem giving out, especially if you dare to exercise your constitutional right to a trial.

In pointing out that we’re all currently in this prison situation as a logical result of things that we’ve either thought, said or done, I emphasize that the exact same method of creation is what will change our condition. Although physically it may not change overnight, I advise learning to use this time for the more important transformation from within, will bring a greater change with life in general.

I attempt to keep a spiritual content with my writings, whether it’s my political thoughts, a fictional novel or autobiography. I just want to let my readers know that I’m currently in the ultimate writers retreat, so have no fear for there will be no lack of The Gangster Turned Guru’s reading material.
#gangsterturnedguru

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#eddiekwright

#mwrightgroup

#iwrite

Gangster Turned Guru Presents: Current Events: Puerto Rico/Trump/Kaepernick

One of the challenges with writing about current events while in prison is that unforeseen obstacles can delay my post even more then the slight delay system I’m dealing with in having to have a third party post on my site. This post is almost two weeks overdue because the day I went to type it out, two MS-13 members attacked and stabbed a member of a rival gang on my unit, triggering a chain reaction of events throughout the prison.
In the past two weeks while I’ve been locked in my cell much has gone on with the continued neglect of Puerto Rico due to the hurricanes which is Donald Trumps “Katrina” moment. I kept waiting to hear one of the Puerto Rican entertainers pull a Kanye West and state “President Trump doesn’t care about Puerto Ricans!”
Instead of caring support, he sends insulting tweets. Two days after Haiti’s earthquake, there were 20,000 American troops deployed to help a foreign country. It took over a week to deploy half that amount to Puerto Rico, a territory of the United States. In two weeks time Haiti had 300 U.S. military helicopters deployed to transport the sick, deliver water, food and supplies. It’s been over two weeks and Puerto Rico has received only 40 military helicopters to assist in their recovery. The brutal attack by Trump on the female Mayor of San Juan who was only trying to get the help that citizens of United States deserve once again reflects the character of our President.
Although I was prepared to write more thoughts on the Puerto Rico catastrophe, the recent Las Vegas incident is now overshadowing all else so I had to mention the Puerto Rico condition which affects the lives of millions of Americans. I’ve written a separate piece on Las Vegas.
But I still wanted to also share what I wrote prior to being locked two weeks ago which may read like old news but I still think is worthy of a read.

President Donald Trump never stops giving us incredible opportunities to express who we are in response to the tweets he sends out and the statements made, not only at his rally’s when he’s specifically speaking to his fan base but when standing on the world stage in front of the leaders of the United Nations where he actually threatened to commit a war crime saying he would “Totally destroy North Korea” prompting their equally crazy leader to respond with similar threats. This is reality TV at it’s best!

Now Trump calls on the NFL owners to “fire any son of a bitch…” that peacefully protest the injustices in America by taking a knee during the National anthem in unison with the movement started by quarterback Collin Kaepernick, which resulted in him being blackballed by the owners of the NFL organization, in an attempt to silence his voice.
The first Sunday of football games after Trump’s directive resulted in over 150 players locking arms or taking a knee in solidarity which isn’t disrespecting the flag or our country, it’s actually reminding us of the freedoms that the flag is supposed to represent.

I’m not surprised that Trump thinks since athletes are paid large salaries by these team owners that they literally own them and they lose their constitutional rights, especially when expressing that right goes against his overall agenda, clandestinely stated with slogans of “Taking back our country” or “Making America great again.” At least Trump is blatantly honest in his opinions that a black man peacefully protesting by taking a knee while the national anthem is being played makes you a “Son of a bitch.” But as long as you’re a white nationalist, marching at night holding tiki torches shouting “You will not replace us!” resulting in a woman being run over and killed, the president stated his opinion saying “Some of those are good people.”

NFL owners were forced to recently come out in public support of their players because of the Presidents statements and tweets. Collin Kaepernick probably feels those owners are a little late, especially when they were in 100% compliance with assuring that he no longer had a job in their organization. Maybe if he chooses to fight dogs on the side or physically abuse his wife, he’d at least earn a couple of million as a substitute quarterback, but to peacefully protest the undeniable injustices in the black communities of America wasn’t going to be tolerated. Hopefully, one of these owners will come to their senses and have the courage to offer him a contract, particularly since he’s a better quarterback than some of this seasons starters.

The president injection into this football topic is possibly a masterful distraction from other significant issues such as the third failed attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act. The Republicans, who for the last seven years did everything to criticize our health care system, haven’t taken the time to create a better comprehensive program equal to the needs of all American people. There are no perfect Health Care policy’s, but there are systems in this world that work and can be improved. The biggest problem America has concerning Health Care is that it’s based on a profit margin, which automatically institutionalizes discriminating practices between the have’s and the have not’s.

Late night talk show host Jimmy Kimel entered the health care debate after his newborn son had to receive open heart surgery and he realizes that if he wasn’t so well off financially, his infant son wouldn’t have received the same quality of care, and there is something inherently wrong with that. We live in the richest nation in the world, yet can’t come up with a method that provides equal and adequate health care for all? The truth is that we choose not to by continuing to allow pharmaceutical manufacturers and health insurance conglomerates that make hundreds of billions of dollars in profits dictate the rules to the game. I’m sure those same companies can still do their research, provide adequate health care to all while continually earning enough to provide for a luxurious lifestyle.

Or could it be it wasn’t the health care issue, but a distraction from this Russian investigation? President Donald Trump is exposing how the laws in America are applied differently based on who you are. Being a guest of the federal criminal justice system for the past 13 years, I’ve witnessed and experienced what little evidence is needed for a successful criminal indictment. Government officials have been caught lying under oath and changed their stories after their lies have been exposed. The FBI director in charge was fired by the President who was under FBI’s investigation.

This Russian debacle isn’t a republican or democrat issue, it’s an American one and it would be hypocritical to lay all the blame on the Russian government for succeeding in the manipulation of our elections. Let’s not forget when the Palestinians held democratic elections and the leaders of Hamas won. Instead of respecting the rights of the Palestinians choice, regardless if we agree with them or not, the United States chose to physically put in place a government and president of their choosing, not of the people.

But the problem here in America is that those in the Trump administration, prior to him being President, actively sought help from a foreign government to gain an advantage in our American elections, which is treasonous. That’s been admitted to by Donald Trump Jr, after months of denying that any meetings with Russians took place once that meeting was exposed.
How deep does that rabbit hole go? We have yet to know, but if there was half as much evidence in a regular criminal conspiracy, because this is what it is, not a collision it’s a criminal conspiracy that would have seen swat teams deployed kicking down doors, assets being frozen and anyone who knew anything being charged with a statue that carried a mandatory minimum sentence to force them to talk regardless of the role they played. This double standard of the law is just what it is and nothing new.
Who knows’s what’s going to come of this Russian investigation, the racial discussion from the NFL protest, health care or the two psychotic egomaniacs both threatening nuclear global destruction? Only God.
As chaotic as the world appears, I never lose sight of the fact that life is based on a Universal spiritual system. That’s difficult for many people to comprehend, especially in the violent conditions of a Penitentiary where your faith and goodness of life and God is constantly under attack.

But I’ve long ago learned the secret power of not having to prove myself right, admitting when I’m wrong and accepting that I don’t know the answer to a lot of things. Yet I do know that God is all there is so regardless of how divided America or really humanity as a hole may appear to be, there is an inseparable unity that we share which is the Divine energy of life. That’s the first fundamental principal I try to keep at the forefront of my mind, which isn’t always easy when interacting with gang members or correction officers who don’t recognize the divine essence within themselves.

I’ll admit it took a lot of work and spiritual soul contemplation to expand my conception, detaching myself from what appears to be and trusting in God’s overall plan. I know that sounds a bit cliche, but my faith and conviction of God has given me the ability to accomplish far more then when I felt I had to do this life thing on my own. So regardless of how much political turmoil there is, don’t loose faith in your higher power and rely on your spiritual relationship more, that may be the reason things seem so chaotic on the outer world, from failing to recognize the divine essence of life which we all share within.

Gangster Turned Guru

#gangsterturnedgurupresents

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#puertorico

#Kaepernick

#currentevents

 

“I’m Glad Trump Is President!”

There hasn’t been a day of this year where I didn’t have the urge to shoot off my opinion about the ramification and the underlying meaning of what President Trump brings to the table.  At first, I was disappointed, especially in my current position as a federal inmate.  The momentum of the prison reforms in an attempt to correct draconian mandatory minimums laws that were put in effect back in the 80’s came to a sudden halt.  Although I wasn’t a Hillary supporter since it was Bill Clinton’s administration and Joe Biden’s articulate drafting of the mandatory minimum laws that continue to disrupt communities across America, they did attempt to right the wrongs of the past with the Fair Sentencing Act (the name in itself reveals just how unfair it was) by supporting the Obama’s administration’s criminal justice reforms.  That was really my only issue as far as who won the Presidency.

Once Bernie Sanders, who was my preferred candidate, got cheated, I knew the fix was in.  That fix happened on both sides, so who could really be mad?  I’m actually glad that Trump is our president, and when I said this to my mother in the visiting room triggering the rage that’s been eating her from within since the November results, her eyes got watery, and her face turned red with a volcanic fury, gripping my arms, digging her nails into my flesh intending to draw the blood of her only son. Glaring her squinting blue eyes, slowly shaking her head through clenched teeth she said, “How dare you say that to me!”

My mother was a hippy, who’s been marching for civil rights since the sixties so she lives and dies for that love, peace, and happiness movement.  She’s a white woman who in 1969 married my father, a big strong bald headed black man when interracial marriage was still ILLEGAL in some southern states of America.  Just because interracial marriage was legal in New York, it didn’t stop a local racist from attempting to burn a cross in my parents’ front lawn.

That was one of the proudest stories she told me about my father, catching the ignorant fool in the act and my dad beating the shit out of him.

My mother raised two black children on her own in an all white community, suffering her share of racist insults like being called a nigger lover.  Derogating stares, humiliating whispers behind her back but loud enough for her to hear, while walking by with my three year old sister, holding her hand and cradling me, a new born on her opposite shoulder keeping her head held high, ignoring the hurtful taunts, that in those days people felt way too comfortable expressing.

The strength and fortitude my mother displayed to change the world that my sister and I grew up in was always evident. Taking us to marches protesting nuclear facilities, demonstrating for women’s rights, painting our faces with flowers and peace signs to spend out childhood Saturdays, walking with thousands of people for whatever cause my mother felt needed to be addressed, was normal for my sister and I growing up.

Jean Wright was grooming me to be the first black President, after a revelation she had when she took me to the 20 year anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s march on Washington.

Although she loves President Obama to the point that she’s probably on some governments watch list of those willing to martyr themselves for his cause, she resents him just a little for taking my spot.  But it wasn’t Obama’s fault, I was a rebellious confused teenager that took to the streets.

When I explain to my mother the politics of living in the Penitentiary, between the different races, gangs, and religious groups, most of the time I’m able to equate the same or similar issues to the outside world.  When I’ve shared certain situations where I’ve had to intervene by resolving a peaceful solution, she’s proud that I’m finally channeling mementos of the political ambitions from her vision she had while standing with me bare foot, knee high in the Washington memorial reflection pool.

For me to support Trump in any manner was a betrayal, the kiss of Judas in my mother’s eyes.  As she released her imprinting nails in order for me to explain why I would make such a cruel statement, I asked her to breathe and calm down while I explained my train of thought.

President Donald Trump has removed the veil that a big portion of this country has hidden behind for years.  Now that he’s so boldly put out there what many of us have known, but couldn’t prove without sounding like a conspiracy theorist or bitter fools, is the reason I’m glad he’s president.

Trump exposed how easily people can be manipulated and controlled by ignorance, fear, and anger.  There was no doubt in his display of insolence for women, blatant racist remarks and overtly prejudice policies, that he planned to implement once he was in the office he now occupies.

President Donald Trump is not the problem and he’s defiantly not the solution.  He represents a time of a not so distant past that he camouflaged in his campaign slogan “Make America Great Again.”  Donald Trump is nothing more than a reference point, an indicating marker of the type of character that appeals to enough voters to get him elected.  That in and of itself reveals a lot more to me than anything he can say or do and that’s why I’m glad he’s President.  The power is in the people and like it or not, the people have spoken!!

But now my dear reader, what are the people saying?   Eight months in and it’s scandal after scandal, some are just distractions from what’s really going on of course.  Look how close we came to losing the Affordable care act, and more importantly look who saved it, Republican Senator John McCain.

Quick side note: Why is it that we have Universal health care for prisoners but can’t figure a way to provide it for every other American?  Better yet, why is it always the lack of money which seems to be the excuse for not saving peoples lives but there is an unlimited about spent on bombs and weapons of war to kill people?  But let me get back to this topic.

I’ve hesitated on writing politically because so many people are already doing it and I’ve somewhat detached myself to try to stay focused on the bigger picture with my spiritual perspective with all things.  When I said to my mother, “God must have wanted Trump to be president”, I saw that her faith and belief in an all loving God begin to falter, and that’s the last thing the Gangster Turned Guru intended to do and what inspired me to write this piece.

Currently, there are protests over Confederate statues, some for them and some against them.  Donald Trump made it perfectly clear where he stands on the issue.  Who’s surprised?  I’m not.  It’s comical when the argument is made that the Confederacy is part of our history, which is true, but a statue or a confederate flag is honoring that history.

Why is it that Germany doesn’t have statues of Hitler in state parks or streets and colleges named after him?  Is Adolf Hitler not part of Germany’s history?  Why is it that there is only one African American museum dedicated to the history of slavery, yet there are over 50 museums dedicated to the Holocaust that didn’t even take place in America, well the Jewish holocaust didn’t but the American Indian holocaust did and I’m not even sure what the number of holocaust museums dedicated to that atrocity is, if any at all.  What about that history?   The Confederate flag, statues and all that the Confederacy represents is a silent acknowledgment and honoring of an institution of oppression which still exist, although it’s cleverly veiled from most.

Many thought that the institution of oppression was gone once Barrack Obama got elected, but those that are really conscious couldn’t be lulled back to sleep so easily, but enough of us were.

It’s still a shock to some that Donald Trump is the president, but his presidency is not a mystery to me.  This experience of Trumpism is necessary for our countries unfoldment in representing who we are.  The spirit of one’s character is revealed in one’s personality.  The protesters marching, CEO’s resigning from Trump’s cabinets and Republican Senators speaking out against their own party all reflect a unifying indication of morals and principals that this concept of America is supposed to represent.

We are one nation under God and the collective consciousness of our Nation will attract the experience to match the predominant mental attitude of our ideas.

To think that an eight year Obama administration would wipe clean the slate of the effects and consequences over two hundred years of institutionalized oppression has caused, is idiotic.

So when I told my unconditional loving mother that I was glad Trump is president, it’s not because I believe in any of his policies or the character he’s displayed, it’s that he continues to inadvertently reveal the core mental attitude of an overwhelming portion of this country.

Unlike my mother, I’m able to maintain my peace of mind with Donald Trump being President, mainly because I never lose sight of the fact that we come from One God who’s ultimately in control and allowed Trump to be President for a reason.

Listen, I’m the first to admit that I’ve disagreed with the way God has done things a number of times in my life, but looking back from who I was to who I am now, I’m able to recognize the infinite Source of life was always in control.

President Trump is the ultimate wake up call, for those that have eyes to see and ears to hear.

We each have a personal responsibility to respond accordingly.  By maintaining positive, peaceful, constructive thoughts we’ll attract the experience that reflects our inner mental attitude.

God is good, which means there is always more good than bad in people.  Not only in Donald Trump because he is just one man, but also the abundance of good in the ones he represents.  There is always a silent power behind all things that attract the results of our thoughts and ideas.  So, if our dominate inner attitude is to be at peace, more harmonious with all people, not just Democrats or Republicans, but with humanity as a whole, reflecting that helpful, joyful nature, then by the year 2020, we should be cheering “Michelle Obama for President!!”

Eddie K. Wright, AKA The Gangster Turned Guru.