Forgiveness

He was 5 years old when he killed his 2 year old sister, after finding a loaded shotgun behind their mothers bedroom door while playing cowboys and Indians.

Too often we hear or read in the news of children accidently killing other children and we may emphasize for 30 seconds or even a full minute of our time, but the impact of such a grave tragedy is most often disregarded.

Forty years of guilt and pain that this 5 year old carried was only ever eased with the use of alcohol and drugs. This mythology only increased his number of bad choices, which lead him to where he is now, USP Canaan, participating in the Challenge program, giving a seminar on how he finally learned to forgive himself for the devastating mistake he made as a child.

We project out ideas of ourselves in our personalities which are formed at such a young age that I truly empathized with his struggle. I could hear how much he’s suffered through life. That he finally came to the place where he’s found peace within himself is a good thing. The fact that he’s working to help others find peace within themselves through learning how to forgive is even better.

I’m a mentor in this Challenge program, which didn’t surprise anyone since I’m already known as the gangster turned Guru. My door is always open for positive spiritual advice and explaining the power of forgiveness is one of the re-occurring lessons that I share.

I’ve found that a lot of people have difficulties forgiving themselves because they don’t think that God would forgive them.

“I’ve committed a mortal sin!,” is frequently the type of rationale used to live in this eternal bondage of self-condemnation.

“God’s not worried about your little transgressions,” I often remark. My dignified, unconcerned way of disregarding the idea of this oppressive, tyrannical concept of God has resulted in a diverse number of reactions, that normally navigate the conversation towards explaining the unconditional love of God and logically making the segue to us all being worthy of divine forgiveness.

I’m not talking with guys that didn’t pay their taxes or may have robbed a local liquor store.

USP Canaan is a level 7 maximum penitentiary. This means that there is a maximum amount of God’s spiritual beings that have yet to recognize the essence of who they truly are.

To live that recognition is to be able to forgive. When you learn to forgive yourself, the burden of suffering is lifted off your shoulders.

Jesus clearly taught the healing power of forgiveness, explaining that we should forgive seventy times seven. That’s basically saying God’s unconditional love includes forgiveness, eternally available to us all, if we allow God’s love in our hearts.

http://www.change.org/freeEddieWright

#DoTheWrightThing

I’m sorry

I know I’ve been abusing our relationship.

I’ll admit, there’s no valid excuse.

I haven’t been giving you my time to show the type of love and freedom you’ve given me.

You’re always available, patiently waiting for me to engage you openly, honestly and unconditionally.

What’s hardest to accept is that I’m fully to blame. That’s a fact!

But we both know I don’t have a history of maintaining healthy relationships and if anyone understands the reasons for my dysfunctional ways, it’s you.

When we’re together we’ve laughed and cried as we travel through space and time. I’ve expressed the overwhelming shame of not being the father my children deserve, my failures as a selfish son who’s mother truly sacrificed her life for, my truancy as a husband and let’s not forget my derelict type of behavior on society.

Without judgment or condemnation, you love me for who I’ve been and who I am now, unconditionally.

You’ve helped me come to terms with life by healing the hurt and pain I’ve caused my family, society and most importantly myself.

At my lowest point, you gave me meaning and purpose when I thought I had none.

With you, I’ve been able to reach out and help others heal their hurt and pain with the difficulties in their lives.

Helping them is two fold because it also helps me.

But still I stray away for months at a time and when I show back up, your here.

No criticism.

No blame.

No accusations.

You’re just ready to continue from where we left off. I guess you’re fully aware I’m beat myself up for my inattentive behavior, especially since I know I’m at my best when I’m with you.

Happy.

Calm.

Peaceful.

Content.

So it perplexes me when I ignore our relationship.

When I stay away it may appear like I’m taking you for granted.

I’m not.

You have been the key to my freedom for over 17 years behind these penitentiary walls.

Knowing that you’ll always be here keeps me grounded, sane and gives me the strength and fortitude to carry on with a positive, hopeful attitude.

But you already know all of these thoughts and feelings I’m expressing because that’s how close our relationship is.

Still that’s no excuse for my neglect.

This letter is to acknowledge the appreciation and gratitude I have for our relationship.

I will strive to do better by committing more of myself to you and to us…

This gift of writing.

Pre-Introduction: The Evolution Of…

Coming in early 2019, Gangster Turned Guru Presents:  “The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru”
PRE-INTRODUCTION:
When I first sat down to write “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU,” it was the easiest 300 pages I ever wrote. Reliving the experiences of my criminal past, I wanted the reader to know that there wasn’t an aspect of this gangster lifestyle which I hadn’t participated in.
The ‘go hard or go home’, ‘get rich or die trying’, ‘feast or famine’ attitude for over 20 years had so many stories, that it was going to end up being a four book series. Fortunately, I recognized the content of what I was writing, in what would turn out to be the first three books were reading like non-fiction urban novels.
The message wasn’t corresponding to what I’m inspired to express. Although it’s who I was, it’s no longer who I choose to be and even though my intent wasn’t to glorify my gangster past, some might interpret it that way.
What if readers only buy the first three books without getting to the transformation part?
No.
Influencing anyone on the path is the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t need to build my gangster credibility with the reader. Trust me, my 45-year sentence from the United States Government as the leader of a criminal enterprise is resume enough to do that alone.
Who I thought myself to be, was not who I truly am and with the realization of life’s laws and principals, I’ve experienced how the truth is always the solutions to difficulties that I’ve been faced with. That truth lead me to change my process of thought because I’m the first to admit, I didn’t know how to think. Oh, I thought I knew it all when entertaining my gangster mentality, attempting to achieve what I expected to bring peace and happiness.
Yet the cause, which was the way I thought, didn’t correspond with the effect I was attempting to accomplish. I had no idea of the Universal laws and principals that govern life until I consciously made a decision to search for the truth.
My inner desire enlightened me to a spiritual way of living by realizing that we are immersed in a creative intelligence, an eternal goodness of unconditional love and law. The awakening to my true being, under conditions that most consider being hell on earth, is more evidence of the power we all have access to. I’ve achieved that peace and happiness which is enhanced by sharing this truth with others.
I’m not a spiritual sage or mystic. It wasn’t a beam of illumination or burning bush that woke me up late at night to tell me this spiritual truth. It was the experience of the laws and love of God that shed light on the darkness, making it clear for me to see that the darkness didn’t even exist.
Yet, as long as I continued to hold the perception and belief of being a gangster, the laws corresponding to that thought pattern created the outward experience. But the essence of who I am and who you are cannot and does not change.
The journey of life’s un-unfoldment is one of self-discovery that we each must individually experience in our own way. The importance of one’s personal experience can’t be emphasized enough since this is the foundation of your conviction in what you believe.
It’s not enough for me to say that we are all spiritual beings, unified with life, living in a Universe of creative intelligence that operates according to these Universal laws, set in motion due to the way we think, words we speak and actions we take to create our experience. That this law is God’s law of cause and effect based on an impersonal principle of being a natural law, which means that regardless if used destructively or constructively, the law will take the impression of our thoughts and attract the experience that our thinking directed it to do.
As good as that sounds, learning is not that easy. Most of us are actually bound by our creative freedom, from not consciously being aware of the influence our thinking has in creating the conditions we find ourselves experiencing.
With the law and infinite intelligence of God, there are no limits on what we can individually achieve, except the limits that we place on ourselves according to what we believe.
Spiritual knowledge of this Universal system of life brings the essence of your spiritual perfection to the surface. But until we individually make a conscious decision to challenge the false ideas held about ourselves, and analyze why our lives are in what appears to be a constant state of turmoil, then we can’t expect the habits of thoughts that created the present circumstances to attract something different in the future.
By changing my thought patterns from a gangster living in fear, being angry and frustrated with the world, to a mentality of a spiritual nature, God’s laws directed me to the right path in the choices that I make and experiences that I create. When I don’t know what to do or seem confused, I understand that there is an intelligence within me that does know and will reveal the answer, giving me this unyielding poise that I experience creating peace, harmony, and happiness that so many have trouble finding.
This understanding didn’t’ happen overnight. What’s important is that it happen and regardless of my outer situation, my inner experience of peace and love of God doesn’t change. So I teach what I’ve learned in an attempt to help others realize and recognize the divine essence of their being. I write in the modern-day language of an old all-inclusive universal truth, teaching God’s love, law and how it works according to the way we think. I keep a mental attitude of gratitude, discussing this truth that’s an antidote to the deep emotional pain and distress that so many of us suffer from.
You may not be in the dire situation that’s read about in the following pages, but the method and solutions to find peace and happiness with a meaningful life are the same.
One’s outer circumstances cannot dictate your emotional state unless you allow them to. We see this all the time with two people in the exact same environment, one is joyful and the other is miserable. The only difference between the two is the inner thoughts they choose to entertain.
This is the essence of our free will, the choice to choose how we think and what we think about. This makes all the difference in the creation of your life because you’ll experience who you think you are, even if it isn’t true. And here is where we find the unconditional love of God’s laws, allowing us to experience who we are not, in order to discover who we truly are.
I’ve created immeasurable challenges for myself, transforming them into opportunities that inspired a change that brought about “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU“.
#gangsterturnedguru
#voiceforthesilentfathers
#eddiekwright

“I’m Glad Trump Is President!”

DUmb ass trumpThere hasn’t been a day of this year where I didn’t have the urge to shoot off my opinion about the ramification and the underlying meaning of what President Trump brings to the table.  At first, I was disappointed, especially in my current position as a federal inmate.  The momentum of the prison reforms in an attempt to correct draconian mandatory minimums laws that were put in effect back in the 80’s came to a sudden halt.  Although I wasn’t a Hillary supporter since it was Bill Clinton’s administration and Joe Biden’s articulate drafting of the mandatory minimum laws that continue to disrupt communities across America, they did attempt to right the wrongs of the past with the Fair Sentencing Act (the name in itself reveals just how unfair it was) by supporting the Obama’s administration’s criminal justice reforms.  That was really my only issue as far as who won the Presidency.

Once Bernie Sanders, who was my preferred candidate, got cheated, I knew the fix was in.  That fix happened on both sides, so who could really be mad?  I’m actually glad that Trump is our president, and when I said this to my mother in the visiting room triggering the rage that’s been eating her from within since the November results, her eyes got watery, and her face turned red with a volcanic fury, gripping my arms, digging her nails into my flesh intending to draw the blood of her only son. Glaring her squinting blue eyes, slowly shaking her head through clenched teeth she said, “How dare you say that to me!”

My mother was a hippy, who’s been marching for civil rights since the sixties so she lives and dies for that love, peace, and happiness movement.  She’s a white woman who in 1969 married my father, a big strong bald headed black man when interracial marriage was still ILLEGAL in some southern states of America.  Just because interracial marriage was legal in New York, it didn’t stop a local racist from attempting to burn a cross in my parents’ front lawn.

That was one of the proudest stories she told me about my father, catching the ignorant fool in the act and my dad beating the shit out of him.

My mother raised two black children on her own in an all white community, suffering her share of racist insults like being called a nigger lover.  Derogating stares, humiliating whispers behind her back but loud enough for her to hear, while walking by with my three year old sister, holding her hand and cradling me, a new born on her opposite shoulder keeping her head held high, ignoring the hurtful taunts, that in those days people felt way too comfortable expressing.

The strength and fortitude my mother displayed to change the world that my sister and I grew up in was always evident. Taking us to marches protesting nuclear facilities, demonstrating for women’s rights, painting our faces with flowers and peace signs to spend out childhood Saturdays, walking with thousands of people for whatever cause my mother felt needed to be addressed, was normal for my sister and I growing up.

Jean Wright was grooming me to be the first black President, after a revelation she had when she took me to the 20 year anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s march on Washington.

Although she loves President Obama to the point that she’s probably on some governments watch list of those willing to martyr themselves for his cause, she resents him just a little for taking my spot.  But it wasn’t Obama’s fault, I was a rebellious confused teenager that took to the streets.

When I explain to my mother the politics of living in the Penitentiary, between the different races, gangs, and religious groups, most of the time I’m able to equate the same or similar issues to the outside world.  When I’ve shared certain situations where I’ve had to intervene by resolving a peaceful solution, she’s proud that I’m finally channeling mementos of the political ambitions from her vision she had while standing with me bare foot, knee high in the Washington memorial reflection pool.

For me to support Trump in any manner was a betrayal, the kiss of Judas in my mother’s eyes.  As she released her imprinting nails in order for me to explain why I would make such a cruel statement, I asked her to breathe and calm down while I explained my train of thought.

President Donald Trump has removed the veil that a big portion of this country has hidden behind for years.  Now that he’s so boldly put out there what many of us have known, but couldn’t prove without sounding like a conspiracy theorist or bitter fools, is the reason I’m glad he’s president.

Trump exposed how easily people can be manipulated and controlled by ignorance, fear, and anger.  There was no doubt in his display of insolence for women, blatant racist remarks and overtly prejudice policies, that he planned to implement once he was in the office he now occupies.

President Donald Trump is not the problem and he’s defiantly not the solution.  He represents a time of a not so distant past that he camouflaged in his campaign slogan “Make America Great Again.”  Donald Trump is nothing more than a reference point, an indicating marker of the type of character that appeals to enough voters to get him elected.  That in and of itself reveals a lot more to me than anything he can say or do and that’s why I’m glad he’s President.  The power is in the people and like it or not, the people have spoken!!

But now my dear reader, what are the people saying?   Eight months in and it’s scandal after scandal, some are just distractions from what’s really going on of course.  Look how close we came to losing the Affordable care act, and more importantly look who saved it, Republican Senator John McCain.

Quick side note: Why is it that we have Universal health care for prisoners but can’t figure a way to provide it for every other American?  Better yet, why is it always the lack of money which seems to be the excuse for not saving peoples lives but there is an unlimited about spent on bombs and weapons of war to kill people?  But let me get back to this topic.

I’ve hesitated on writing politically because so many people are already doing it and I’ve somewhat detached myself to try to stay focused on the bigger picture with my spiritual perspective with all things.  When I said to my mother, “God must have wanted Trump to be president”, I saw that her faith and belief in an all loving God begin to falter, and that’s the last thing the Gangster Turned Guru intended to do and what inspired me to write this piece.

Currently, there are protests over Confederate statues, some for them and some against them.  Donald Trump made it perfectly clear where he stands on the issue.  Who’s surprised?  I’m not.  It’s comical when the argument is made that the Confederacy is part of our history, which is true, but a statue or a confederate flag is honoring that history.

Why is it that Germany doesn’t have statues of Hitler in state parks or streets and colleges named after him?  Is Adolf Hitler not part of Germany’s history?  Why is it that there is only one African American museum dedicated to the history of slavery, yet there are over 50 museums dedicated to the Holocaust that didn’t even take place in America, well the Jewish holocaust didn’t but the American Indian holocaust did and I’m not even sure what the number of holocaust museums dedicated to that atrocity is, if any at all.  What about that history?   The Confederate flag, statues and all that the Confederacy represents is a silent acknowledgment and honoring of an institution of oppression which still exist, although it’s cleverly veiled from most.

Many thought that the institution of oppression was gone once Barrack Obama got elected, but those that are really conscious couldn’t be lulled back to sleep so easily, but enough of us were.

It’s still a shock to some that Donald Trump is the president, but his presidency is not a mystery to me.  This experience of Trumpism is necessary for our countries unfoldment in representing who we are.  The spirit of one’s character is revealed in one’s personality.  The protesters marching, CEO’s resigning from Trump’s cabinets and Republican Senators speaking out against their own party all reflect a unifying indication of morals and principals that this concept of America is supposed to represent.

We are one nation under God and the collective consciousness of our Nation will attract the experience to match the predominant mental attitude of our ideas.

To think that an eight year Obama administration would wipe clean the slate of the effects and consequences over two hundred years of institutionalized oppression has caused, is idiotic.

So when I told my unconditional loving mother that I was glad Trump is president, it’s not because I believe in any of his policies or the character he’s displayed, it’s that he continues to inadvertently reveal the core mental attitude of an overwhelming portion of this country.

Unlike my mother, I’m able to maintain my peace of mind with Donald Trump being President, mainly because I never lose sight of the fact that we come from One God who’s ultimately in control and allowed Trump to be President for a reason.

Listen, I’m the first to admit that I’ve disagreed with the way God has done things a number of times in my life, but looking back from who I was to who I am now, I’m able to recognize the infinite Source of life was always in control.

President Trump is the ultimate wake up call, for those that have eyes to see and ears to hear.

We each have a personal responsibility to respond accordingly.  By maintaining positive, peaceful, constructive thoughts we’ll attract the experience that reflects our inner mental attitude.

God is good, which means there is always more good than bad in people.  Not only in Donald Trump because he is just one man, but also the abundance of good in the ones he represents.  There is always a silent power behind all things that attract the results of our thoughts and ideas.  So, if our dominate inner attitude is to be at peace, more harmonious with all people, not just Democrats or Republicans, but with humanity as a whole, reflecting that helpful, joyful nature, then by the year 2020, we should be cheering “Michelle Obama for President!!”

Eddie K. Wright, AKA The Gangster Turned Guru.