Excerpt, Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: Chapel

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“Worry stems from a degree of fear, which is difficult to overcome because it’s how most of us are conditioned to think.”

“Conditioned to think?”  Carlos said, standing up walking over to the C.D. player and lowering the volume. “I don’t know how you were taught to think,” he said walking back over to his chair, “but I’m not conditioned or trained to think any type of way.”  Shaking his head, sitting back down.

“How did we go from praying and the spirits to how we think?” Jose asked.

“Because thinking is praying,” Paradise answered.

“Exactly!” I said, “You’re expressing your thoughts, activating the laws to attract the effect.”

“So you’re saying God has nothing to do with it?” Jose asked.

“God has everything to do with it,” I said, “because, it’s God’s law, but you’re not praying to God, you’re using the laws already established.   This is why it’s as if some people’s prayers are answered and others aren’t.  Some people know how to direct the energy using the law, depending on God’s law to bring about the result, some do it very consciously and have a strong faith and some do it unconsciously without understanding the process.”

“So what do you believe? In these laws or God and the spirits?” Jose asked, pulling his chair closer.

All eyes fell on me.

I paused again for a moment, “I understand that there is an all-wise, intelligent, all-knowing powerful Creator,” I began, “Call it God, spirits, the Universe or call it our higher power, it’s all part of us and we are part of it.”

“Now you’re part of God?” Paradise asked.

“Yes,” I said looking him dead in the face, “and so are you.  Many of the mainstream religions teach that we’re separated from God or the source of all life but that’s not true.”

“How do you know?” Carlos challenged.

“Because it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not?”

“Because a God of love wouldn’t want to be separated from her greatest creation.”

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Gangster Turned Guru Presents: “Catching An Epp”

Oct 10, 2018 at 4:23 PM

Suddenly an agonizing outcry interrupted my afternoon spades game. It’s the wailing I was used to after spending over a decade in the penitentiary where stabbings are methodical occurrences that happen every week. Yet, in the two and a half years I’ve been back in M.D.C. Brooklyn on appeal, there’s only been two stabbings on my unit, which would really be labeled as scratches, not that serious at all. 

But this currant screeching was reminiscent of the past, felt in my bones to where I assumed someone was being punctured to the point of loosing their life. 

Up on the top tier, a cell door slammed open, amplifying the screams from this 6 foot 2, muscular mountain of a man, about 35 years old, struck with a look of pure terror. Blax, my new celli, tried pulling this huge man back in the cell, only to be swatted away like a fly while his yelling continued. 

Mountain man, sprinted to the stairs with the attention of the entire unit watching. A two second hesitation, which I suspected he needed to take a deep breath for the continuing hallowing as he threw himself down the stairs. This was a enormous guy, about 250 pounds of muscles, coming down each of the 15 steps hard. 

Crashing at the bottom, he sprang up, spun around and raced back to the top, bellowing out the piercing scream of horror.
He grabbed the same steel cell door he just kicked open, slammed it against the wall and began punching it bare knuckles, like a young Rocky Bowbowwa beating up a side of beef while training in the ice box. 

By now of course, we all figured out what was going on, he was having what we call an epp, short for an episode, after smoking synthetic weed, known as K-2. These are the weekly occurrences I’ve become used to here at M.D.C., it’s just that this one took the crown. He continued beating the steel door until the C.O.’s ran in. It took five officers to restrain him while he kicked, punched, screamed and defecated on himself, until finally he was cuffed and carried out. 

You would think that guys would see this as an informitable warning that what’s labeled as synthetic weed is nothing like weed at all. Smoking crack doesn’t make people act like that! 
But in this strange world where down is up and up is down, as soon as they let us back out of our cells, all the smokers were running around trying to get some of what he had! How crazy is that.

Excerpt, The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: Canaan

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“When I finished studying a book, I would normally pass it along to Paradise, who never held back on giving me his point of view of what I gave him to read and today was no different.  Walking in my cell, putting the gray chair over the toilet bowl to take a seat, Paradise announced, “I can’t accept all this law of attraction, God is love bull shit!”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s no way that I attracted this life sentence.”

“And yet you’re here with the life sentence,” I said, placing the red velvet material attached to the spine like a bookmarker between the pages of the Veda, a Hindu religious teaching, then stood up to refresh my coffee. “You want a cup?” I offered.

“No, I want to understand how you could accept this delusional theory,” he challenged.

“I honestly looked at my life, the way I thought and my actions.  When I did that, it really wasn’t that hard to see,” I admitted while scooping a tablespoon of dark crystals from the yellow and brown bag of Kaffe instant coffee into my mug.

“Unconsciously or consciously, I would never choose this for myself.”

“Again Paradise, yet your here.  But I had that same struggle when learning about life’s process and the laws of attraction.  You want to know when it all started to make sense.”

“When?”

“Once I was honest with myself and took responsibility for my actions, instead of using the blame game as justification.”

Leaning back in the chair, interlocking his fingers behind his head he said, “So you don’t blame the rats on your case, the agent or the Judge that gave you 45 years?”

“No, I blame the lifestyle I choose to live and the way I used to think.  I’ve learned the power of my thoughts.”

“With the laws of attraction and all your universal principals’ bull shit?”

“Yes, and I had to change my thoughts in order to change the conditions of my life.”

“But your life isn’t changed, your still here in prison, locked up with me.”

I turned on the hot water letting it run until the steam fogged up the bottom of the wall mirror, then filled my coffee mug half way and explained, “I’m at peace from creating an inner freedom that ultimately reflexes my outer conditions.”

“Please Eddie,” he said, with an underlying laugh quickly standing up to put the chair back next to the bed. “I know a better way to change my conditions right now.”

“How’s that?”

“By getting the hell away from you,” he said and walked out the cell door.”

Excerpt, The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Resurrection

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Everything I learned, revealed divine consciousness is God dwelling within and outside of us.  The good and the bad, the hot and the cold, all of it is God.  By putting things in that context, I didn’t have to know and understand everything. I was working on living with more trust and appreciation of the process by allowing moments to unfold.

I heard a story on the news which helped me stay grateful for all that I had and kept life in the proper perspective.

A young mother had just left church on Easter Sunday, in the Bronx with her family and had her young baby boy less than two years old, strapped in his car seat.

A stray bullet traveled through the back door, killing her son.

Situations like this used to be my justification for why there can’t be a God.  On what level did the Universal laws get activated to bring that experience about?  I believe God is in control. But hearing stories like that at times – wasn’t convincing.

Nia, my youngest child, was close to that same age when the story broke.  I couldn’t imagine the suffering that the family was experiencing.  I wanted that child’s life to not be a random act of violence.  I used that incident to realize how blessed I am to be able to see my daughters every week, kissing and holding them in my arms, even if it’s only for an hour in the crowded visiting room.

I’m sure that the child’s mother would change situations with me, no hesitation involved, happy to be facing 45 years, as long as her baby boy was alive.  I decided then on that I would never complain about being in prison.  I’ve experienced how important the right attitude was dealing with difficult situations that were ultimately based on your perception and faith.

“If only someone would have explained to me then, what I’ve now come to learn,” I thought, looking out on the unit, seeing impressions of myself at earlier stages in life when I had a gangster mentality, convinced I knew it all.

EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Real O.G.

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“”I’ve condemned myself to hell on earth,” I thought.

Not only am I indicted for a drug conspiracy, but I was under investigation for extortion, a string of burglaries and armed robberies connected to a crooked Suffolk County cop, a group of shady lawyers and one of the Mafia’s five organized crime families.

When Erick Sermon went head first out a fourth-floor window, I was the first person called.   My crew had a reputation to dish out street justice.  There was no aspect of this gangster lifestyle I didn’t participate in.

That first year of incarceration, was one dramatic court hearing after another.  Each taking a toll on my mother. When she learned that my friends were cooperating with the government against me, she took matters into her own hands.

Mom walked quietly but carried a big stick.

My mother had a reputation of her own in the streets.

The district attorney learned that Mamma Wright was in Gestapo mode and brought it to the judge’s attention at the end of my hearing.

“Your honor, there’s one last issue I would like to address, concerning the defendant’s mother,” the prosecutor said pointing to my mother in the courtroom.

John, turned around with raised eyebrows, looking at my mom who smiled, shrugged her shoulders, listening to what was said.

“What’s your concern?” the Judge asked.

“We’ve received information that Mrs. Wright has confronted a number of potential witnesses and we would ask the Court to advise her to stop.  She’s attempting to obstruct justice.”

My mother kept smiling.

Then the Judge addressed her directly, “Mrs. Wright, although the Court does understand a mother’s love for her son, please cease contact with witnesses involved in this case.  Interfering with a federal investigation is a serious crime. Please allow your sons’ lawyer, who I’m sure has a licensed investigator, address any issues that have any significance to this case.”

“O.k.,” my mother said, nodding her head, still smiling at me as I was lead out of the courtroom.

That evening, I was unexpectedly called down for a legal visit.”

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EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru

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Chapter One:  The Beginning

Eddie K. Wright

“I experienced the difference living in the black world and the white one. I was sheltered in the safe white world in the suburbs of Long Island, living on a dead end block with close-knit neighbors. Prejudice incidents still occurred with kids once in a while.  Being called a nigger was the one word I knew justified any physical beat down I dished out in childhood fights.  But I had a good healthy adventurous upbringing, riding BMX bikes, playing hide and seek, joining the boy scouts and playing soccer.

As I grew into my adolescent years, my white friends were into groups like AC/DC, Metallica, and Guns and Roses. I was into Africa Bambada, Sugar Hill gang and break dancing.

I was always encouraged to be whatever I wanted to be in life.

Get your education and the sky’s the limit.

But it wasn’t something that I believed. It sounded good when my mother would tell me but growing into a young black teenager, I held different views of life with a sense that my opportunities would be limited.

During my confused, angry, teenage years, I began getting into fights so I started selling weed, I had zero respect for authority and ended up attending five different high schools. Somehow I graduated from Central Islip High School on time in 1991.

At 18 years old, I had a newborn son named Andrew, who I was denying from my ex-girlfriend. I obtained numerous arrest and from what the principal said at the graduation ceremony, this was just the beginning of my journey in life.

I continued acting out on a path of self-destructive behaviors, thinking fighting and shootouts at clubs were cool, just to be known. When I began selling serious drugs, the way money came cemented the idea in my mind of what I wanted to do.

I heard that lifestyle would only land you in prison or the graveyard.

“It wouldn’t happen to me,” I thought.

But even when it did, after doing my time, six months in county jail, then four years in Virginia state prison, I felt so caught up in the life that I thought being a gangster was what God put me in this world to be. I was following my destiny, right off a cliff.

By 32, I was well known in the criminal underworld, connected to street gangs, drug cartels, and major mafia families. I had a house with no mortgage. My new wife was a beautiful young pregnant Columbian knock out. I was managing Erick Sermon, the legendary rap artist, and music producer, traveling the globe and making plenty of money. From the outside looking in, I was on top of the world. But my inner voice would ask “Where am I heading? When is all of this going to come crumbling down?”

Change is a powerful word. It can inflict a strong sense of fear, in those that need it the most.

When our lives have hit rock bottom, the suggestion to change is the one thing that can appear to make things even worse. As long as we live with self-destructive thought patterns and belief systems, difficult results will continue to show up in our life experiences.

I found myself asking life questions, answering them with the gangster thought system that clearly didn’t have the right answers to bring about change.

“What’s the meaning of life?”  “To get rich or die trying.”

“What brings happiness?” “Money and the things I can by with it.”

Those were the rules I lived by.”

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#eddiekwright

#theevolutionofagangsterturnedguru

#Launch2019