Here is an excerpt of the much-anticipated introduction to my upcoming series
**This is a quick read and will be available July 26, 2016, for .99!
We’ve all heard various stories of spiritual sages that go off into the desert, upon a mountain top, into the wilderness or deep inside a cave for an extended period of time to gain a clear understanding of God or this thing called life. Christian monks considered it a privilege to be locked in a small damp dusty room, no bigger than a prison cell, where they are brought meals and all they do is contemplate on the words of the bible.
The Buddha sat in meditation at the edge of a stream for days until he finally reached his state of Nirvana claiming to finally be awake. Near death experiences have been said to awaken the inner realization of the true spiritual essence within.
That’s not how it happened for me. My spiritual wake-up call took place in a world of chaos and turmoil, in the school of hard knocks, where I had to finally address all my negative characteristics and traits that supported my gangster mentality in order for me to completely experience a spiritual transformation.
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From: WRIGHT, EDDIE
Jun 26, 2016, 1:06 PM
When I first sat down to write this post, right after reading this article about a father who refused to claim his son’s body after he was killed in the Orlando Massacre at club Pulse, my outrage, anger, and disgust for this father who was causing more hurt and pain to his son’s family and friends was clear in my explicit word expression because…..I was mad as hell.
My blood was boiling as visions of a young mans body, alone in the morgue just waiting for his loved one’s to put him to rest flashed in my minds eye. I was livid and had to step away from what I was writing when I noticed how upset it made me.
I went and got a fresh cup of coffee, collected my thoughts, took a few deep breath as I read over what I originally wrote and then I started over.
I already know that plenty of people are going to post comments expressing their outrage at this fathers actions and more of the same from me wouldn’t help. So by the time I finished my coffee and calmed down, returning to my spiritual center, I realized this is one of those fathers I posted about a few weeks ago who won’t get the chance to heal the relationship with his child.
So now from my Gangster turned Guru perspective, I began to feel sad for this father, and all fathers who couldn’t overcome their own prejudices and fears by learning to love unconditionally. I’m sure this fathers son would rather I use this opportunity to again encourage father’s to reach out to their children and work on healing their relationships. If ever there was a time to offer your parental comfort it’s NOW.
I’ve been the master of bad choices and decisions as a parent, and with my life in general, I can admit and accept that. But when I got over my self-righteous, egotistical, know it all way of thinking, swallowed my macho man pride by letting my son know that I love him unconditionally, weather he’s gay, straight, transgender or what ever… A great peace, joy and happiness was felt within my soul.
I realized that with all my imperfections as a father, my son never stopped loving me even when I didn’t make it easy to be loved.
Each time I send out a post expressing the importance of our parental love, acceptance and support, I do it with the specific intent of reaching that father I used to be. Confused, alone, struggling with accepting what I couldn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. But what I did want was to have the courage to be the type of loving father I promised to be when I first held my son, looking into his eyes, silently letting him know that he could always depend on me. I broke that promise plenty of times, but life gave me another opportunity to live up to it and I try my hardest even in my complex situation.
I’m really trying my hardest now to come up with the right words to write that will wake up these fathers that are actually hurting inside, especially with a heart so cold that it allows a father to leave his child’s body unclaimed. No he doesn’t need another person to scold him for his actions, what he needs is a hug because he’s hurting and suffering from a broken heart.
I speak as a father that went through it and it’s going to eat him from within until he’s healed. It’s harder to do that now that he’s son has moved on but I’m sure that’s what his son would want. There are always opportunities to make amends, the first step is to stop causing more hurt and pain. I said it before and will probably say it a thousand times, making peace with my son by giving him my unconditional loving support to live his life in which ever way makes him happy was one of the best things I could do as a father. I hope others parents have the courage to do the same.
Eddie K. Wright aka Gangster turned Guru.
Jun 13, 2016, 4:22 PM
The silence of turning off the radio after listening all day to the news reports of the Orlando terrorist attacks was comforting. So thankful that my son made a change in his plans because Pulse is his hang-out spot.
While sitting in front of my window seeing the Empire State building, World Trade Center, even the Statue of liberty, a million dollar view of the New York City skyline, from 7 flights up in M.D.C. Brooklyn, back fighting my case on appeal. Getting hit with 45 years was an enlightening experience to say the least, waking me up to what life’s really all about.
I wasted so many moments when I was free, worrying about stupid shit like what the hell I’m going to do when my son openly starts pledging his allegiance to that rainbow colored flag! I missed opportunities to prepare him for living in such a judgmental world. At that time, it was me, his own father being so judgmental, adding to the challenges I already knew he would confront.
And when I let go of my judgments with my loving acceptance, everything wasn’t peaches and cream. His justified anger and resentment towards me as a teenager took me on one hell of a roller coaster ride, with no seat belt, but I held on tight to the love for my son, life and God. We share a wonderful relationship because we had the time to work it out and we’re both grateful for that even with me in my current situation.
As I think about all of those victims, I wonder how many of them had thick headed fathers like myself, but didn’t have the opportunity to resolve their issues, and now won’t get a chance to right the wrong.
So for all those fathers out there with that “No son of mine” mentality, if ever there was a time to pick up that phone to burry the hatchet…it’s now. You don’t have to have all the answers, you don’t have to feel comfortable with their lifestyle, but what you have to do is let them know that in the end… None of that matters because they’re your child and you love them unconditionally, the way they love you.
It could be days, weeks, months, or years that have passed, it doesn’t matter. Send a text message of support for them during this difficult time and be grateful that their still alive to receive it. I’m sure their are plenty of fathers in Orlando Florida right now that would be willing to give anything to make peace with the loved one that was lost.
Maybe this tragedy will be your enlightening experience to put fatherhood in the proper perspective. This is not the time to drag up the pain that may have been caused in the past, we’re dealing with healing, the bottom line which is to let them know they are loved, especially by their fathers. Please trust me….it means a lot.
Eddie K. Wright (a voice for the silent fathers)
Thank you for the opportunity to express my thoughts about Eddies’ book “Voice for the Silent Fathers”. These delicate father son issues, so implicitly captured in his writings, are relevant to a broad spectrum of societal issues beyond the “no son of mine” father of a gay man experience. In fact, the book gets to the real substance of human conflict which is our inability to accept and appreciate difference. The key word here is appreciation. The book offers an opportunity to consider acceptance in a way that extends grace, honor, support and recognition. When we are ungrateful, we are critical, blaming, and we use forms of rejection. Eddies’ experience of coming to the acceptance of his son provides hope for healing; a more practical response to conflict that allows dignity, respect and honor which overcomes criticism, blame, bigotry, and ultimately rejection. God bless you Eddie, and thank you for this healing message.~G. Holmes