Feature Spotlight in P.A.R.C. Mag

Click cover to follow to my interview

I was honored to be interviewed by KC Loesener, CEO, and founder of P.A.R.C. Magazine.  

Their July 2017 issue is highlighting discovery and focus’ on subject matters where others have dug deep and discovered something about themselves and overcame or brought certain challenges to light.

My book Voice For The Silent Fathers shares how I overcame my personal challenge of being a young father and street gangster who’s son was gay. 

Please take a few minutes to read the article and share with anyone you know might benefit from reading it. I would also love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment. 

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MAKING A CHANGE STARTS FROM WITHIN!

It’s all about how we think, how we respond and how we learn!

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VOICE FOR THE SILENT FATHERS:  MEMOIR

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#VOICEFORTHESILENTFATHERS

#GANGSTERTURNEDGURU

#EDDIEKWRIGHT

 

Proud of how far I’ve come!

Aug 22, 2016, 12:07 PM
As I wrote in “Voice for the Silent Fathers”, the acceptance of my son’s homosexual lifestyle didn’t happen overnight. There have always been steps in my development and growth. Once I acknowledged and accepted that my son was gay and let him know that I loved him none-the-less, it didn’t mean that my growth process was complete. I set limits on what I did and didn’t want to know and although my son wanted to discuss certain things with me through the years, he was able to recognize that I was still growing in my responsibilities as his father when it came to his gay lifestyle issues. 

God bless him for being so sensitive and understanding. As those boundaries began to widen and expand through the years, I realized how much he valued my opinion and insight when it came to discussing relationships. That was another milestone we crossed that again made me recognize that I was making it more difficult than what it was. Drew continues to allow me to direct where the flag post go when setting the boundaries and is always congratulating me for having the courage to speak up as a father of a child in the LGBTQ community. 

We correspond threw e-mails and speak once a week every Sunday at 7 p.m. and about a month ago he mentioned that he re-connected with his first true love, you know….that “One” and that he was looking forward to him coming to visit. Each week as the date for the visit approached, I could hear how excited and happy he was because things had just been going real good between him and his friend. I gave him my fatherly advice with taking it slow, don’t expect too much and don’t get distracted from all the positive things he’s been achieving ect… and he assured me he wouldn’t. 

The much anticipated weekend finally arrived and he told me how great it was on our scheduled Sunday 7:00 p.m. call as he expressed that his friend was leaving in the morning. 

“Where is he now?” I asked. 

“Oh, he’s right inside” Drew answered while sitting on the outside porch eating and ice cream as we talked. 

“Well put him on the phone” I said. 

“What!?” the shock of my request was clearly evident in his tone. 

“You heard what I said Drew” 

After a slight 3 second pause he said “OOO-Kay” as I heard him opening the front door saying “My father wants to talk to you.” 

His friend got on the phone and we had a nice pleasant conversation. He was polite, friendly, and understood when I explained that I knew he was in my son’s life in the past, but at that period of time I wasn’t to receptive to what was going on but now I look forward to meeting him. I could tell that he was shocked at our conversation, and when Drew got back on the phone he said “I can’t believe you!!” because I completely caught him by surprise. 

I know that my son was proud and of course a little embarrassed as all children are when parents want to talk with their significant other at every age. This is the man that my son cares about and who makes him happy so since I care about my son’s happiness, it’s only right that I embrace whoever he chooses to share his life with. This includes his other friends also. 

Honestly, I always knew this day would come but I would just block it out my mind. After getting back on the phone with Drew and sensing another breath of relief that his old man has crossed another mild stone, it made me feel happy and proud of myself for just how far I’ve come. 

Eddie K. Wright

#voiceforthesilentfathers

#gangsterturnedguru

#eddiekwright

Open letter to the father I used to be!

Referenced Article:  Father Reportedly Refused To Claim Orlando Shooting Victim’s Body Because He Was Gay.

From: WRIGHT, EDDIE

Jun 26, 2016, 1:06 PM

When I first sat down to write this post, right after reading this article about a father who refused to claim his son’s body after he was killed in the Orlando Massacre at club Pulse, my outrage, anger, and disgust for this father who was causing more hurt and pain to his son’s family and friends was clear in my explicit word expression because…..I was mad as hell.

My blood was boiling as visions of a young mans body, alone in the morgue just waiting for his loved one’s to put him to rest flashed in my minds eye. I was livid and had to step away from what I was writing when I noticed how upset it made me.

I went and got a fresh cup of coffee, collected my thoughts, took a few deep breath as I read over what I originally wrote and then I started over.

I already know that plenty of people are going to post comments expressing their outrage at this fathers actions and more of the same from me wouldn’t help. So by the time I finished my coffee and calmed down, returning to my spiritual center, I realized this is one of those fathers I posted about a few weeks ago who won’t get the chance to heal the relationship with his child.

So now from my Gangster turned Guru perspective, I began to feel sad for this father, and all fathers who couldn’t overcome their own prejudices and fears by learning to love unconditionally. I’m sure this fathers son would rather I use this opportunity to again encourage father’s to reach out to their children and work on healing their relationships. If ever there was a time to offer your parental comfort it’s NOW.

I’ve been the master of bad choices and decisions as a parent, and with my life in general, I can admit and accept that. But when I got over my self-righteous, egotistical, know it all way of thinking, swallowed my macho man pride by letting my son know that I love him unconditionally, weather he’s gay, straight, transgender or what ever… A great peace, joy and happiness was felt within my soul.

I realized that with all my imperfections as a father, my son never stopped loving me even when I didn’t make it easy to be loved.

Each time I send out a post expressing the importance of our parental love, acceptance and support, I do it with the specific intent of reaching that father I used to be. Confused, alone, struggling with accepting what I couldn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. But what I did want was to have the courage to be the type of loving father I promised to be when I first held my son, looking into his eyes, silently letting him know that he could always depend on me. I broke that promise plenty of times, but life gave me another opportunity to live up to it and I try my hardest even in my complex situation.

I’m really trying my hardest now to come up with the right words to write that will wake up these fathers that are actually hurting inside, especially with a heart so cold that it allows a father to leave his child’s body unclaimed. No he doesn’t need another person to scold him for his actions, what he needs is a hug because he’s hurting and suffering from a broken heart.

I speak as a father that went through it and it’s going to eat him from within until he’s healed. It’s harder to do that now that he’s son has moved on but I’m sure that’s what his son would want. There are always opportunities to make amends, the first step is to stop causing more hurt and pain. I said it before and will probably say it a thousand times, making peace with my son by giving him my unconditional loving support to live his life in which ever way makes him happy was one of the best things I could do as a father. I hope others parents have the courage to do the same.

Eddie K. Wright aka Gangster turned Guru.

An open letter to fathers of gay and lesbian children. 

Jun 13, 2016, 4:22 PM
The silence of turning off the radio after listening all day to the news reports of the Orlando terrorist attacks was comforting. So thankful that my son made a change in his plans because Pulse is his hang-out spot. 

While sitting in front of my window seeing the Empire State building, World Trade Center, even the Statue of liberty, a million dollar view of the New York City skyline, from 7 flights up in M.D.C. Brooklyn, back fighting my case on appeal. Getting hit with 45 years was an enlightening experience to say the least, waking me up to what life’s really all about. 

I wasted so many moments when I was free, worrying about stupid shit like what the hell I’m going to do when my son openly starts pledging his allegiance to that rainbow colored flag!  I missed opportunities to prepare him for living in such a judgmental world. At that time, it was me, his own father being so judgmental, adding to the challenges I already knew he would confront. 

And when I let go of my judgments with my loving acceptance, everything wasn’t peaches and cream. His justified anger and resentment towards me as a teenager took me on one hell of a roller coaster ride, with no seat belt, but I held on tight to the love for my son, life and God. We share a wonderful relationship because we had the time to work it out and we’re both grateful for that even with me in my current situation. 

As I think about all of those victims, I wonder how many of them had thick headed fathers like myself, but didn’t have the opportunity to resolve their issues, and now won’t get a chance to right the wrong. 

So for all those fathers out there with that “No son of mine” mentality, if ever there was a time to pick up that phone to burry the hatchet…it’s now. You don’t have to have all the answers, you don’t have to feel comfortable with their lifestyle, but what you have to do is let them know that in the end… None of that matters because they’re your child and you love them unconditionally, the way they love you. 

It could be days, weeks, months, or years that have passed, it doesn’t matter. Send a text message of support for them during this difficult time and be grateful that their still alive to receive it. I’m sure their are plenty of fathers in Orlando Florida right now that would be willing to give anything to make peace with the loved one that was lost. 

Maybe this tragedy will be your enlightening experience to put fatherhood in the proper perspective. This is not the time to drag up the pain that may have been caused in the past, we’re dealing with healing, the bottom line which is to let them know they are loved, especially by their fathers. Please trust me….it means a lot.

Eddie K. Wright (a voice for the silent fathers)
#voiceforthesilentfathers

#hatekills

#Loveheals

#prayfororlando

#orlandoshooting

#mentalillness

#orlandostrong

#pulseorlando

#pulsenightclub

#Pulseshooting

#loveislove

#orlandonightclubshooting

#prayforpeace

#ilovemyson