Gangster Turned Guru Presents: “Catching An Epp”

Oct 10, 2018 at 4:23 PM

Suddenly an agonizing outcry interrupted my afternoon spades game. It’s the wailing I was used to after spending over a decade in the penitentiary where stabbings are methodical occurrences that happen every week. Yet, in the two and a half years I’ve been back in M.D.C. Brooklyn on appeal, there’s only been two stabbings on my unit, which would really be labeled as scratches, not that serious at all. 

But this currant screeching was reminiscent of the past, felt in my bones to where I assumed someone was being punctured to the point of loosing their life. 

Up on the top tier, a cell door slammed open, amplifying the screams from this 6 foot 2, muscular mountain of a man, about 35 years old, struck with a look of pure terror. Blax, my new celli, tried pulling this huge man back in the cell, only to be swatted away like a fly while his yelling continued. 

Mountain man, sprinted to the stairs with the attention of the entire unit watching. A two second hesitation, which I suspected he needed to take a deep breath for the continuing hallowing as he threw himself down the stairs. This was a enormous guy, about 250 pounds of muscles, coming down each of the 15 steps hard. 

Crashing at the bottom, he sprang up, spun around and raced back to the top, bellowing out the piercing scream of horror.
He grabbed the same steel cell door he just kicked open, slammed it against the wall and began punching it bare knuckles, like a young Rocky Bowbowwa beating up a side of beef while training in the ice box. 

By now of course, we all figured out what was going on, he was having what we call an epp, short for an episode, after smoking synthetic weed, known as K-2. These are the weekly occurrences I’ve become used to here at M.D.C., it’s just that this one took the crown. He continued beating the steel door until the C.O.’s ran in. It took five officers to restrain him while he kicked, punched, screamed and defecated on himself, until finally he was cuffed and carried out. 

You would think that guys would see this as an informitable warning that what’s labeled as synthetic weed is nothing like weed at all. Smoking crack doesn’t make people act like that! 
But in this strange world where down is up and up is down, as soon as they let us back out of our cells, all the smokers were running around trying to get some of what he had! How crazy is that.

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Excerpt, The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Resurrection

the-myster-of-the-resurrection

Everything I learned, revealed divine consciousness is God dwelling within and outside of us.  The good and the bad, the hot and the cold, all of it is God.  By putting things in that context, I didn’t have to know and understand everything. I was working on living with more trust and appreciation of the process by allowing moments to unfold.

I heard a story on the news which helped me stay grateful for all that I had and kept life in the proper perspective.

A young mother had just left church on Easter Sunday, in the Bronx with her family and had her young baby boy less than two years old, strapped in his car seat.

A stray bullet traveled through the back door, killing her son.

Situations like this used to be my justification for why there can’t be a God.  On what level did the Universal laws get activated to bring that experience about?  I believe God is in control. But hearing stories like that at times – wasn’t convincing.

Nia, my youngest child, was close to that same age when the story broke.  I couldn’t imagine the suffering that the family was experiencing.  I wanted that child’s life to not be a random act of violence.  I used that incident to realize how blessed I am to be able to see my daughters every week, kissing and holding them in my arms, even if it’s only for an hour in the crowded visiting room.

I’m sure that the child’s mother would change situations with me, no hesitation involved, happy to be facing 45 years, as long as her baby boy was alive.  I decided then on that I would never complain about being in prison.  I’ve experienced how important the right attitude was dealing with difficult situations that were ultimately based on your perception and faith.

“If only someone would have explained to me then, what I’ve now come to learn,” I thought, looking out on the unit, seeing impressions of myself at earlier stages in life when I had a gangster mentality, convinced I knew it all.

EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru: The Real O.G.

excerpt

“”I’ve condemned myself to hell on earth,” I thought.

Not only am I indicted for a drug conspiracy, but I was under investigation for extortion, a string of burglaries and armed robberies connected to a crooked Suffolk County cop, a group of shady lawyers and one of the Mafia’s five organized crime families.

When Erick Sermon went head first out a fourth-floor window, I was the first person called.   My crew had a reputation to dish out street justice.  There was no aspect of this gangster lifestyle I didn’t participate in.

That first year of incarceration, was one dramatic court hearing after another.  Each taking a toll on my mother. When she learned that my friends were cooperating with the government against me, she took matters into her own hands.

Mom walked quietly but carried a big stick.

My mother had a reputation of her own in the streets.

The district attorney learned that Mamma Wright was in Gestapo mode and brought it to the judge’s attention at the end of my hearing.

“Your honor, there’s one last issue I would like to address, concerning the defendant’s mother,” the prosecutor said pointing to my mother in the courtroom.

John, turned around with raised eyebrows, looking at my mom who smiled, shrugged her shoulders, listening to what was said.

“What’s your concern?” the Judge asked.

“We’ve received information that Mrs. Wright has confronted a number of potential witnesses and we would ask the Court to advise her to stop.  She’s attempting to obstruct justice.”

My mother kept smiling.

Then the Judge addressed her directly, “Mrs. Wright, although the Court does understand a mother’s love for her son, please cease contact with witnesses involved in this case.  Interfering with a federal investigation is a serious crime. Please allow your sons’ lawyer, who I’m sure has a licensed investigator, address any issues that have any significance to this case.”

“O.k.,” my mother said, nodding her head, still smiling at me as I was lead out of the courtroom.

That evening, I was unexpectedly called down for a legal visit.”

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EXCERPT: The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru

beginning

Chapter One:  The Beginning

Eddie K. Wright

“I experienced the difference living in the black world and the white one. I was sheltered in the safe white world in the suburbs of Long Island, living on a dead end block with close-knit neighbors. Prejudice incidents still occurred with kids once in a while.  Being called a nigger was the one word I knew justified any physical beat down I dished out in childhood fights.  But I had a good healthy adventurous upbringing, riding BMX bikes, playing hide and seek, joining the boy scouts and playing soccer.

As I grew into my adolescent years, my white friends were into groups like AC/DC, Metallica, and Guns and Roses. I was into Africa Bambada, Sugar Hill gang and break dancing.

I was always encouraged to be whatever I wanted to be in life.

Get your education and the sky’s the limit.

But it wasn’t something that I believed. It sounded good when my mother would tell me but growing into a young black teenager, I held different views of life with a sense that my opportunities would be limited.

During my confused, angry, teenage years, I began getting into fights so I started selling weed, I had zero respect for authority and ended up attending five different high schools. Somehow I graduated from Central Islip High School on time in 1991.

At 18 years old, I had a newborn son named Andrew, who I was denying from my ex-girlfriend. I obtained numerous arrest and from what the principal said at the graduation ceremony, this was just the beginning of my journey in life.

I continued acting out on a path of self-destructive behaviors, thinking fighting and shootouts at clubs were cool, just to be known. When I began selling serious drugs, the way money came cemented the idea in my mind of what I wanted to do.

I heard that lifestyle would only land you in prison or the graveyard.

“It wouldn’t happen to me,” I thought.

But even when it did, after doing my time, six months in county jail, then four years in Virginia state prison, I felt so caught up in the life that I thought being a gangster was what God put me in this world to be. I was following my destiny, right off a cliff.

By 32, I was well known in the criminal underworld, connected to street gangs, drug cartels, and major mafia families. I had a house with no mortgage. My new wife was a beautiful young pregnant Columbian knock out. I was managing Erick Sermon, the legendary rap artist, and music producer, traveling the globe and making plenty of money. From the outside looking in, I was on top of the world. But my inner voice would ask “Where am I heading? When is all of this going to come crumbling down?”

Change is a powerful word. It can inflict a strong sense of fear, in those that need it the most.

When our lives have hit rock bottom, the suggestion to change is the one thing that can appear to make things even worse. As long as we live with self-destructive thought patterns and belief systems, difficult results will continue to show up in our life experiences.

I found myself asking life questions, answering them with the gangster thought system that clearly didn’t have the right answers to bring about change.

“What’s the meaning of life?”  “To get rich or die trying.”

“What brings happiness?” “Money and the things I can by with it.”

Those were the rules I lived by.”

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#Launch2019

Living in the NOW

living-in-the-presentAug 12, 2018, at 12:19 PM

People wonder how it is that I can cherish the moment of right NOW.

I admit it’s a learned behavior, especially in my current living conditions, back on appeal here at M.D.C. Brooklyn.

I’ve found that the key is learning to put life in the proper perspective, a perspective from which you have a choice to choose.

That’s what determines the conditions of our lives anyway, a series of choices that attracted the situation we find ourselves in NOW.

So NOW, what choices are we making?

I choose to be positive and optimistic regardless of what’s going on, and I’m faced with monumental challenges that don’t always appear to be working in my favor.

But I have this secret power of faith that I’m always able to rely on in difficult times.

Fears and worries of future events, only hijack the essence of the presence of NOW, cutting one’s self with a double-edged sword.

I choose to be happy and grateful, living in the moment of NOW because in all reality, NOW is all we have.

If I allow my mind to wander with all the should of’s, could of’s, and what if’s, I’d stress myself out, losing all the peace and poise I’ve learned not to take for granted.

I entertain a certain mental attitude of gratitude, that conforms to my spiritual system of belief, and choosing to cherish the moment of NOW positively, is a determining factor to the unfoldment of the conditions I attract to the NOW of my future.

There is an impelling creative force at work in our lives, directed by our thoughts and emotions. The choice to choose in this moment of NOW, expresses to the world who you are. If your not happy with that choice, in that same instant of NOW you can change.

The choice is always yours and always has been. Yet, when we find ourselves in undesirable conditions, accepting responsibility for our bad choices is hard to admit.

But NOW that you know, NOW you can do better, and there’s no more perfect time to apply what you NOW know then NOW!!

Eddie K. Wright, Gangster Turned Guru

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An Open Letter to my Daughter Nia

Nia,

This out of all these letters is the hardest to write. You were robbed the most, as an unintentional victim of my mistakes. You of all my children, have never yet experienced me outside of the prison walls.

But you could never tell that based on the relationship we share. We can look at one another, and no words need to be spoken for us to have a clear understanding.

Last year, you looked at me and said, “WOW, you’re my dad,” and repeated emphatically, “You are my dad.” Then you gave me a big smile. Do you know that every time I look at you, every time I hear your voice, see your picture or think about you, which is all the time…that’s the exact thought that I have about you. “WOW, you’re my daughter!”

Everyone knows you’ve always had me wrapped around your pinky. I remember at an early age when you started recognizing your mesmerizing abilities over me, like a superhero coming into their unique special powers. It was when you boldly talked back to your aunt Mimi on the phone saying, “You need to talk to my father because he said I can have whatever I want!” Leading to Mimi reprimanding me about spoiling my princess.

But I could never do enough to right the wrong that my errors caused in the unforeseen consequences that have affected you. You’re a beautiful spirit with a joyful soul that has an inner strength to overcome any challenges you face.

I can write pages of all your potential and how much I love you but it’s not needed because every time we look at one another, “WE” know. There are no words that can fully express my love for you but I sum it up the best, letting you know that every time I see you, in my head I’m telling myself, “WOW, that’s my daughter!”

Love Always Daddy

Pre-Introduction: The Evolution Of…

Coming in early 2019, Gangster Turned Guru Presents:  “The Evolution of a Gangster Turned Guru”
PRE-INTRODUCTION:
When I first sat down to write “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU,” it was the easiest 300 pages I ever wrote. Reliving the experiences of my criminal past, I wanted the reader to know that there wasn’t an aspect of this gangster lifestyle which I hadn’t participated in.
The ‘go hard or go home’, ‘get rich or die trying’, ‘feast or famine’ attitude for over 20 years had so many stories, that it was going to end up being a four book series. Fortunately, I recognized the content of what I was writing, in what would turn out to be the first three books were reading like non-fiction urban novels.
The message wasn’t corresponding to what I’m inspired to express. Although it’s who I was, it’s no longer who I choose to be and even though my intent wasn’t to glorify my gangster past, some might interpret it that way.
What if readers only buy the first three books without getting to the transformation part?
No.
Influencing anyone on the path is the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t need to build my gangster credibility with the reader. Trust me, my 45-year sentence from the United States Government as the leader of a criminal enterprise is resume enough to do that alone.
Who I thought myself to be, was not who I truly am and with the realization of life’s laws and principals, I’ve experienced how the truth is always the solutions to difficulties that I’ve been faced with. That truth lead me to change my process of thought because I’m the first to admit, I didn’t know how to think. Oh, I thought I knew it all when entertaining my gangster mentality, attempting to achieve what I expected to bring peace and happiness.
Yet the cause, which was the way I thought, didn’t correspond with the effect I was attempting to accomplish. I had no idea of the Universal laws and principals that govern life until I consciously made a decision to search for the truth.
My inner desire enlightened me to a spiritual way of living by realizing that we are immersed in a creative intelligence, an eternal goodness of unconditional love and law. The awakening to my true being, under conditions that most consider being hell on earth, is more evidence of the power we all have access to. I’ve achieved that peace and happiness which is enhanced by sharing this truth with others.
I’m not a spiritual sage or mystic. It wasn’t a beam of illumination or burning bush that woke me up late at night to tell me this spiritual truth. It was the experience of the laws and love of God that shed light on the darkness, making it clear for me to see that the darkness didn’t even exist.
Yet, as long as I continued to hold the perception and belief of being a gangster, the laws corresponding to that thought pattern created the outward experience. But the essence of who I am and who you are cannot and does not change.
The journey of life’s un-unfoldment is one of self-discovery that we each must individually experience in our own way. The importance of one’s personal experience can’t be emphasized enough since this is the foundation of your conviction in what you believe.
It’s not enough for me to say that we are all spiritual beings, unified with life, living in a Universe of creative intelligence that operates according to these Universal laws, set in motion due to the way we think, words we speak and actions we take to create our experience. That this law is God’s law of cause and effect based on an impersonal principle of being a natural law, which means that regardless if used destructively or constructively, the law will take the impression of our thoughts and attract the experience that our thinking directed it to do.
As good as that sounds, learning is not that easy. Most of us are actually bound by our creative freedom, from not consciously being aware of the influence our thinking has in creating the conditions we find ourselves experiencing.
With the law and infinite intelligence of God, there are no limits on what we can individually achieve, except the limits that we place on ourselves according to what we believe.
Spiritual knowledge of this Universal system of life brings the essence of your spiritual perfection to the surface. But until we individually make a conscious decision to challenge the false ideas held about ourselves, and analyze why our lives are in what appears to be a constant state of turmoil, then we can’t expect the habits of thoughts that created the present circumstances to attract something different in the future.
By changing my thought patterns from a gangster living in fear, being angry and frustrated with the world, to a mentality of a spiritual nature, God’s laws directed me to the right path in the choices that I make and experiences that I create. When I don’t know what to do or seem confused, I understand that there is an intelligence within me that does know and will reveal the answer, giving me this unyielding poise that I experience creating peace, harmony, and happiness that so many have trouble finding.
This understanding didn’t’ happen overnight. What’s important is that it happen and regardless of my outer situation, my inner experience of peace and love of God doesn’t change. So I teach what I’ve learned in an attempt to help others realize and recognize the divine essence of their being. I write in the modern-day language of an old all-inclusive universal truth, teaching God’s love, law and how it works according to the way we think. I keep a mental attitude of gratitude, discussing this truth that’s an antidote to the deep emotional pain and distress that so many of us suffer from.
You may not be in the dire situation that’s read about in the following pages, but the method and solutions to find peace and happiness with a meaningful life are the same.
One’s outer circumstances cannot dictate your emotional state unless you allow them to. We see this all the time with two people in the exact same environment, one is joyful and the other is miserable. The only difference between the two is the inner thoughts they choose to entertain.
This is the essence of our free will, the choice to choose how we think and what we think about. This makes all the difference in the creation of your life because you’ll experience who you think you are, even if it isn’t true. And here is where we find the unconditional love of God’s laws, allowing us to experience who we are not, in order to discover who we truly are.
I’ve created immeasurable challenges for myself, transforming them into opportunities that inspired a change that brought about “THE EVOLUTION OF A GANGSTER TURNED GURU“.
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